NSFW, 18+

30s, he/they, bisexual

  • 3 Posts
  • 32 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: June 22nd, 2023
  • PubSubSwitch@lemmynsfw.comtoAsk Lemmy NSFW@lemmynsfw.com•Wearing collars in publicEnglish
    2·
    3 years ago

    Personally I draw the line at leashes. But it depends what public means. In more adult spaces, especially somewhere like a club or a dance I see no problem at all. Collars are just sort of like chokers. They just look kinkier.

    To be clear I don’t think people shouldn’t be allowed to use leashes anywhere or whatever, that’s just sort of where the personal line is for me. As in if someone asked me “Hey, should I leash up my sub while shopping” I’d say “probably not”. It’s not like I’d ask someone to please remove one if I saw them.

  • PubSubSwitch@lemmynsfw.comOPtoAsk Lemmy NSFW@lemmynsfw.com•Where do you draw the line between being flirty and *flirting*?English
    3·
    3 years ago

    Have you ever been accused of being dense?

    Rude. lol. But on a more serious note, not really with regards to social contexts, no.

    [Picking up subtle signals] is a necessary skill

    Yeah, I totally agree. I feel confident that I could tell if someone is unhappy or uncomfortable with an advance like this. I’m more curious was sort of things folks feel are acceptable first steps towards being more physically intimate. Take this intentionally contrived example (only for illustration), you have a friend who you’ve never touched then one day you kiss them on the lips when you say good bye. Obviously this crosses a line and I think most people would agree this is a bad idea. It’s not even about judging their reaction at that point, it’s like “why the fuck did you think that would be okay?” Compare that to giving a friend a hug goodbye. A much more acceptable “first step” towards being more physically intimate with friends. Many people hug their friends goodbye. But still, just to be explicit, you should still make sure they feel comfortable. If they seemed off or hesitant then they might not like giving hugs and you shouldn’t press them to.

    I’m mildly concerned that you have not picked this up from pop culture

    Media typically depicts highly unrealistic situations. That’s what makes the stories interesting. So no, I don’t really follow what you’re getting at by that.

    Violating people’s personal space and wishes for respect is something only children can practice with no consequences. Just remember that.

    Yeah, that’s why I’m not just jumping into doing this. I thought the post was pretty clear that I’m both aware of and want to avoid the risk of coming across like a creep. Maybe you mistook me when I said I’m hesitant to even ask friends if they’re open to this (for fear of seeming creepy) and thought I want to immediately give them a peck on the cheek or something? If so, then no, definitely not! I’m well aware of potential consequences and even apart from consequences I just don’t want to make my friends uncomfortable. I’ve had a friend in the past who really crossed some lines in that regard.

    I guess I can just look at what that guy did and avoid it lol, but with him it was more like he was trying to get my wife to cheat on me with him and he was emotionally manipulative and abusive (saying he was suicidal so she’d call him but doing it everyday, etc.). So not really the most relevant example to be honest.