Thing are just so far away or things that I’m interested in doesn’t exist. People don’t exist here, just cars.
I don’t have enough time to volunteer after work either.
It’s just too difficult to meet people these days.
Two things have changed. First, everything has become more expensive as a result of capitalism replacing civics. Everyone is hyper-focused on profitability and growth, so capitalists abhor the idea of having a large, central space for people to simply exist without spending money. For-profit daycares have replaced playgrounds. Drive-thrus have replaced cafés and lounges. Food and coffee is fast so you can consume and get back to work. Workers venerate the grind and hustle mindset, and the rising cost of everything reinforces the need for getting paid. Parks and beaches have entry fees, and public spending on infrastructure and recreation is considered wasteful (unless the politicians can get a slice of the pie).
Second, digital connections have fulfilled the need to be social, even if you’re merely arguing with a bot through the text on your screen. We don’t need to head down to the town square or the barbershop to get the latest scuttle. You probably don’t even know the people at the barbershop. You connect with people you like, who are like you, through time and space. It doesn’t matter where you are physically, or what time of day it is, you can engage in conversations, read the latest news, share the latest gossip, or just make shit up about how capitalism has replaced civics on an anonymous internet forum.
So the third spaces have been squeezed out on both sides of the supply and demand spectrum. And I don’t see that changing without a digital pandemic, where suddenly everyone is unable to use their phones or the internet. If something like that occurred, it would recenter our lives around our communities in the same way Covid recentered our work-life balance. But I don’t think that’s likely.
Yeah I was in a bookstore this past weekend and everyone at the cafe (the only real seating area) was locked in on their laptops. Same at regular coffee shops. Labor time has fully merged into leisure time with always-available technology.
Sooo we need to blow up the internet a little to save our socialisation?
Sign me up! Give me a dozen bricks of C4 and point me in the direction of the nearest exchange building!
I don’t think that would work, and even if it did, I don’t know that it would be beneficial to society. The net benefit of the internet almost certainly outweighs the things we’ve lost or left behind.
Case in point, you and me would never even have this conversation in a barbershop. Just because we miss something we used to have doesn’t mean we need to go back for it. Nostalgia is the delusion that if something existed today, it would make us feel the same as we did.
Also: the alcohol factor. I feel awkward for not drinking if everyone else is. I also don’t want to be around noisy drunk people. Another venue of whimsy with a bar attached to it? Grrrreeeaaat.
The only two I’ve found that sorta also replace the time loss are:
Churches (that offer free food each week). I don’t like religion as a concept, but the (non-programmed) Quakers are at least focused on good causes, and the weekly potluck is nice.
Maker spaces. You probably have things that need fixed or that you enjoy tinkering with. A maker space gives you access to a lot of tools and talent.
If you are in the suburbs, both are probably still a long drive away. But combined with other errands and as useful services themselves, maybe they can fit?
I’ve had people tell me that coffee shops qualify. I’ve never tried too hard.
