- cross-posted to:
- coffee@lemmy.world
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The good thing is that coffee withdrawals are over quite quickly and don’t have long-term effects.
But getting peer pressured into an addiction by one’s mom of all people is ironic.
People doing something in your immediate vicinity, without excluding you or in other ways hinting you have to do the same, are not peer pressuring you. Any obligations you feel to do the thing is entirely caused by your own insecurities.
Well, there is an innate drive to be part of a community baked into our biology. We see people enjoying something, and we want to do it too. It doesn’t need to be framed so negatively as being an insecurity, though I wouldn’t necessarily frame it as peer pressure, either. It’s more just a human desire to share in a new experience with others.
Peer pressure is the sensation of psychological pressure when deviating from peers. It doesn’t have to be caused intentionally or through active action, and it’s a basic fact of life that at least 95% of humanity experiences. (I can’t speak for all forms of neurodiversity).
You literally described peer pressure.
Ok let me rephrase it a little more clearly. There’s external peer pressure, and internal peer pressure. What I described in my other comment is a lack of external peer pressure from your surroundings, and your internal peer pressure compelling you to do something. Internal peer pressure is a problem caused by yourself, and you cannot blame that on anyone else.
Susceptibility to both what you describe as external or internal peer pressure always comes down to your own insecurities.
For example, I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t smoke. Never did. Growing up there was quite a bit of external peer pressure. But I still decided to not drink or smoke and I stuck to it. Your actions are your actions, and you can’t blame anyone for them no matter if it’s external or internal peer pressure.
But the whole premise is flawed. Having to “blame” someone for your own decisions is always a sign of not exactly being in control of yourself and your life. It’s always a sign of not being exactly mentally fit. Because this action in itself is a sign that you don’t take responsibility for your own actions, but instead look for someone else to blame your decision on.
I don’t see OOP doing that in the cartoon. She takes responsibility for her own actions. “I peer pressured myself”. She realized the mechanism at play (she wanted to fit in, and thus did something she actually didn’t want to do) and took responsibility for it. She’s not looking for blame anywhere at all.
But the whole premise is flawed. Having to “blame” someone for your own decisions is always a sign of not exactly being in control of yourself and your life. It’s always a sign of not being exactly mentally fit. Because this action in itself is a sign that you don’t take responsibility for your own actions, but instead look for someone else to blame your decision on.
I would argue that children and teenagers are generally susceptible to this while being perfectly developmentally healthy (though of course, not fully mature). It’s great that you weren’t susceptible to those pressures, but many others are at those ages, and that’s not indicative of any mental weakness. Susceptibility to peer pressure is a helpfully adaptive trait in many ways (it goes a long way towards making people generally more hygienic and friendly, for example), it’s just value neutral for people who aren’t yet good at predicting the long-term consequences of their decisions.
I don’t see OOP doing that in the cartoon. She takes responsibility for her own actions. “I peer pressured myself”. She realized the mechanism at play (she wanted to fit in, and thus did something she actually didn’t want to do) and took responsibility for it. She’s not looking for blame anywhere at all.
In the cartoon, no, but the OP of this thread phrased it a little more actively. I don’t have a problem with it and think it was chosen for comic effect (successfully, imo), but I think that’s what your parent commenter was responding to.
Any obligations you feel to do the thing is entirely caused by your own insecurities.
All children have a natural inclination to imitate their parents. It’s a basic instinct of childhood development.
This comic is not depicting a child but an adult.
The comic is depicting a mother and daughter. No ages are given.
The daughter is artistically portrayed as smaller and more child-like than the mother, though. So consider that, from a psychological perspective.
The daughter references the mother visiting her, indicating she is living alone. That’s a somewhat decent indicator for adulthood, at least in most cultures.
Allistic children have this instinct
More common is getting peer pressured into an ED by your mom
ED?
eating disorder
Oh thank goodness. Here I’m thinking erectile dysfunction.
lmao… my first instinct was to type it out, i figured people shorten it as a sort of trauma filter, knew at least one person would think it was “Erectile Dysfunction” but proceeded nontheless
IDK if there’s a similar function on Lemmy, but at least on tumblr it’s recommended to tag things in full (eg: a post about eating disorders should be tagged eating disorder instead of ED or funky eating or something dumb like that) so that way filtering is easier (though, people who don’t want to see ED content would likely filter both, it’s good for when there isn’t a specific euphemism everyone uses (there are so many terms people use for rape on the internet it isn’t even funny))
Tell me you’re eastern european without telling me you’re eastern european
But getting peer pressured into an addiction by one’s mom of all people is ironic.
It’s one case where I’d argue that the most literal interpretation should apply, dictionary definition be damned. Your authority figures are not your peers.
Once youre an adult parents should not longer be authority figures.
Also, someone drinking coffee without you isn’t peer pressure.
There are coffee withdrawals? I drink 2 (weak) coffees a day sometimes 3 and I have multiple times had a week or two without coffee because I forgot. I just drink it for the taste and warmth.
It’s caffeine withdrawal. I used to get it a lot as a kid. My parents were separated and one of them had caffeinated drinks and one didn’t. When I figured out why I was getting headaches, I just stopped drinking anything with caffeine.
Some people are more or less sensitive to caffeine. Going from one coffee a day to zero has me with headaches and tiredness for a day or two.
My dad is an alcoholic and I’m convinced that I’ve inherited certain vulnerabilities to addiction. I’ve never had a problem with alcohol, but by God, when I get into a regular full-caf coffee habit, and then I miss one or two cups, the withdrawal symptoms hit me hard. I’ve been trying to slowly lower my ratio, but it’s hard to even contemplate going totally decaf when I’ve got a retail job and I’m a little scared of trying to deal with customers and withdrawal headaches at the same time.
The way caffeine works is that it allows the body to release energy reserves that it usually “locks” away from you. It allows you to tap into these reserves for concentration and makes you feel less tired.
That’s helpful for short-term use, giving you more energy and concentration.
But if you use too much caffeine for too long (“too much” depends on your body and “too long” is a few days), the body adjusts to the caffeine levels and now you have the same energy reserves and concentration that you had without caffeine before. Caffeine thus loses its effect on you and your baseline shifts, so that you need caffeine to be on the same level as before.
If you now stop your caffeine intake, this swings back. Your body thinks you are really tired and you get headaches, bad mood, low concentration and so on, until you either take in more caffeine or you abstain long enough for your baseline to shift back.
That’s why there are people who say they can’t work before they had their first coffee/energy drink. They literally can’t, because if they aren’t on the level of caffeine they are used to, their body tells them that they are super exhausted. This is the caffeine dependency/withdrawal effect.
The way caffeine works is that it allows the body to release energy reserves that it usually “locks” away from you.
I thought it just blocked the receptors for the chemicals that made us feel sleepy, not tapped into some hidden energy.
Correct - my best ELI5.
When you wake up your body starts producing adenosine, which slowly locks into receptors in your brain. As the day goes on, these receptors fill. By the end of the day your receptors are full which tells you you’re tired and need to go to sleep. When you sleep, these receptors clear to start the next day fresh (which is one of the reasons if you don’t sleep well, they don’t all clear and you start the day tired.)
Caffeine fits these receptor sites, preventing the adenosine from locking in and delaying the onset of fatigue. Caffeine half life is about 5-6 hours, which can lead to the “crash” as the free adenosine starts locking into the receptors the caffeine is now making available as it breaks down.
When caffeine is consumed regularly and the brain isn’t detecting the expected adenosine feedback, it responds by creating more receptors. More caffeine is now needed to account for the new receptors. If you skip caffeine with the addition of receptors, the adenosine fills the extra receptors faster and leaves you comparitively more fatigued/with withdrawal symptoms. If you reduce/abstain from caffeine for a few days the extra receptors are reduced and you return to baseline.
That’s basically the same thing. When you feel sleepy, you aren’t at the end of your reserves. Your body tells you that you are sleepy at a time when you still have reserves.
Blocking these receptors doesn’t tap into any magic hidden energy, it just stops your body from telling you that you are running on fumes. Thus it allows you to go farther into your reserves. In extreme cases to the point where you collapse, because you really don’t have any reserves left.
Edit: Just to be clear, going into your reserves is not a good or healthy thing. It’s not some magical potential unlocker or something, but it’s running your body under circumstances it’s not made for. If you use caffeine when you really should be sleeping, that’s short-term ok, but can lead to some serious consequences in the long term.
Tomato. Potato. Same thing
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My grandma just made me coffee after I was 10 days clean, and I drank it, since I didn’t want it to go to waste…
Now harness that addiction and turn it into a hobby!
To the uninitiated, coffee is a surprisingly deep rabbit hole
Did you know the french invented the espresso? Scholars still debate if the name comes from ‘exprès’ (as in specially made for you) or ‘express’ (as in fast).
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I always thought it came from “being pressed through the coffee grounds”
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The story goes that coffee was found when a goat herders goats ate the berries, and got all excited.
A bit worried, the goat herder went to the local religious authorities and told his story. The sanction was severe, the devil lives in the berries, burn them all down to the ground!
So off they all went, torches in hand, but when they put fire to the coffee plants, it smelled so good that the clergy decided it couldn’t be the devils work and retracted the condemnation, and thus coffee was discovered!
I drink coffee. If someone would want to chat with me over coffee but then drinks water, I wouldn’t care one bit. If you cannot figure this out with your own mom, then I am really not sure what to think about that relationship.
You’re under the impression the mom was judging her? It is a very normal human tendency to want to mirror others. That’s all this is.
I never said the mom was judging her. I rather see it she cannot even approach her own mom to ask if it is ok to sit and not drink coffee. Or likewise her mom wondering why her daughter doesn’t want to sit with her when she drinks coffee. I don’t know, just overall seems a very artificial and unlikely situation to me.
I don’t see it that way at all. The two wanted to sit together, the daughter subconsciously needed to mirror her mother, so she did. It doesn’t say anything about my relationship with friends I used to hang out with, that I smoked cigarettes with “socially”. I never asked them if I could not smoke, they never pressured me to smoke in any way. I simply had an instinct to do what they were doing. I felt more comfortable that way. I’ve dated women who hated beer but when surrounded by people drinking beer, they would drink half of one. I think this kind of thing is extremely common. Peer pressure isn’t always overt, as in someone suggesting someone do something others are doing.
This is how I, and everyone I know, started smoking.
Want a break at in work? You can have your legally mandated 15 minutes for every 8 hour shift.
Or you can become a smoker and get <10 minutes of every hour.
As an external employee that gets bought specifically to realize a project/idea/task I found out that smoking made it easier to connect to the employees there and exchange information/get help/whatever.
I only smoked there, after work when I got home, even on weekends, I did not smoke.
Yeah , smoking is a great bonding activity even more so now that you have designated smoking areas. It’s the new third place.
And I only smoked at work at first too. Then it wasn’t just at work…
Is “coffee addiction” the new meme? I’ve been seeing this pop up over and over again across social media.
Caffeine is extremely addictive and the withdrawal symptoms are quite severe.
I haven’t noticed this personally. I quit for two weeks a while back and didn’t notice any physical symptoms and just missed the ritual.
How many cups did you drink daily before the break?
Just one, or an energy drink <=150mg caffeine. Basically, at most 150mg caffeine, any more and I notice issues with my sleep.
You should be well below any intake that would cause withdrawal symptoms. The Mayo clinic lists a cup (237ml) of coffee with 96mg of caffeine. People who I’ve heard report withdrawal symptoms drink upwards of 5 cups a day.
I wish, man. I get a headache only tylenol can fix if I’m like 3 hours late.
Conspiracy theory brain goes: This meme trend has to be an attempt at manufacturing consent to reduce caffeine consumption due to rising coffee prices due to climate change. That way when coffee is phased out, it doesn’t cause a huge outrage and is just seen as a thing only addicts use and it falls into the same “moral failing” BS as any other addiction because we all need to be “healthier”.
I don’t think that’s it though because there are plenty of energy drink companies trying to pick up former coffee drinkers who are looking for lower cost alternatives.
I’m reading “The Zoomers are Killing Coffee” headlines in my mind’s eye already.
lower cost alternatives
lol
Once you have the wherewithal to grind your own coffee and acquire a percolator or a French press, a cup of coffee is dirt cheap and only takes like five minutes. Doesn’t take -that- long to recoup the costs, either, if you’re a regular drinker.
Buying coffee from Starbucks every morning is for suckers.
Currently yes, but the cost of beans is going to continue to increase as climate change worsens. We’ve already seen disruptions in harvests and price hikes due to this. We’ll see how it shakes out in the long run for total cost increase.
Also, if we’re comparing buying an energy drink on the go vs a cup of coffee on the go, energy drinks are already much cheaper. The convenience aspect shouldn’t be ignored. Generally though, I agree, buying a coffee every day is for suckers.
It’s definitely weird whatever it is. Can’t drink together because not both having coffee?
I’m pretty sure caffeine is a performance enhancing drug for a lot of jobs so no chance of that. Plus like you allude to, it can be synthetically manufactured for cheap without worrying about growth conditions or import of coffee beans.
Mother: “My addiction, is now hers. She is now truly my child.”
Next time mix hot chocolate with the coffee to improve taste! Also get a chocolate addiction
“Hi, I’m Janx, and I’m a chocoholic…”
Coffee addiction or caffeine dependancy?
Should have had chicory.
