It felt for a few years that things were looking up. No one really cared when I transitioned, people were largely supportive.
Since 2016 though, things have been in a rapid decline. I’m exhausted, I feel like I have a target on my back, and I’m terrified.
I want to move but the economy is crashing and I have some semblance of stable work now. Not enough to save for a move, not enough to get above water on the debt my ex left me, but enough that hopefully I’ll be able to keep paying rent and keep food in my fridge.
I just can’t imagine another three years of this.
It feels like we are in a tornado right now. I guess what I want is for the storm to stop. I know that many things are broken and will need to be rebuilt, but it feels like we can’t start that process while the winds are raging.
I don’t like that analogy because it suggests that we’re at the mercy of the forces of nature. It is their intention to make you feel like there’s a tornado outside, and you’re powerless to stop it so just hang tight until its over. But it’s just a bunch of rich people with fans and noise makers outside your window, trying to scare you inside. You have far more agency in this situation than they want you to realize. Because as long as you are busy hiding from the storm, they are busy stealing all of the value and power they can hoard. By the time you emerge, they will have claimed everything for themselves and act like you’re the problem for not liking it.