Dude was wiping down his chair more often than his ass.
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Septic masculinity
Even once is more often than never.
OP should ditch their imaginary girlfriend for another one less annoying.
80% chance it’s actually his mom who’s complaining.
Better be careful to not break both his arms
LMAO
That is savage AF!!!
I could understand if it smelled like swamp-ass (sweat) from sitting there too long, especially in a chair made of faux leather, but it shouldn’t smell like poop.
The trick is to wear clothes when sitting in it.
Even sitting naked shouldn’t smell like fecal matter…
With enough farting, it probably would.
Those Must be the smelliest ones on the face of the earth
i legit have this issue, though with pants not the chair
for some ungodly reason my farts are just miserable in precisely such a way that it clings to the fabric and somehow creates an even worse smell (presumably reacting with something in the fabric? lord knows). Like it doesn’t even take a full day to build up, i hate it.
Or have a chair napkin if you’re gonna insist on being naked
Now that’s going too far
Exactly, also faux leather is my bane that stuff is the worst. The texture is awful
It really makes my anus sweat
You know it smells bad when body-pillow comes alive to complain.
I also judge this guy.
I also judge this guy’s dead wife.
I also judge this guy’s fake girlfriend
I’l been sitting in the same (mesh) chair for >15yrs (Aeron) and have no such problem. That the OP’s response to the GF’s complaint is anger says more about them than they intend.
This makes me angry
Chill! This is a common problem that must people have.
Being angry? That makes me even more angry!
Friendly reminder, wiping your arse with dry paper is not sufficient to clean it following a dump run.
A bidet (european style) is best.
no itchy/smelly bumhole ever again
Bidet crew checking in.
Mines got hot water. I don’t mean that it’s got a pipe for hot water, and you have to wait forever for it to warm up. I mean it’s got a water heater built in. And a heated seat. And a hot air blower… dryer? Butt hair dryer? It’s nice, especially in the winter.
Clean your butts, people
I’ve got a cheaper, tap-cold only version (mainly because that’s the easiest to install without running new plumbing or electrical in that particular location). Honestly the cold water isn’t so bad. It can even numb things up if you’ve been dehydrated and launched a particularly stressful cannonball.
Having tried simple bidets in both warm, cold, and neutral-ish climates, I find that cold water bidets seem to stiffen the poo bits and make it hard to actually get them off your butt esp since they stick to the hairs. You and I might be talking about different levels of cold, though.
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So you know that ice cold water sprayed into your ass can give you brain freeze, right?
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what brand? i tried a biobidet and was horribly disappointed with the water strength compared to my cold non electric
The vivohome with knob, not remote.
Pressure is great, too much actually, depending.
I got it because it was the cheapest one with all the features, and in fact is even cheaper now than when I bought it.
It’s been going strong for 3 and a half years now
A proper diet would also help. Failing that, I just take a shower right after, as you put it, a dump run.
I use a portable bidet. It is a rubber squeeze bottle. I use it to wash my asshole and a little toilet paper to dry.
The thing paid for itself many times over in toilet paper saved.
I like the idea of a bidet anywhere I go, as I feel like a literal disgusting caveman when I can’t use one.
But I feel like a portable one used in a public restroom would make me want to deep clean it every time I use it, and you kind of can’t in public. Also what’s it like to sneak it into a restroom discretely?
It is literally a small bottle with a folding spigot thingie. I do clean mine with soap and water every once in a while, but it is kinda hard to get dirty.
If you can’t afford one, or rent, or wander around, travel bidets are about $20-$30 and are a water bottle with a hook-shaped wand-spout and an air valve.
My proctologist has a personal vendetta against wiping, and I messed up my piles from ages of wiping too hard. Bidet and dab to dry.
i uh, i don’t think it’s normal to have an itchy and smelly bumhole, regardless of how you wipe
I guess he forgot to scratch his back as well
0% chance that guy didn’t shart on that chair.
“girlfriend” Ha yeah right dude
I know a flabby, sweaty, unhygienic dude with a diaper fetish who also RPs as a baby (???) on Discord who’s been with his girl for about a decade. The world can surprise you, lol.
She’s into the diaper play, one assumes there’s just not a lot of options or the grosser the better
Yeah, certainly… or she has no sense of smell (or sight, or ears cause he’s somewhat annoying). 😅
He means his mom.
He should do anal tightening exercises every other day to cut down on all that feces leaking out.
Nah, just needs the right butt plug.
Simple case of bad biology luck or bad diet, resulting in smelly farts, combined with not standing up. Switching to a mesh chair would do wonders.
Standing up and eating better would also work I assume
Or just being plain nasty.
Can’t always help what you smell like.
Washing always helps
Often, yes, but if you think it helps everyone for more than a short period of time, you’ve never worked in a medical field. Smell is not always controllable, feel sympathy for those less fortunate biologically.
You’re giving this guy wayyyyy too much benefit of the doubt.
I do think it is possible even with decent hygiene for years of farts to absorb into certain fabrics
What in the holy mother of skidmarks is happenin here
Remember this from the Tony Hawk soumdtrack, what a classic!
