context: i met this girl on tinder who’s is on the spectrum, we talked for a bit and then exchanged our ig accounts, but she hasnt replied since. I dont understand what happened, if shes just busy, needs time or lost interest. I have no way to tell and im too scared to ask. What should I do?
well, i’d suggest you keep waiting for her to message you first, so long as you’re okay with never talking to her again. alternatively, you could just message her, not even to ask why the long silence, but just to strike up a new conversation. share a fun fact or something, idk.
but then im afraid of coming off as annoying or even creepy. I dont want to break her barriers just bc i want to talk to her, maybe she needs some time. I wrote her and she didnt even respond
Personally, I’d send one more message asking to meet for a coffee date. Maybe frame it as a standing offer she can claim in the future if she doesn’t have the capacity for it at the moment.
And then move on with your life and don’t wait around expecting a reply.
It shows interest, lets her reply in her own time and if the interest is shared lets you become more than just another chain of messages on tinder.
Pro tip for the future: I always exchange cat/pet pics after switching off a dating app. My cat is cuter than me so might as well use that to my advantage! As a bonus I get more pet pics for my collection!
People randomly stop writing. Just let her go and find the next one. Maybe after like a week or two, ask what’s going on.
very unlikely ill find someone else, im not very confindent about that. Since this happens once in a blue moon for me. Dating has always been very hard for me
The mindset of clinging to this connection just makes it harder, trust me.
In online dating you have at least a 70% random loss rate that you have no real control over or idea what went wrong. Even in “real” dating, approaching people during hobbies etc, it doesn’t work in like 30-50% of the cases where you thought there were sparks.
I know that it’s hard, but you’ll find someone again. A blue moon happened once, it’ll happen again :)
thats true but i guess I’ll have to be patient. I realized long ago that the blue moon comes when you don’t expect it, every time
Yeah, dating is 100% a numbers game. You cast a broad net, and then pick through the ones who show interest. There’s no way to find the right person without failing a few times. The people that end up with their high school sweethearts are the exceptions that got extremely lucky, not the standard to strive for.
Don’t take the failure personally. Unless you’re blatantly going around cheating, being misogynistic, racist, etc., it’s likely not anything in particular that you did “wrong”. It simply means you weren’t a good match. The best thing you can do is simply be the best version of yourself. By that, I mean to avoid just sitting around on your hands, expecting someone to land in your lap. The “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” mentality is extremely toxic; Be the kind of person that your ideal partner would want to date.
Online dating is brutal and something I learned to avoid. But if you go that route, don’t make it more than it is. If you think of any part of it as a once in a blue moon opportunity, you’re going to go through hell with nothing to show for it. For both practical results and your mental health, it can’t feel important. When you’re lonely and trying to find someone, it’s really hard to get into that mentality, but it’s crucial.
A match is nothing. Meeting up for the first time is barely interesting. Don’t expect anything from it. Don’t get your hopes up. It’s literally just a conversation. So go into it looking to have a fun conversation. Having fun with it is winning because it makes you more fun to be around, and even if you only have fun conversations you’re still having fun.
Fun is the goal. If you end up making a friend or two out of it, that’s a bonus. You might meet even more people through those new friends. Keep at it long enough and the numbers work in your favor. But that could be a while, so this is just some fun thing you do, like your daily Duolingo lesson. Neither is that serious or useful … but kinda. ish.
How long has she been silent? Days, weeks, hours?
I think she has just popped to the toilet.
two days
ask in tinder if she received your request in insta? idk much about how insta works, but it might be some technical issue and she could think you didn’t send request
she followed me and i accepted, then followed her back, sent a message and an image related to the infodump we shared on tinder (a pic of an okonomiyaki), and she never responded
Probably found someone more interesting. I have matched with some ND people on dating apps but it led to nothing, no even soc media profiles exchange, I had much more luck with neurotypicals.
