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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 24th, 2023

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  • Strokes happen, and a lot more often than we know. Like it’s funny, but brain damage is well within the realm of possibility. It doesn’t change anything - or, I guess, I suppose it does change things, often permanently, so that might be one very real, very possible reason.

    Probably not good to chalk it up to “my partner left me because they had a stroke”. I, personally, would say it’s healthiest to land on “there were differences between both of us that somehow disabled healthy communication” because that’s most often reality. That being said, until there’s a pattern and you still can’t tell what you may be doing, I wouldn’t worry too much about you doing something worth changing. If there is a pattern, however, that’s probably worth looking into.

    I’ve dated people who have this pattern. It’s not really their fault. One person was neurodivergent (i am too) and I’m avoidant af. I basically lied and ghosted them for a few months, claiming needing space, which was true, but it helped me see the issues I had with their person, the incompatibilities that I couldn’t get over. They bothered me deeply, but I decided they were not something about them I could emotionally handle or would be in any way constructive to confront them over. To this day, I still feel horrible that I had to do that, but saw no other way out. I’d like to think I’ve matured since then and maybe could handle it better, but it hasn’t been that long since.

    And eventually reconnected with them and apologized and we officially broke up. They weren’t happy, but thankful that I didn’t entirely ghost them. We’re still sort of friends but don’t talk much, and they seem to have found their people, which I’m really glad for.

    This story is just one, very specific possibility. From what I’ve seen in my limited lifespan, it’s probably not the only kind of situation. I’m definitely at fault too.

    Breaking up is hard. There isn’t a set way and a lot of people just don’t know how to do it. I don’t have great advice for you, but I still think empathy is the way forward for us all, including for yourself.