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Joined 29 days ago
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Cake day: September 25th, 2025

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  • Depth loss is generally permanent, though width loss is not. You a should ask a gyno or your surgeon about it, but generally I’d say don’t push it too hard to try to regain depth, it may just cause more damage and pain. But definitely don’t stop.

    You’ll regret it later if you lose all of your depth and need surgery to restore it which can be expensive, hard to find without long wait lists, and may even be illegal soon.

    You can try dilators that aren’t as wide to reduce pain and give up some of the width for now. It will be painful and take time and patience to regain, but if you think it’s going to help you actually do it, that might be an option. Losing depth is a big issue, though. Try not to let it go if you can help it.

    I know depression can make it difficult. Try to reward yourself for doing it. Get some ice cream or your favorite desert for afterwards or something like that. I don’t have sex with people with penises usually, but I plan to keep my depth as long as humanly possible just to feel healthy and feel more like a woman. Try thinking of it not in terms of what people want to use of you. It’s your body. It’s part of you. It’s not just a fancy fleshlight. 🫂


  • Yeah that’s the issue…too many for anyone to ever want to read and my inability to pick just one as they’re all “top-tier” thanks to the AuDHD combo. 🤣

    It’s just ironic that the meme is using a question that someone like me can’t answer in meme form in a forum for someone like me, so great job to the OP there. Reminds me of the horrible looking socks that the horrible Autism Speaks org sells with thick seams not only in the toes, but down the side (which I’ve never seen before), despite one of the stereotypical major things that Autistic people can’t stand is bad socks. Just so ironic as hell that I dont know if they are making a point with them or more likely just dont understand Autism at all since they’re just around for the money and making parents feel better about being bad parents rather than helping Autistic people. <\rant>


  • Welcome to the club. I knew mine was curly since even short it’s always been that way. But I need a ton of products to keep it under control, especially in humid conditions. Hair oils and a very wide toothed comb. Maybe something with some hold if it’s windy ate what I use for the everyday. Also a good conditioner for curly hair and don’t use it sparingly.

    SheaMoisture is a good relatively affordable brand for curls. Their deep moisture conditioner works well and the scent isn’t overwhelming or overly artificial like many hair products. Their curl smoothie works for the flyaways but is a stronger scent, but you use it sparingly. And it’s mostly coconut scent. It isn’t strong hold like hairspray so looks natural.

    For oils, I prefer a plain as possible argan oil without added scents, but most contain a lot of silicones which can be less effective. Last longer, and look less oily, but also leave residue and don’t moisturize. They’re more for immediate effect than natural, treatment. Bonus if they have biotin, keratin or other treatments to keep the hair strong and not as frizz-prone.

    But yeah, curly hair takes a lot more effort than straight.










  • It’s nice to have a GUI for those things sometimes rather than a command line for everything. If you’re doing things right, your daily login shouldn’t have access to modify system settings or read sensitive logs. But troubleshooting requires that often and ls, vim, cat, tail, etc., can become cumbersome compared to a GUI file manager and proper GUI text editor like Kate or Gedit.


  • Fascism requires enemies and you have to pick small groups of people to declare as enemies or you’ll end up with too many people fighting back. We trans people are just the latest.

    Problem is that the scope of transgendered people is much larger than most people realize due to us having to hide for most of history. There’s a reason that estimates a few decades ago were under a hundredth of a percent, current estimates are around 1%, and if you look just at gen Z who mostly are adults and teens now (not “children who dont know any better”) with much better education and ability to be “out” in their age group communities it’s closer to 5%. If gen Z is 5%, then so is every other generation, even if they don’t know it or don’t feel safe admitting it. Which doesn’t matter as they will be more likely to strongly support their peers. 5% is a large part of the population to turn against.

    So as the policies start to affect adults like me struggling to get care because health plans not under the jurisdiction of state insurance commissioners even in progressive states (basically all “employer-funded plans” which most employers now use) and corporate inclusion policies have decided to comply in advance to cut trans care and inclusive policies not just for children/teens, but for everyone, as they know that’s next, we’re ending up with finding care not just taking a few years of waiting lists, but nearly a decade, or being just impossible to get unless you are very wealthy and can afford to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash. I’m still using my old name at work because I’m not safe to change it in my mid-level position. And we actually still have an LGBTQ+ ERG unlike most very large companies. But it only takes one prejudiced person up high to get you blackballed and they’re all feeling empowered right now.





  • Despite living with one arm, Jess doesn’t see herself as disabled, saying the barriers she faces are societal.

    Actually, this is what disability is all about. It’s not that people can’t complete tasks or take care of themselves, it’s that society doesn’t provide the same tools to disabled people that they provide to so called “able bodied” people to allow them to complete those tasks.

    It’s the trope of the single grocery store that everyone goes to, but the person in a wheelchair, but otherwise able, can’t use because there’s a curb. So, suddenly they can’t feed themselves. It’s not that they are unable to feed themselves, it’s that they can’t access the food without assistance and thus are “disabled”. As soon as a ramp is installed they are no longer “disabled”, just differently abled.


  • I’d say change that to treatment rather than cure.

    And add the fact that it’s nearly impossible to get regularly due to what is now obviously intentional shortages and the strict controls combined with PBMs restricting the ability to shop around for places with it in stock. So you can’t set up a regular reminder to take it or even actually take it regularly even with a reminder.



  • Yeah the switchy operas are the best, if rare. I fortunately have recently had bottom surgery, so yeah, I’m glad I don’t need to deal with that anymore. Still recovering so not entirely sure how things are going to go, there. But I also have a lot of trauma, from the typical what it took to get hard and people not understanding it wasn’t directly tied to interest in sex, as well as some things testosterone and male gender role expectations caused me to do (not sure some if it wasn’t actually rape, but just not classified as rape in our culture), as well as some things bad dommes did to me (almost feeling like revenge for being essentially raped their whole lives, but not called rape). I’m hoping this change will allow me to start over in addition to helping with disphoria as well as allowing me access to some femmes who don’t like penises at all for sex and leading to more of that operatic sex that I feel is at least slightly more common when no penises are involved even if I was already at that point in how I had orgasms, but many people were unwilling to treat me that way just because of that hunk of flesh. Lol