So I (22F) am dating a masculine non-binary person (23nb) ‘Will’, and engaged to a girl (23F) ‘Aiko’. Aiko is good at spending time with me because I would let her date someone else if she wants, she is probably monogamous, but she supports polyamory and is okay with me having other partners. Will is dating ‘Dave’ (26M) as well as me, and Will has bad attachment issues, so he is attached to several different people, including us romantically. He almost never wants to hang out with me but says that we should hang out more, it’s kind of like ‘I don’t feel like it’ or ‘I’m too depressed/busy’ when I ask if we should hang out, but he is always open to hanging out with his friends or with Dave. He always freaks out when Dave doesn’t answer his texts but doesn’t care at all if I don’t text first.

I understand from polyamory and open relationships that Dave may be Will’s primary because Aiko is starting to be mine due to the lack of attention I get from Will, but he barely talks to me or pays attention to me, and that really makes me sad. I have tried talking to him and he just says that it is his attachment issue because Dave is leaving for the military, which he will do, so he wants to spend as much time with him as he can, but I feel sorry for him because of this and it makes me sad. I am also attached to him as well as to Aiko, but Will will hardly spend time with me even though he has a reason for it, so I feel sad for myself and for Will and for Aiko for being so fixated on Will AND for Dave because he has to leave his boyfriend.