Do people confuse autistic people as nice guys? Are some people uncomfortable with you because they think you are a pushover? A pushover may appear weak, but their hidden strength, quiet intensity, or restrained anger can make others uneasy.

  • Perspectivist@feddit.uk
    8·
    3 个月前

    Why would anyone be afraid/uncomfortable around someone whose a pushover? If anything, it just makes people not respect a person like that which is the exact opposite and the reason why being a “nice-guy” is a bad long term strategy.

    • venkman_lemmy@lemmy.worldOP
      2·
      3 个月前

      Because they can be unpredictable. They cannot be trustworthy. They can be broken easily. People feel insecure around those people whom they cannot trust.

      • Perspectivist@feddit.uk
        9·
        3 个月前

        They’re not unpredictable though. I can count on them being a pushover who never stands up for themselves.

        • venkman_lemmy@lemmy.worldOP
          2·
          3 个月前

          At some point, they may break down emotionally. You play games with them, and so do others who do not like you. That may make them unreliable.

      • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
        5·
        3 个月前

        I think I get what you’re getting at.

        Being ‘hard to read’ and awkward can make people uncomfortable, especially if they’ve witnessed an outburst, retreat, or some seemingly inscrutable reaction. As an example. I catch myself putting people off with a ‘neutral frown’ in conventionally inappropriate situations, sometimes. I have a tendency to get over-excited and start talking over others or interrupting, a weird contrast to a shy/introverted demeanor.

        I also have an issue where I perceive myself as unreliable/untrustworthy, and a tendency not to reciprocate when something personal is shared. That might be interpreted as deliberate when simply I missed the cue (or get distracted by it).

        …What I’m getting at is you might be mixing up some self-esteem issues with what people actually perceive interacting with you. You might be mixing up being ‘untrustworthy’ with simpler misunderstandings. I’m speaking from personal experience, here.

        • venkman_lemmy@lemmy.worldOP
          3·
          3 个月前

          You might be mixing up being ‘untrustworthy’ with simpler misunderstandings.

          Something along those lines. If you have difficulty communicating your boundaries, you may appear “nice”, especially if you are a shy person.

          • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
            2·
            3 个月前

            Yeah.

            I guess I am treated as ‘unreliable’ over my weird behavior, like I’m being babied. Sometimes dismissed or ignored.

            I am wording all this really poorly. Hell, I’m still trying to figure it out myself.