Transcription
White text on black background that reads “if you do these for 30 days you will be unrecognizable
- sleep 8+ hours
- drink 2L minimum of water a day (high pH if possible)
- get sun daily
- no sugar
- read for 30 mins a day
- workout 3x / week
- capture someone and cut their face off and sew it onto your face
- meditate for 10 mins daily
ok imma drink 2L of bleach
You will become unrecognizable.
It will, at least, kill the COVID
Pro-tip: Sodium Hydroxide would be even higher pH at equal concentrations.
The unrecognizable will already come with “2L water (high pH if possible)”. Just go for “water” with pH 14. Two liters a day will make you unrecognizable.
This “high ph” garbage is such crap. A few years back people were chugging apple cider vinegar to acidify your blood or whatever BS that was.
Our bodies regulate themselves when it comes to ph, drinking water of a certain ph won’t change that. Just like drinking juices or sodas that have citric acid don’t mess it up. Alkaline water benefits are a myth.
But if it helps you drink more water instead of junk drinks, go for it.
ACV is great for muscle cramps, though.
I remember this. There was a girl that basically ruined her jaw and teeth by drinking vinegar.
I love how the most debated thing on the list became the alkaline water. Love you, guys.
How high are PH we talking here?
14.1 would be ideal.
Sounds unpleasant
Just all the hydroxides. No positivity allowed
You lost me at meditate
Boring as fuck
I have this weird feeling that all this does is make you recognizable as someone else.
I knew there was something I wasn’t doing
Yeah I should also start meditating
Removed by mod
I did do it at one point, but the reading was more like 3-5 hours a day, and hardcore dark romance smut.
My girlfriend broke up with me because “she couldn’t recognise me in bed”. In hindsight, making her ride the handle of a knife might’ve been a smidge too far.
Really depends on the girl. I knew a girl once who wanted the grip of my gun in her. Well she wanted the other end but I believe in always treating a gun like it’s loaded. So we settled on the grip.
Whatever you are into their is someone out there into it too.
That girl is a teacher now.
Okay so admission time, that’s not really why we broke up. The cadence of the story was just better that way.
In reality, we “broke up” (reduced the number of dates we had) because we were in a poly relationship and things were becoming more serious (as in, thinking about children and getting married) with her primary, which I fully support.
The books were after her recommendation, by the way, they did unlock a few new kinks (and reinforced plenty existing ones), and the sentence “I can barely recognise you (in bed)” was indeed muttered a few times, so I was mostly truthful, but you can see why the cadence came out better in the original comment.
Timing is everything. In bed and out.
I do not know how meditating 10 min/day morphs into a Leatherface audition, but I’m hitting up my zafu right now!
ADHD brain made me skip the most important line: take your meds people
Can confirm, have takeny concerta, skipped most of it to look for the joke and only read the second from last one properly. Efficient humor consumption.
Damn! My sewing skill sucks.
Don’t give up, that just means you gotta practice. Maybe start with a child, their skin is softer and easier to manipulate.
Thank you! I’ll start practicing right away. 👍
So where does work to live fit into this?
Step 1: be born into generational wealth
All the things on the list are free. Just don’t waste time watching TV/playing video games and don’t have kids.
BRB gotta start my daily bleach warerboarding session
Is bleach a form of water?
Almost all liquids are
Ok, so read more, workout less and saw stranger’s face onto my own. Got it.
There’s only one on there that I simply can’t do.
I can’t stand the sun for long.
At least your face wouldn’t burn
