sometimes it feels like my circumstances are entirely unique, since nobody in the privacy sphere really talks about the isolation that can come with cutting off your ties to data harvesters. but i guess my isolation runs deeper than that.

i deleted my instagram account recently after a few months of having it. i originally made my account reluctantly after some online friends asked me to. i was already a bit of an isolated person, but the pursuit of online privacy amplifies it. not to mention, i’m a neurodivergent queer person in a small town.

i dropped out of school after years of my disabilities going unacommodated, elementary school through high school. i’m now freshly 18 and just kind of existing. i’ve been looking for a job with no luck since i was 16. most of my friends i had at school have moved off to college, and the few left aren’t a real pleasure to be with, so i avoid them.

i have no community in my town, in either school or job form, and it’s hard to keep online friends when i’m constantly drifting away from the platforms they use to talk to one another. it’s hard to make friends, too. i feel like, in order to click with someone, we must both possess an extremely specific set of compatible traits, or else conversations fall flat. when i narrow down my sights to people that only exist on privacy-friendly platforms, it becomes even harder to find someone—let alone a group of people—compatible with the way i socialize.

advice appreciated, but i’m mostly just putting this here to get it off my chest

  • Strider@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    3 days ago

    I can relate on a few accounts, I have no direct solutions but a few decades of going through some of it.

    For one, I am really restrictive with my data. As such I never used much social media or any* meta service. Of course this excludes me from things.

    Here in Germany though I went without WhatsApp (*being the current exclusion) a year but had to reinstall, since it’s just used not only by “everyone” here but also by official contacts which is more critical.

    I hate it but I can not save the world, so this is a compromise of being able to live here.

    What your compromise you have at your location I can not say, but don’t be too hard on yourself. You do not have to be perfect. Not everything has to be perfectly in line with your convictions.

    In regards to neurodivergency, I struggle with the latter especially and tend to cut a sharp line in regards to this in comparison to neurotypicals. But we don’t have to do this - for one, nobody cares. On the other hand, I think NDs are far more structured with this, so cutting a few corners is still more aligned with conviction than NTs.

    I can not say where your feeling comes from, but at least a part of the isolation is from being ND. That’s just the way it is, being 1% vs 99%. But you will find people. Mostly not anyone that understands everything about you. But enough and care.

    The world is big. As you’re likely to be located in the US consider first a trip, later maybe moving to a location more accommodating your needs. Just because they’re not met locally doesn’t mean they’re not valid needs. And they’re okay.

    All of this isn’t easy, but you can find your way.