So I (17F) was (13F) back then in seventh grade. I was one of the “popular-ish” girls and I had this friend group including the Queen Bee Beatrice. Sometimes, Beatrice would be nice to me, but other times, she would make fun of me for not passing the ball to her in Gym, for not playing sports on a team like she did, or for not being as good as her. She would say “Wow. You finally did something good for once."
But then even if she’d yell at me, throw the ball at my face, and make me cry, she would act like none of it ever happened. I got addicted to the highs of our friendship.
Sometimes, I’d text her, and she’d act very dry, making me depressed. She eventually told me her dryness was all my fault and was because I texted her, and she asked me not to do that because I was an annoying brat, so I stopped.
I also had a crush on someone in our friend group, Helen. Helen was one day, talking to her friend Ellie. They met up with each other again since both our schools went on a field trip to this college. However, they ran away when I tried to catch up to them and say “hi”, so I left them alone. I said hi to Helen again, and she stomped away, telling Beatrice I was a creepy stalker.
Some days, Helen would act like we were best friends, even flirting with me, but other days, she would snap at me, behave rudely, and openly reject anything I did or said but would like it or agree if someone like Beatrice or another friend said the same thing.
There was another time where I was talking to another good friend of Helen’s, Gabrielle. Gabrielle was talking to this girl Camilla at the time, and I went over to say hi and ask if I could join in the conversation. Camilla said hi, but that she was gonna go back to her table, since it was lunchtime. Gabrielle proceeded to block all my socials, send me threats, and told me I was a stalker like Helen said and to never speak to her again or she’d beat me up.
I decided I wouldn’t speak to any of those people again.
Beatrice then told me she pretended to be my friend with the others because they pitied me.
I feel like I overreacted by not speaking to them and seeing them as mean people because maybe I’m the mean one for not understanding they didn’t like me.
Clearly NTA. These are not good friends. Not at all. Drop em and don’t look back
Thank you :)
Judging by what you’ve said I don’t think you were acting mean or creepy. Ceasing contact seems like the right choice for people that seem to be concocting a fantasy void of substance to have reasons to dislike you. As for Helen without more context it seems like she might be trying to work out if she’s gay or not and is projecting that insecurity onto you. I forget where I heard it but let me paraphrase, if you ever doubt how much space you hold in someone’s heart, leave some room of your own and wait to see if they fill it, if not then they weren’t much of a friend in the first place.
NTA
Thank you. They also said I would never find love (I have a girlfriend and most of them are still single) because I’m a “weird” kid.
Rough. Defs ditch those assholes and never look back!
Also, she did date Beatrice, have internalized homophobia, and called me her husband and “jokingly”(?) said “Let’s get married”.
Yeah no fuck that shit, she’s objectifying the shit out of you with that. Granted y’all are young so theres time for growth and regret for them but currently they aren’t worth the heartache and may never be. Hope you have found people that enjoy your company instead of just treating you like some sort of plaything
I have, tysm. I have a girlfriend now, two actually
The way they react is utter disrespect. Even if you didnt understand that they didn’t like you, they didn’t respect you enough to tell you why they were reacting the way they were. Leaving you in the dark is an attempt to make you feel crazy or bad, to save themselves from the awkwardness of then telling you how they feel about the ways you interacted with them.
At that age its hard to know better, unfortunately.
All that being said, they may also just be bitches
I feel like I overreacted by not speaking to them and seeing them as mean people because maybe I’m the mean one for not understanding they didn’t like me.
This seems like clear gaslighting by them at its finest.
NTA. These people sound like miserable jerks who find reasons to hate anyone different from them.
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Have you considered that you might be neurodivergent?
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Have you considered they might just be bitches?
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None of those people were ever your friend.
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I am, in fact, neurodivergent. How did you know? (genuinely) I have autism and ADHD.
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Yes, but I thought they were innocent despite Gabrielle finding my alt accounts, friending me and my friends on alts, and trying to look at my posts, my location, and my friend’s locations at every minute.
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True. Does my ex-crush Helen sound like a bully too? I genuinely cannot tell.
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Cuz I also have AuDHD and your story mirrored my experiences growing up.
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People like us physically can’t comprehend choosing to be cruel. Unfortunately some people raise little assholes/bitches.
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I honestly dont know but Helen upset me more than anyone else in your story. Even if she isn’t a categorical bully that was 100% emotional abuse. Took me half a dozen relationships over a decade to learn to recognize it myself.
Thank you so much, she would go from kind to rude. Is that what would be considered “tsundere” in anime? Or is tsundere acting differently than Helen?
Lol I’m so old I thought you meant Tsunade from naruto.
Uhh I don’t think so. Sounds more like BPD or emotional immaturity. Regardless IMO tundare doesn’t have a place in relationships. Its just another trope like how you should “pursue” your crushes.
I’ll tell you right now, when someone loves you, you’ll feel it and it will feel safe. Notwithstanding any past trauma that triggers you that you’ll need to heal from.
Thank you so much 🫂:)
Good luck to you!
Thanks!!
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