• FreshLight@sh.itjust.works
    112·
    10 months ago

    That is by far the shittiest version of the “which pill/superpower/xyz ?” that I’ve seen.

    “No more fat”, “Have many followers” and fucking “Increase 5cm height” nearly gave me an aneurysm. This meme is a good pick for the community.

  • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
    33·
    10 months ago

    1 & 2 are the same pill, unless 2 also stops you from putting on muscle mass which would be a real negative. In the same vein, “no more fat” taken too literally will just kill you, as humans need at least 4-5% body fat to live.

    If you read them kindly “dont gain weight from eating” means you will burn fat just day to day, eventually hitting equilibrium. “No more fat” means you won’t gain fat, so you can just eat excessively and youre at equilibrium. Neither affects you at a calorie deficit, and both do the same thing at a calorie surplus.

    • LeadersAtWork@lemmy.world
      6·
      10 months ago

      Super strong likely means mass and/or density, which means more calories needed to maintain. Unless it’s some magic. Either way, that and money means you can eat until you’re happy. The only two pills I’d want out of those given.

      • bizarroland@fedia.io
        2·
        10 months ago

        1 is much better all around, assuming that they mean you “instantly drop to an ideal body fat percentage” and not “all of the fat on your body disappears forever”

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
      2·
      10 months ago

      Yeah, “Don’t gain weight from eating” would mean that any dieting you do would be permanent. You lose 1 oz, that 1 oz is gone forever.

      Super easy to lose weight that way, but also, potentially risky in that you could unintentionally diet away all of your body fat and not be able to replace it.

      Even if you’re a consistent overeater, you’re going to have days where you can’t hit your target and lose more weight.

      Sounds more like a curse than a blessing.

      You’d be lucky to make it to your mid 60s unless you started out very overweight and didn’t try to crash diet your way to “normalcy”.

    • tiramichu@lemm.ee
      2·
      10 months ago

      The way 2. is written is basically a death sentence.

      What they presumably meant is “never exceed your ideal weight no matter how much you eat”

  • shneancy@lemmy.world
    31·
    10 months ago

    1. feels like a trap, once you burn through all your fat you’ll be impossibly unhealthy

    2. is a trap too, if you stop gaining weight from eating then you might trap yourself in the same situation as above

    3. unless you hunt for food, bad idea

    4. decent option, but it doesn’t mention if there’s any pain during the growth period

    5. good option, as long as you have control over your strength

    6. very bad option, sounds nice but you will go insane

    7. doesn’t say if online or IRL, having many followers IRL is not desirable

    8. dangerous, erasing any meaningful memories is dangerous

    9. the only good option with no consequences i can think of. i’ll take 3 of those

    • Avicenna@lemmy.world
      5·
      10 months ago

      Mostly agree, easily can reduce it down to 4,5 modulo fine print. I don’t agree with the last if a lot of money means billions and if you want to keep it all for yourself. Wanting to own billions is a mental disease imo.

      • shneancy@lemmy.world
        6·
        10 months ago

        oh nah lol, i’d just keep a decent amount of money to live comfortably + bit extra for the occasional adhd “new hobby” shopping spree. if “a lot” means billions, the majority of it i’d most likely donate to charities or give away to friends and random people, i have no desire to hoard wealth

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
      1·
      10 months ago

      Except how do people generally get money from taking pills? Hint: it’s not often because they are happy with the results.

      • shneancy@lemmy.world
        2·
        10 months ago

        i don’t think a pill can give you more followers either (not without first setting up a cult and/or a drug enterprise)

  • Allero@lemmy.today
    24·
    10 months ago

    That calls for a monkey’s paw

    1. There’s literally no more fat in your body. Your cells burst, you die immediately.
    2. You’re not able to gain weight, but you still lose it. Every time you sweat, breathe out, go to the restroom - you lose weight. In a matter of month or two, you die from exhaustion.
    3. Now you can’t buy groceries and really anything you want or need and are forever reliant on others to provide you with anything you didn’t yourself produce.
    4. The height increase is achieved by all your organs instantly extending, causing internal injuries and disabilities and now many physical stresses can kill you.
    5. You’re so strong you cannot adequately measure it, and have to be very careful not to break everything around you.
    6. You’re always happy. You’re never able to grieve, or reflect, or do anything. You’ve lost any reason to progress, or even really sustain yourself. You die in bliss on the streets.
    7. Followers are invading all of your personal life. They doxx you, follow you everywhere, try to document every moment of your existence. You cannot have peace and solitude ever again.
    8. You forgot your ex. You also forgot every good moment in your life you ever had together, and are left wondering what is that void in your brain. You will never know what happened. But someone, somewhere out there who is your ex will.
    9. Inflation came strong, and now everyone has millions upon millions of dollars. Too bad they’re only worth a few rolls of toilet paper.
    • Kuma@lemmy.world
      5·
      10 months ago

      This is what I thought too when I read them, the last one (money) was the only one I didn’t see any problems with. It made me think about the post about picking a superpower and the first comment was your side effect for using it but this was the other way around, pick your side effect haha

    • JcbAzPx@lemmy.worldEnglish
      5·
      10 months ago

      There are people who cannot grow or simply don’t have any fat cells. It’s a surprisingly debilitating condition, but you don’t immediately die from it.

      • Allero@lemmy.today
        4·
        10 months ago

        Fats are a normal component of any cell membrane, and if we’re talking no fats whatsoever, there would be no membrane to speak of.

        It’s not just about the storage cells.

  • wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
    17·
    10 months ago

    1 is the monkey’s paw answer and a trap. Fat is necessary for survival. Fats literally make up the outside of every cell in your body.

    2 is still dangerous, because it might just be tapeworm eggs.

    Is 3 just a servant who shops for you? Or is it just that you are no longer addicted to compulsive shopping?

    4 Will cause you the most agonizing pain of your life as virtually every bone and muscle gets ripped apart and re-knit, and as someone who’s 6’4, it has its upsides, but having literally everything made for people shorter than you REALLY sucks, from doorways and light fixtures, even to rollercoasters which nearly remove your legs because of awful design (or just won’t close over your shoulders)

    5 is nice. Go with 5. It’ll be painful, but potentially worth it in a pinch, as long as it also grants you control of that strength.

    6 is another trap, since small amounts of stress are actually really important, and in order to be constantly happy, your brain would lose the ability to feel it unless it continually increased the dopamine drip. Eventually, you would kill for the ability to stop.

    7 I mean, sure, if that’s what you want. Would be nice to know what kind of followers? Are they going to be religious and try to pull a Life of Brian on you?

    8 is the worst, because you have no control over the extent of the memory wipe. This is existentially terrifying

    9 is the safest, but then you go and read that post about why winning the lottery means you’re fucked.

    The surefire safest calls are probably 9, 7, and 3, since they wouldn’t actually affect your body, unless you’re the kind of person who likes playing roulette with the sort of pills you get for free on the street.

    • Mojtaba@lemm.ee
      5·
      10 months ago

      Umm well i didn’t need the 1 and 2 and 3 so i was about to take 7 9 5 but after seeing that i am scared to even choices anything

    • renamon_silver@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      5·
      10 months ago

      2 would eventually kill you, just more slowly than 1. Unless you never forget to eat and are always able to.

      • AA5B@lemmy.world
        2·
        10 months ago

        How. Two is just don’t gain weight. It doesn’t say anything about losing weight or about healthy nutrition. For those of us with a tendency to gain, this is all positive.

        My most pressing health concern under my control is my weight. As an adult already overweight, I would be very happy to at least never weigh more than I do now

        • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          4·
          10 months ago

          Check your weight in the morning then later in the day. It always fluctuates, with your overnight fast/ not drinking water making you lose some weight if you couldn’t gain any but could still lose weight, you’d eventually wither away.

  • RandomVideos@programming.dev
    14·
    10 months ago

    I am underweight so 2 would probably kill me. 4 would make my gender dysphoria worse. 7 would be a nightmare since i have social anxiety

    Why is there no estrogen pill?

    • Mojtaba@lemm.ee
      4·
      10 months ago

      I think because they want us to suffer. especially the underweight people because it have two pills

    • tobis@lemm.ee
      1·
      10 months ago

      5 could monkey’s paw kill you like most of the rest of these. I think 4, 8, and 9 are your best bet if you have to pick 3 and you want to survive in a non-terrifying way.