Every negative emotion I have, I’m told to go to therapy.
Negative emotions are human!
Why have we, as a society, grown to fear them?
My question then is, who helps those people?
If it is not the job others to attempt to “mend” broken hearts, whose is it?
Therapy isn’t for negative emotions. It’s for poor reactions to negative emotions.
If you’re told to go to therapy for “every negative emotion you have” it sounds like there’s more going on here than you just having them.
Great response.
I have a family member who gets angry very often. Things make him mad, I get it. The emotion isn’t bad. However, he then starts yelling at everyone around and becomes hard to be near him. Anger isn’t why he needs therapy. Yelling at those he supposedly loves instead of communicating why he’s upset is why.
You need therapy bills to economically quantify your emotional damages so that you can sue somebody for them.
Negative emotions are good for the evolutionary niche they developed for.
But when your fight-or-flight response kicks in during an exam, it doesn’t help you do the exam, but makes it even harder. To be able to function in the society we’ve built for ourselves, it’s necessary to be able to control our natural negative emotions without bottling them up entirely.
Sounds like something you should talk over with a therapist.
I’m pretty sure the sarcasm in your comment was totally lost on most people who modded you up. And just for that, have a mod point 🙂
Modded you up? Mod point? What are these?
If you get 1,000 Mod Points you become a Moderator
The Mods
I’m pretty sure the sarcasm in your comment was totally list on most people who voted you down. This includes me.
People don’t see your emotions. They see your behavior. They hear what you say, observe your actions and reactions, and from that they decide if they want to suggest therapy or not.
I don’t know if you need therapy or not because I’ve never met you in person. But if a large number of people you encounter suggest you seek out a therapist, it’s not because of anything you felt. It’s because of something you said or did. And you may be wise to reflect on those moments when they happen.
I acted out on feelings I didn’t recognize myself when I was at my worst, people told me to go to therapy. Then I finally did, and after three years I was more in touch with my emotions and more in balance with my inner world. I’m still a wreck, just a more functional wreck who no longer shouts out the shit that’s churning inside.
every negative emotion you have, someone tells you to go to therapy? I see two options: you are either having a lot of extreme overreactions that make bystanders uncomfortable, or, you are spending too much time with someone who is probably just trolling you.
Or maybe you just exaggerated a bit here
Negative emotions are human!
Sounds like something a therapist would say. Actually, the usual line is something like “if there’s a bear, negative emotions are very helpful”. (It’s always a bear; never a mugger or a giant rolling boulder. I don’t make the rules)
It’s hard to say over the internet, but either you’re in a crowd where they overuse that line, or your emotions have grown to become unhelpful in your life.
Emotions don’t have to be helpful? They just are
Healthy emotional response means you react to your environment in an appropriate way given the environment. Unhealthy emotional response means you pass out when you hear a helicopter or you can’t have healthy relationships or hold down jobs or feel good or feel anything. Emotions just are until they’re an impediment to living.
Negative emotions are human but some people need help to learn to handle them in healthy ways.
Because I went from having 4 to 15 panic attacks a month to being able to count the time between panic attacks in years.
Because my panic attacks went from being because it’s Tuesday to being because I was in situations with actual dire consequences.
Because once I learned that it served no one involved for me to bend myself into an an ill fitting shape to avoid all conflict I was able to have lasting romantic and platonic relationships (married 8 years now and have told my wife I’m glad I met her after doing all the therapy).
Because of the dozens of things I learned explicitly and implicitly through the process. Because I am still using tools offered to me. Because I am actually happier and more fulfilled than I had ever expected I could be.
I hear you. Fuck therapy. Should I go to therapy?
Therapy isn’t “just for negative emotions” in the same way the doctor isn’t just for dealing with the occasional common cold.
If you’re being told to see the doctor all the time, and you’re being dismissive of it without a reason past knee jerking, maybe hear them out? You’re positing this openly online so I think you’re already considering this.
Negative emotions are human, but often we arent well equipped to deal with them. If you can deal with them in a mature and responsible manner, congratulations! If not, therapy can get you to that point.
We dont need to journey through everything alone, often a helping hand is necessary to pull you forward.
Why do you suppose humans aren’t well equipped to deal with negative emotions? Also, why do you suppose people have so many more negative emotions than we did in the past?
I’m nearing the half century mark. I work in education. I used to work in sales and retail. I’ve traveled to most corners of the planet. I read widely. I can attest, humans aren’t well equipped to deal with negative emotions and people have so many more negative emotions than we did in the past. This is the Internet.
Also, I’m not shitting on therapy. Therapy is keeping the wheels on this bus I’m riding. That said, therapy often fails at addressing underlying causes precisely because the dreck we exist in — and are forced to wade through — drives us back to therapy.
“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted in a profoundly sick society.” ~ attributed to Jiddu Krishnamurti
It’s modern society, propaganda on TV is designed to create negative emotions with the solution of buying and consuming being the answer.
Me personally? Because I experienced childhood trauma that I had no idea was childhood trauma. All I knew was I kept losing friends in my life and had a lot of conflict and I was clearly doing something wrong.
So I decided to try therapy. Turns out, normal people communicate their problems with people around them and try to find a solution. They hold boundaries to keep themselves happy and safe.
They don’t manipulate people into doing things. They’re not overly helpful and try to fix every problem around them for every person at the expense of themselves. They don’t take little meaningless things as a personal attack and they don’t expect others to read their mind.
People didn’t want to be around me because I was overly helpful and tried to fix them to the point I was manipulating people and situations and causing harm to myself and others. Turns out when you grow up with a narcissist, even if your intent is good, you still have to unlearn all the fucked up lessons of your life.
That’s why I personally went to therapy. My life is significantly better after several years of therapy. I might even go back one day. I’m able to have deep and meaningful relationships now. Therapy didn’t make me not feel negative emotions. Actually, it forced me to. Because I had been running away from then my entire life.
Therapy is a wonderful tool if you’re willing to actually reflect on yourself.
It depends on how you manage those negative emotions. Not that you are having negative emotions.
Tbh, there’s been people who have judged me just for being frustrated or mad about something, even if I didn’t act on it. Turns out a lot of people just suck.
Sure, people don’t like to be around negativity. But have they repeatedly told you that you should seek therapy like OP?
Mmm, did they read your mind, or did your expression of your frustration warrant a response. (Doesn’t mean it’s fair. just adding maybe some nuance, but often people do suck)
