So I joined a local discord server that was really appealing to me and has IRL meetings. I got emotionally invested in it and really excited to go to the next meeting. BUT they canceled it last minute!!! Since I was super excited I got really mad instead. I tried to recover the lost timeslot by DMing people who were going to attend the meeting if they wanted to hang out. I thoroughly checked if they said “ask for DM” or “DMs open” in their profile and everything and I had the server rules in mind. I made some good connections but no one agreed to hang out. One person specifically clarified that they are only comfortable meeting in the group setting not one on one (I also watched their Drag Show performance on the night before, and we talked on stage after and agreed to meet up at said meeting). I also expressed my emotions in the chat. Several people got concerned about my enraged behavior and reached out to the mods and I got banned as fast as the staff could respond. A big factor in the ban was that the feedback was really delayed; no one told me what I was doing wrong exactly until 2 days after I made several bad social mistakes in the meantime.
Can we talk about the mental health aspect of this please?
update, I’m at the mental health urgent care clinic now.
Genuinely wishing you the best of luck and that you get the care you need. Stuff sucks so bad sometimes.
It sounds like you expressed your emotions in chat in a way that made people concerned about you. Since they are not mental health professionals, and are just other regular people, they didn’t respond in a way you would have found helpful. They do not have the responsibility or training to do so.
Writing down your immediate reaction allows you to work through your immediate oversized reaction. You don’t need to bottle it up, and you can read it later in a calm state and figure out if any of that needs to be shared, and how best to do so.
It’s useful to keep in mind that the people you interact with may also be going through their own struggles. Because of mine, I tend to avoid people with oversized reactions to things I consider the mundane disappointments of life. I would not have replied to you explaining what you did wrong, either.
But, should my reaction be accomodated for, of yours? They are both symptoms. Both can be incredibly harmful in different ways. If they didn’t fuck over our lives, they’d just be personality quirks, not an illness.
It’s possible the group could do more to accommodate you. It’s possible this particular group can’t, for whatever reason. Think of groups like this as a collection of individuals taking on voluntary responsibility. Each of them has their own circumstances, and only so much they can do. Just like you. They might be wrong or you might be, but it’s best to take this as a learning experience for yourself since you aren’t in a position to change them.
Next time write the chats, but give them 24hrs before sending. Then see if they still make sense with a cooler head.
does that still work if my emotions are out of control for 100 hours?
Yes. You have to start somewhere. If you don’t even try it’s never going to get better. If it’s the same after 24 hours, cool, nothing changed. But at least then there is a chance of something different happening.
Can we talk about the mental health aspect of this please?
Talk about what? If you have mental health problem then you should talk to doctor, not us. And people demonstrating sincerely aggressive behavior should be banned. Mental illnesses are not excuse. Mental illnesses are additional burden.
it makes sense but it doesn’t make sense. I even went to urgent care mental health counseling and they said they don’t think I’m a risk to others that I can write things down in my diary and wait for things to calm down and get better.
that I can write things down in my diary and wait for things to calm down and get better.
Do that then. Don’t write right away. Wait until you calm down. What do you expect for us to add? Do as your doctor say.
but things got worse after the doctor I think something’s wrong
Worse how?
I figured it out, turns out consequences arrive later. Therapy can’t change the past, but consequences do reflect the past. Consequences make me feel awful.
