so i know this one girl who’s pretty freaky, if you know what i mean, and got mad at me because i didn’t share her interest in gay porn manga, but i just could never get into it. i prefer romantic rather than sexual content, and as a lesbian, i prefer romance between two women.
some people say, especially men, say it’s not okay due to fetishization of gay men and straight women not knowing the queer or the male experience, but someone else said they should be able to enjoy what they want and to say that it’s not ok was “gatekeeping” interests.
my friend is also pretty immature, but it’s ok. like, she thinks women kissing is gross and it “doesn’t sit right with her” but is fine with men kissing, and says women don’t attract her and only has interests and crushes on men but then says she’s bi? maybe she prefers men, idk???
anyway, what’s wrong with it so i can learn better??
thanks so much! this girl also used to bully me for being autistic and she still talks about hating “weird” people who are autistic but IDK if she still bullies them and she doesn’t bully me
Oof, that’s not fun.
I’m autistic too, though… I didn’t even figure that out until around the time I got to be about 30 years old… because basically nobody knew what the hell autism even was/is, back in the 90s/00s.
Yeah I mean my general advice would be that she, your friend, probably is going through some of her own struggles, of at least some type, at the moment, so… have sympathy and empathy for that.
But at the same time, don’t just be totally ok with her being rude or obnoxious, don’t be a doormat.
Don’t go out of your way to provoke or antagonize her either.
I dunno, its kind of a tough call, how to approach a person like that, who is… kind of unstable.
Hopefully I’m not reading into this situation more than what is actually happening, I don’t actually know you or this other person, I’m sure there is a novel worth of context I am missing… but yeah, she seems to be going through some inner turmoil of some kind.
she refuses to change, says it’s the “way she is” and nothing was ever her fault when she bullied me because i sucked at everything and deserved bullying. anyway, she probably does have some sort of struggle, idk.
Yeah… that does sound more like she has some kind of a difficult/hostile home situation.
Bullies tend to learn to be bullies from somewhere, and sadly, that is often their parents.
Being a bully is basically … a reflexive response to yourself being bullied, abused, neglected, something like that.
People don’t tend to learn how to put on a mask of being forceful and overconfident, just by default, basically all the time… that usually happens because of external things forcing that onto them, as a survival mechanism.
But also… I hope you don’t just put up with her bullshit all the time.
Like I’m not saying to pick a fight with her, but to… have and establish boundaries, tell her when she is crossing them.
If you can give her a bit of pushback when she is being shitty, and she actually values you as friend, she may actually learn to control herself a bit better, if she wants to keep you as a friend.
yeah, i understand. i’ve tried tho and she tends to scream in my face and starts fights but now she doesn’t
Well, you’ve got more patience than I do, or at least than I do now, now that I’ve hit my ‘unc’ years.