I wish this was my experience. I’ve seen that women look after each other a lot better generally.
That’s been my experience too. Men are very standoffish or happy to be alone, women see another woman alone and want to adopt them like a stray kitten.
As a trans girl, I can confidently say that I have a much easier time hanging out with girls I just met than I ever had hanging out with guys I just met. Although both do happen and aren’t too uncommon.
It’s cool to have intrepid folks who have crossed that threshold, and can confirm firsthand for us that boys are just not that well socialised. We need to be raising boys to be much kinder and more thoughtful.
I’d like to hear the trans boy perspective too. Maybe the trans girls felt uneasy being surrounded by men.
I definitely did feel a little out of place around men, and many of my friends were women (even before my egg cracked). Uneasy is probably the wrong word, more just like an outsider.
I definitely wouldn’t make the claim “men are not that well socialized” (although that may well be true - but I couldn’t speak to that purely from my own experience)
Fair. I feel like I was not held to a very high standard growing up - at least, not as high as I now hold myself and others. Times also change though.
While not a trans man, I have a great many friends that are - and all of them have really struggled with the social isolation men face. “It shouldn’t be like this” no shit dude, but this is unfortunately what you signed up for and it’s gonna be a fuck of a lot of work to fix it, welcome to the team.
Geographically it can be better because queer folks tend to stick together, but outside of queer spaces… yeah, it’s rough out there.
Trans girl here sharing the same sentiment
I think it depends on age, from what I’d seen older men seem to have a harder time meeting new friends than women
I wonder if it’s just a pack mammal thing. Like the way young male lions hang out in groups but the older ones are solitary especially if they have a pride.
Any other older men looking to make friends: consider trying Dungeons and Dragons. No you are not too old. It’s got the vibe of a regular poker game - sitting around a table, joking, smoking/drinking - but you can be extremely poor. The device on which you’re reading this is all you really need.
Tabletop RPGs are a good and cost effective hobby. You can play DND with the free “SRD” rules posted online, but you won’t get the fancy pictures and all the extras.
There are other games like it that are even cheaper. My personal favorite is Fate. Free rules, only needs four six sided dice.
The main problem is finding a good group to play with. DND is mega popular so if you’re just looking for social, it’s a good starting point. If you’re not into fantasy, you can branch off into other games later.
DM me if you want me to send you my monster sorting program I made a couple of years ago that has pictures of all of the pages in the monster manual in it
can confirm, I am a large lazy cat
Even social hobbies you have issues at?
I don’t have any social hobbies at the minute. It is not ideal
Time to find one or two. That will help a massive ton.
All my time goes to work and my kid, and until my wife has a solid income again I pretty much have no time to do any real living outside of my obligations.
Been this way for four years, but we’re almost there. Setbacks along the way. Becoming an immigrant in another country didn’t help, tell you h’wat.
I went on a canyon drive one time. We started with 7 cars, when we got to the end of our route, we had 8. Hopped right out of his car and stood around in the circle with the rest of us, didn’t even register for a second that it was just some random guy. He thought it looked fun so he kept up with us. Cool dude.
We were once in a small park playing frisbee. UPS driver comes over and joins us for a while.
Cool guy. He said he was going to start carrying a frisbee in his truck
I always keep one under the seat in case of emergencies
Like, if you get carjacked by a Border Collie?
What? No. I am a Border Collie
That happened to us one time with paintball. We got to this creek where we played and this dude was just there, he said his friends flaked so he just played with us
“He let me use his lighter, he’s cool.”
Hah, I’ve been there. Someone needed to borrow a lighter and just invited me to hang out with his friends. Felt weird at first but everyone was really cool
“fucker stole my lighter”
We had 4 lighters! Who has all the damn lighters!?
Cue whoever has the 2x oversized hoodie emptying their hoodie pocket of like 8 lighters: Sorry! I just forget!
Once met a dude in Walmart who had a cat with him. Talked in Walmart, and now he’s one of my best friends.
It’s neat how one little weird thing turns people from strangers to friends.
Like you can be walking down the street and pass someone and neither of you even nod, but if you each notice an old lady doing naked cartwheels, 80% chance you’re having coffee together soon.
I’ve found that crisis does it, too. I him (cat friend, we’ll call him lol) while in a city a few hours from home, because my mom was helicoptered there for emergency surgery, and was in ICU for over a month. It was a horrible, terrible time, and the state I was in when I met cat friend definitely contributed to the friendship. He didn’t know me from Adam, but he was there for me when I needed someone
Haha gender discrimination
we need a phrase like wife bad but for these
It’s basically just “women bad”
Woman alien 👽
Can also be “man alien 👽” depending on the content
I was driving up a mountain in my jeep and passed another SUV. They were driving real slow after we passed each other. I stopped, reversed, and asked “you guys smoke weed”. We then took bong rips on the side of the trail for like a hour.
One of my favorite switcheroos:
[Other person at train station]: Hey do you have a cigarette?
Me: Nope but I’ve got these weed edibles
I like to think I’m brightening their journey and providing healthy options. If they get the cigarette from someone else, then they’ll at least get a nice 1-2 combo.
They’re being friends for a year but don’t know their names
My wife is like this with my newer friends. Where did they grow up? What music do they like? What’s their partner like?
Lady, calm down, I’ve only known them for a few years now lol. She can meet someone and recite their whole backstory after the 2nd meet-up.
I was the random guy at a new year’s party a few years ago. Was hanging with a friend and some of her friends I hadn’t met before when she needed to bounce, then I just ended up going to a random party.
I got like 3 New years kisses, so I won’t complain.
Where’s my Xbox? Oh, the junky Jeff brought over last night stole it.
True story?
One of many.
No bro has ever took me off the streets to chill I must have fucked vibes
Lemmy: your daily dose of misogyny
Not really misogynistic is it, the first is not a bad thing
The meme format of “Wokaj vs. Chad” implicitly puts the Chad over the Wojak
Sounds like you’re doing a lot of projection there bud
Hmmm, wonder why you’re getting defensive around general accusations of misogyny not particularly directed towards you
there are no wojaks here
First result on “wojak” image search
In fairness thats the first result on a “wokaj” search but your point is still good
Turns out I can’t spell lmao
That’s the first result of “wokaj” there, sport.
Oops, can’t spell it seems
Oh I see lemmy is not better than reddit with this boomer-style humour. Tell us one about how women and Asians drive next.
LOL I’ve literally done this
Same! I think the Seattle Freeze is mostly dead because of all the transplants. (I have a “Seattle” tag for any lemmy user that talks about Seattle, and your name is obvious).
I met my neighbor a few weeks ago because there was some crazy doing donuts in the grass of a park with tons of cops around. We got a beer later that week even though we have nothing in common, but were able to just hang and chat about whatever.
I think the Seattle Freeze is just yuppies being busy. It’s no different from any other city.
“And he already told me he’s not a cop.”
* we have only known
