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Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago

I don't buy fortune cookies to be fucking attacked

lemmy.dbzer0.com

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I don't buy fortune cookies to be fucking attacked

lemmy.dbzer0.com

Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago
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  • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    When I was a child, my family visited a Chinese restaurant in Washington DC, and we received hilarious gag fortune cookies. Mine said “If you’re reading this, the poison hasn’t worked yet.”

    My mother’s asshole boyfriend got one that said “Some people have it, some people don’t. And you don’t.” He lost his shit. Fumed for days, and I laughed my ass off.

  • Skyline969@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    I got one yesterday that said “You will always live in interesting times.” I got a cursed fortune cookie.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      Did you at least get to meet Rincewind, Two Flower, and Cohen the Barbarian?

  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Not an attack. Pretty solid advice in this day and age.

  • PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Pfft if I didn’t listen to the judge, I’m definitely not going to listen to some dumb fortune cookie

  • erie09@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    …in bed

    • Malfeasant@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Struggling with how to read that… Punctuation would help… Are the professionals trained in bed? Or is the reader meant to seek their help in bed? Instructions unclear, fortune cookie stuck in dick.

    • d00phy@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I prefer “… in prison.”

  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    This would go great in reactionmemes too.

    • PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      deleted by creator

  • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    You know it’s bad when the fortune cookies tell you to seek professional help

  • IronBird@lemmy.world
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    22 days ago

    seriously though, it is way more effective

  • chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    People other than Chinese restaurant owners buy fortune cookies?

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