Glad you’re back. I sent you a message on your other account. I hope you find what you’re looking for in these communities. I liked your video and I also listened to your music a little bit. I admire anytime someone shares something they create, especially if its something they’re passionate about.
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Joined 15 days ago
Cake day: July 27th, 2026
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Yeaaaaah I can’t stay still very long lol really though, I’ve been researching bottom surgery for years, even before I knew I was going to transition. So after I got my fertility preservation and hormone therapy figured out, I knew that getting the ball (heh) rolling on it was going to be one of my big goals, along with finishing electrolysis and voice therapy. I’m going to be getting it like almost exactly on my 1st birHRTday but its just because I’ve already done so much legwork already.
It’s been interesting how I’ve been feeling now that I have a date. I thought that maybe the dysphoria would alleviate knowing that there’s an end to it, but that wasn’t really the case. I’m a little worried that it’ll actually just continue getting worse in the lead up. However, I feel much more settled in my identity and I’m actually pretty proud of myself for continuing to pursue it and advocate for myself. Like the imposter syndrome has almost disappeared.
I hope your appointment goes well and that your timeline works out!
Are you on top of hair removal?
Nooooooo lmao my surgeon said it isn’t needed, they cauterize the follicles during the surgery. They said the most I should ever notice is an occasional hair on the dilator but the get like at least 95% of the hair. I’m getting electrolysis on my face but my electrologist is around me so infrequently that it would take years to get the hair completely removed.
Congrats on getting to the t-minus 1 month mark! Keep me updated on how its going if you’d care to :)
Yea I had a mental breakdown when I was told it’d be 3 years. I’m glad that I was able to get myself together and figure out another option.
I can’t wait to explore with my wife. We haven’t had sex for over a year because my dysphoria became so bad. So literally any improvement whatsoever in that department will be welcome. We’ve also talked about and are super excited to try the same things you mentioned.
I hope your revision goes well! Thank you so much for commenting :)
Thank you for sharing! I have some friends offering to meal train for me and I may take them up on it. Others are willing to hang out so I’m sure it’ll be nice to have some human contact and give my wife a break from doting on me for weeks on end lol I have actuay lost about 20lbs since starting hrt and I’m pretty active now. I definitely plan on going on more daily walks leading up though.
I really appreciate the tips :)
Also, I may be weird, but when my skin is shaved and super smooth, skin-on-skin contact feels freaking amazing! I don’t know why or how, it just does!
Def not weird, it’s literally the best.
Aaaah I live for window euphoria. It hides the facial hair shadow and blemishes on my face so Ican just be like “damn I’ll be fine as hell once I’m done with electrolysis”
3·3 days agoI also have curtain bangs, and I too have recession on my temples. I would love to cut my bangs shorter but i struggle with them not covering the thinner spots of my hairline. I almost never put my hair up for that reason either, even when I’m working and it’s over 100°F outside.
I completely understand how insurmountable it feels to unlearn a lifetime of behaviors. I’m about twice your age but we’re at similar points of our transition I believe. I’m about 8 months on hrt and have been out and presenting full time as a woman for about a year and a half. I wish that I had the presence of mind to have started when I was 19 and the grief of having missed out on my 20s as a fully actualized woman is hard to grapple with. Impossible at times. But as I’ve said before, I am extremely proud of where I currently am now, and what is still left to attain.
I don’t say that to dismiss your feelings of falling behind or having to relearn a new set of behaviors. Instead to just exemplify that, although your situation and life is unique, we all are out here contending with very similar feelings and experiences in one way or another. And any time someone can exemplify that there is a pathway forward, that is a win for all of us.
Edit: I’m glad you got my message and that it helped. 🫂
It’s not difficult once you get used to the process and how it feels. I tuck pretty much every waking second as I have really bad bottom dysphoria. I learned from a wikihow lol and my tip is to wear two pairs of snug panties with a sturdy elastic waistband. I never use tape or a gaff and I am perfectly fine going out in leggings or booty shorts.
Quick addition: outside of the times when I use the bathroom and have to retuck, I can mostly forget that it’s there. If I’m not tucked, I am hyperaware that it exists all the time.
You know your body better than I do. But I just think that a couple days is way too early to notice or be concerned about any long term changes or consider changing doses. It takes weeks for the medicine to equalize in your system. That being said, sertraline and SSRI’s in general have a well known side effect of diminished libido.
Hey girl, just wanted to chime in with a thought that you can feel free to take or leave. Have you considered that your inability to see your features as feminine is caused by internalized transphobia? I only say this because it was a major major hurdle for me early in my transition and I still find it pops up every now and then. I don’t mean that you’re being transphobic in the least. But you mentioned in your other post about you mom making comments about people getting surgeries looking weird. That type of comment is transphobic and I’m sorry that you’ve been subjected to that. I suspect that comments such as that, and the general way that trans fems are mocked or made caricatures of, are heavily influencing your perception of yourself. This in turn making your goals seem unattainable. I struggled for years with that and delayed transitioning because I never thought that I could live up to this idealized image of myself. And honestly, I won’t. But us trans women take the already incredibly high and arbitrary standards of beauty that cis women are expected to abide by, and super charge it. So it’s okay that I am not going to hit my ideal goal, because it is completely unrealistic even for cis women. I’m not going to change the size of my shoulders, but I can adorn them with beautiful flowery tattoos that help draw the eye away from the shape. I have been pleased with the progress I’ve made and I’m excited to see where I’ll end up with time and persistence.
Now just a couple tips I have which are just based on the photos you’ve shared, hopefully some other folks could chime in as well. I think you have absolutely gorgeous hair so I would suggest, if you’re able to get your hair styled, to add some layers and some face framing. I get majorly dysphoric about my face when I tuck my hair behind my ears as it feel like it puts my jawline and chin forward and they are a focal point. Having some face framing helps soften and round out your face.
I also love your style, it is very very similar to mine. I adored the outfit you got from vinted the other day with the gray top. Honestly no notes.
Lastly, I think attitude, confidence, and posture signal femininity way more than the specific dimensions of your shoulders or hips. No one is out here with a set of calipers taking your body measurements and judging your gender based on that. Human bodies come in a wide variety of shapes. But if you’re walking around in a dress with a cute pair of flats, a purse, a few accessories, and a bad bitch attitude, it reads feminine more than your shoulders would read masculine. Or cut the neckline out of an old sweater, drop it over one shoulder with a bra strap showing, I’d bet you’d start to like the shape of your shoulders then. At least, it works for me.
Lastly lastly, I started girlmoding far away from where I lived. My wife and I would take a weekend trip where I would only pack my girl clothes, and so I had to live in them. After being out in public wearing a cute outfit around people I’d never see again, I gained the confidence to bring that to where I live. And its funny because looking back, the outfits that I wore and thought were so taboo are so tame compared to what I wear now. And now I purposefully wear outfits that are so in-your-face at family gatherings, just to smear it in the faces of a couple family members that refuse to acknowledge my transness. I’m a spiteful bitch.
I hope this helps, or at least some of it. Or maybe none of it I dunno. But regardless, I hope you acknowledge how incredible you are for even taking this journey. It is not an easy road to travel at all. There is pain, embarrassment, vulnerability, and danger at every turn. But it is still worth it. You gave yourself a chance to find your happiness and comfortability in your own skin and that is an amazing gift, because you deserve to be happy.
7·5 days agoNoooo my wife very much views me as the same person. Just less hidden and more accessible. This has always been part of who I am, it’s just now we know what to call it and I’m doing something about it. It certainly takes her a while to adjust to new developments but I think that’s to be expected. We still have some pre-transition pictures around still.
Last words from me: staying alive is more important than having a sex drive.
I would like to emphasize this as well.
Hi! I was on Sertraline for several years. I started at 25mg a day and slowly ramped up to 125. It was way before I transitioned so I can’t speak to any changes I felt due to HRT. I feel like it helped me round out the peaks and valleys of my anxiety and depression so that I could at least function and try to institute some positive coping strategies without cratering into a puddle of depressive goo. I had several weeks of onset where it just felt like I was literally floating and extremely disassociated. This subsided as time went on but would come back if I ever missed a dose.
Libido wise, it didn’t really effect my desire too much. It helps that my wife was a smoke show (still is but used to be too), but I understand what you mean when you say the sensation has dropped. I sometimes wouldn’t be able to orgasm for hours. Overall, I think you definitely need to wait for it to normalize in your system before you can really notice the effects of the sertraline specifically. I haven’t been on it for a long time but I think like some of what you’re experiencing could also be due to HRT. In my experience, that initial onset was so wacky that it’s hard to pin anything down as being specifically caused by the medicine. Hope this helps :)
Awww, that’s soo sweet! I need to get better at getting gifts for people.
Make sure to update us on your haul on tuesday!! :)
Yea at least with my facial hair, I feel better each time I have an electrolysis session. I’ve definitely grown addicted to the results, even if it is slow going. I can only do 2 hours a month since my electrologist is only around for a week at a time each month. I’ll definitely keep y’all updated, I’d like to do a total review of my overall experience at some point.
Girl truuuu lol a time machine would do wonders! I had a viewpoint before I actually started transitioning where I was like “I know that if I ever do transition, I am absolutely getting bottom surgery”. So it helped that the decision was pretty much already made. What did surprise me is that I was about 98% sure that I just wanted a minimal-depth procedure. But I was never able to feel 100% in that decision and because of that, I forced myself to reconsider my rationale and I realized that I was leaning more toward convenience rather than what I actually wanted. So I’m now getting PIV and I’m at 100% with it. In that way, I’m kinda thankful for my mental breakdown when I was looking at a 3 year wait since it forced me to think about alternatives.