Early game spoilers ahead so please proceed on your own terms!
I recently finished Undertale by playing through the neutral route and later the pacifist route. The entire experience was awe-inducing to say the least and I finally understood why the game became so popular.
The moment that made me shed my tears was during the fight with Toriel. As I had taken up the pacifist route back then, I kept sparing her for all my turns and attempted to dodge her attacks. Eventually I was overwhelmed by her fireballs and brought down to 2 HP before I could get to skip the battle portion of the encounter.
When I proceeded to spare her as before and witnessed her taking her eyes off me and disarming her menacing expression, I started to experience a weird emotion. I braced my heart, barely hanging on to life, for another brutal round of attacks, only to watch all the fire projectiles begin to evade me, which only amplified this unknown emotion further.
That’s when I realised what I was experiencing: sympathy for the protagonist and Toriel’s unbounded and unspoken compassion towards each other. By “sparing” her for yet another round, the protagonist was declaring that they didn’t wish to fight her, despite being brought to the verge of death by her attacks and knowing that they may not survive the next one. Meanwhile Toriel, possessing the ability to decimate the human along with sufficient motive to do so, ultimately couldn’t find it in her heart as a mother to end their life as she went on to quietly express sorrow and guilt in her face afterwards while continuing to “fight”. This scene of self-sacrifice and remorse was complimented by Toriel’s fight theme song, resembling the tone of the tragedy of fighting a battle neither one of whom wanted to fight, ending up in a stalemate.
I don’t know if there was something inherently unique about this moment, for some reason I immediately started shedding tears uncontrollably. It was as if this level of compassion and sympathy was untold of that overflowed my brain, ultimately making me feel sadness and happiness simultaneously. I ended up like this whenever I saw the screenshot of the fight or watched the recording of someone else’s afterwards and eventually this moment became special to me. Even as I was writing this post, I happened to cry 3-4 times.
I don’t know if someone else has had this experience before, either in this game or some other media, but if anyone does, I would really love to hear about it. Either way I feel like dumping this up here as an appreciation for the game dev for the wonderous journey the game made me go through.
Outer Wilds for me.
Outer Wilds is a brilliant game that you can only really play properly once in your life, as by the end you’ll have solved all the puzzles and learned all the mysteries, so I’m going to put the rest in a spoiler tag. I encourage anyone who hasn’t played it yet to do so before reading further so as not to cheapen the experience.
spoiler
People are very correctly moved by the game’s ending sequence and the message about coming to terms with things outside our control, especially the end of things (life, the universe, everything). But as beautiful and sad as it is, to me it felt more awe inspiring and reflective than outright tear-jerking.
That part for me came a bit later when I’d had some time to sit with my own feelings and could sort of re-examine the story in the context of the characters. And holy moly, it’s so tragic. You have the Nomai, bright, scientific, endless optimists who reforged their society after a horrible accident left then marooned in the star system. And just as they were beginning to get their feet back under them, they were entirely (and, in all likelihood, horribly painfully) wiped out by the Interloper, a completely external celestial body. There is literally nothing they could have done to save themselves. It’s so terribly unfair, and yet, what do you rail against? The universe? Physics? There was no malice in their fate, just bad luck.
That’s to say nothing of the smaller scale tragedies you can infer from their bones. The children playing their game in the cave. The crew of escape pod three who committed no errors but were still doomed, with nothing left to do but embrace each other. The Nomad implied to be working inside the Ash Twin project at the time the ghost matter flooded the solar system, who must have heard the sudden silence from his friends and then warped out to investigate, only to die within a few steps.
Then look at the Hearthians, those plucky, reckless, endlessly inventive and courageous people with the misfortune to be born at the end of the universe. (see the common theme?) They work so hard to explore and understand (Chert and Hornfels) and to conquer their fears (Riebeck and arguably the player character), but through no fault of their own, that day, the inaugural flight of their newest traveller, was their last. And, even though it is only in the weird metaphysical space of the Eye, we see them somehow make peace with it (try talking to “real” Chert during the last few minutes of the loop).
But you know what isn’t an ambiguous metaphysical mind space? The very last scene. As you witness the birth of a new universe, when everyone else is long gone, you at least get this last moment to witness that it is not the end. And your helmet’s visor cracks. Whatever else happened in the Eye, this at least is real and physical, and the Hatchling gets to witness the continuation for just a moment before being consumed by it.
DLC spoilers next
You can even make an argument for the inhabitants of the Stranger. Though they serve as your foes by the time you meet them, all around are clues they, in other, happier circumstances, you might have been great friends. They loved music, art, their home, and each other. The only reason they are monstrous is because they let themselves become consumed by fear until it had twisted them beyond all recognition. It’s the same fear you have to push through in order to learn the truth, and when you do, you get a glimpse of who they might have been. Which is why I think the DLC is brilliantly designed, even though not everyone was a fan of the stealth segments.
Each story is tragic in its own way, but also told in such an immensely moving and compelling manner. When I finally had the space to really put it all together, well, it did me in.
I’ve watched several friends and family play through it and even now I still choke up a bit at that final scene, your visor cracking, your suit’s HUD finally winking out, with the grand crescendo of Let There Be Light from the soundtrack swelling, and the new Big Bang expanding on blinding radiance in front of you, the proof that the journey will continue, and is no less meaningful even though your part in it is over.
As someone who also has played Outer Wilds (up to first half of the DLC), even I was left saddened when I learned the fate of the Escape Pod 3 crew. Back then I was in rush to find their spaceship so I didn’t pay that much attention to their scene, but looking back at it now hurts me way more. At least I feel good about the Nomai in the solar system having accomplished something to get themselves as well as future civilisations closer to the secret behind the Eye of the Universe that they’d take pride in before meeting their eventual demise. In fact I believe they would’ve accounted for the possibility of their species getting wiped out before the completion of their goal one way or another. That or they just do universally good documentation.
The Nomad implied to be working inside the Ash Twin project at the time the ghost matter flooded the solar system, who must have heard the sudden silence from his friends and then warped out to investigate, only to die within a few steps.
Oh shit. I never realised it even though I remember the corpse near the warp station. I guess this answers my lingering doubt about what happened to the Nomai supposedly inside the impenetrable core of the Ash Twin Project during the Interloper incident.
Personally I didn’t get the ending. I was constantly switching between the two hypotheses about the meaning of the ending ie.
- Having some deep cryptic message that I was too dumb to solve, and
- Literally the end of the universe
Both hypotheses were dissatisfactory, so I just formed my own headcanon that the story ended on the protagonist’s arrival at the Eye. Still, the part with the instruments of all the explorers combining into an orchestral harmony was mesmerising, especially with the piano tune from the Quasi-Nomai.
If you want to read my (and some others) interpretation of the ending feel free to read the spoiler. If you do not want to alter your headcanon (which I can totally understand, personal experiences are a powerful thing and as the name says: personal), just ignore it.
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The ending is the end of that universe. The eye is in a quantum superposition and what we see is similar to 2001: A Space Odyssey: an interpretation to make sense for our hatchlings brain so to say. You, the hatchling enter the eye and thereby a conscious observer collapses the wave function that was the eye.
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What you see first when you enter the eye is probably meant to show the quantum world behind reality, so to say, with the purple tornados (purple was the color of the quantum moon and the eye after all). Then you get to the forest where all the different lights symbolise the universe and its galaxies and stars. And they all go out one by one, meaning you see the heat death of the universe happening in fast forward. Then you are running alone through a dark forest and then even the forest vanishes, which symbolises the universe itself getting broken down to the bare functions where everything, even distance stops existing till only you in the eye exist, which is why you find yourself at the end of that sequence, because everything besides yourself has stopped existing.
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Then you get teleported to the second clearing, which is happening… outside of time/inside your mind/outside of existence? I think trying to nail that down is a futile task, it is all meant to be symbolical in my eyes. We are talking about metaphysical stuff here after all. It is where the new universe will be born, where you collect the other travellers. These are all being born from how the hatchling imagined them, but the lessons they symbolise stay with the hatchling nonetheless: everything ends, and that is fine; we have to overcome our fears in order to advance and be able to accomplish anything; etc.
By collecting them, you are gathering the instruments that will create the very basic fabric of the next universe. Depending on what you experienced as hatchling, that will determine how the next universe will work, physics and all.
If you managed to reach Solanum, there will be alien life in the end slide, because you experienced alien life yourself and therefore in the next universe, it will be there as well. If you managed to find the Stranger, the end slide will show inside out planets, because that artificial world changed your idea about how planets have to work and thereby that directly influences how the next universe is going to work. If you managed to finish the DLC, that will be incorporated as well. I will not spoil it, but I highly recommend finishing the DLC, the ending of it was very emotional for me.spoiler4
So, fitting to what we experienced all during the game: the eye is the quantum superposition of the next universe, so all possible futures and by the hatchling entering it, the new universe is chosen from all possible versions (including how physic laws are going to work). Then you see it being born and die in that moment, knowing that the universe and life in it carries on, a new cycle beginning.
spoiler5
So to speak: the egg of the new universe is broken and its birth happen because you were there. What would have happened if no observer were there is unclear, maybe the new universe would still have been born but life would have needed to develop by random chance, as opposed to being included into the very fabric of the universe from the start. In the worst interpretation, no conscious observer means the egg never breaks and no new universe is being born, instead being trapped in the superposition for all eternity, as no new consciousness can develop to reach it after the end of the universe.
spoiler5 gives an interesting interpretation that does make sense within the context of the ending. Instead of the player’s efforts being for naught, they help in the birth of a new universe not possible before. Unlike the initially perceived ending, it finally gives the story closure in my mind.
Yeah, that fight tends to pull the emotional strings of a lot of people. Including mine; the first time playing I accidentally killed Toriel, reloaded the save, and got Flowey mocking me. It was a bit scary, to be honest; I wasn’t expecting “the game” to remember it, let alone throw it on my face. (I loved it.)
This scene of self-sacrifice and remorse was complimented by Toriel’s fight theme song, resembling the tone of the tragedy of fighting a battle neither one of whom wanted to fight, ending up in a stalemate.
Toby Fox is great with soundtracks. Even the silence is meaningful.
For me it’s twice in Disco Elysium, although it’s more getting extremely emotional and misty-eyed. I don’t think I’ve ever full-on bawled as a result of consuming any media.
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First time was the payphone call. Second and even more impactful was the Final Dream. As someone who resonates a lot with Harry and has had troubles getting over a past love myself, the impact of these moments could be measured in megatons.
I also got emotional and close to tears talking to the phasmid, although that was more because of a sense of beauty, wonder and catharsis.
One day I’ll play undertale.
If a game has made me cry, it is probably Mass Effect. And probably entirely Kaidan’s fault.
Two games have made me cry, the first is the ending to Final Fantasy IX, the realisation of who was speaking the monologue at the end, and what that meant for that character was so well done. After 45+ hours with those characters, the emotional release, I was just bawling and I still had to go to school!
The other was What Remains of Edith Finch, which is an absolute masterclass in storytelling. Each scene in that game is a mini dark humoured tragedy of each of Edith’s family members, that culminates in the revelation of Edith’s impetus for this journey through her family’s tragic history that she’s now undertaking. In those final moments of the game, after only about 4 hours of gameplay, this game grabbed at my heartstrings and I was sobbing like a baby. My partner of the time asked what was wrong and all I could say was “it’s just so sad!” Fantastic game, well worth playing even now.
Undertale’s story/game/music symbiosis is masterfully crafted. I had the exact same reaction as you.
I cried in a lot of games :D if my memory would let me remember a story of that, I’d share it, my memory is bad that way. Recently in the dreamfall trilogy, but I can’t recall the exact situation anymore.
Rdr ending had me sobbing.
Interestingly, for me it was not playing To the Moon myself the first time, but rather watching somebody else play it and experiencing it for the second time. Seeing how River tries to reconnect to Johnny was literally heartbreaking for me now with the context from completing the game.
Oh and I forgot about Rakuen. Man, fuck that game, that is no way to end a game. How was I supposed to get myself together afterwards. You should play it!
