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Absolutely
And I love that a few people have learned this about me.
One even once told me “Long enough for your earbuds.” It was the best answer I’d ever gotten to that question.That person is a gentleman and a hero.
This has happened to me in the worst possible way not long ago:
I got involved in a car crash (ugly thing, a truck hit me while I was in my car stopped in a traffic jam and the asshole was looking at his phone so he didn’t see the cars in front of him) and ended in the hospital.
On thursday morning, they told me that they would send me to OR to fix my broken vertebra at 16.00. At 20.00 I was still waiting and nobody had given me a reason. At 21.00 they finally decided (after I got angry) to tell me that I wasn’t going to OR due to an unexpected emergency. I’d be having the surgery instead early in the next morning.
At 11.00 of that next day I snapped because I was still waiting without any information at all and couldn’t hold it anymore so I started yelling. They knew (I told them) that I was autistic. They decided to ignore my constant request for even the slightest info to make the wait more bearable, I ended up yelling and I was told that I was acting childish.
I went to OR at 14.00 that day.
Worst time ever I’ve spent in a hospital.
that’s got nothing to do with being autistic; that’s just insanely rude!
yelling is absolutely warranted in that situation.
seriously fuck those people.
you’re already in a state of stress due to having major surgery ahead of you. unnecessarily withholding information, for absolutely no reason, would stress out anyone, regardless of wether they’re neurotypical or not.
fuck that bullshit.
Sadly, this is consistent with my experience with hospitals. The schedules are constantly in flux and no one bothers to tell the patients/advocates. It really sucks and seems unnecessary. Sorry that happened to you.
Thats the worst thing! If they just said THAT then we have the data to process!
Instead we’re left with the impression there is a static arranged schedule in place but it’s being withheld from us
What country? I experienced something similar, with the Danish healthcare system. I had to get my arm operated on, so I was scheduled to being operated on at 8 am, but due to some accidents happening on that day, the people from the accidents got moved ahead of me, as their lives were in danger. So I got operated on at 5 pm. But my case was nowhere near as frustrating as what yours sound like - the hospital personnel communicated transparently about my deprioritization to me, and I only had to wait 7 more hours than expected.
Italy. I understand about deprioritization, I really do. I don’t understand the lack of information.
Nope, that’s just awful with the lack of communication
Wait. I thought this was an ADHD thing.
Something something spectrum
It’ll be interesting if over time these diagnosis merge.
Currently, the diagnostic criteria for ADHD isn’t based on social or sensory clues so one can have ADHD and autism.
The currents stats are: many people initially diagnosed with autism also meet the definition of ADHD while people initially diagnosed with ADHD rarely have autism.
But that really does mean it’s not the same spectrum because it’s based on a diagnosis manually that only recently acknowledged one could have both.
I’m autistic with quite a few ADHD friends. What I’ve gathered from sharing our experiences is that we all encounter similar problems with everyday life, but our internal experiences (and thus probably also the underlying causes) differ so much. For example, I may go to the kitchen because it’s lunch time, but since that lunch time is interrupting my work, all of my mental energy is going towards trying to not forget the things I’m working on, which will often push out the reason I went to the kitchen in the first place. The experience I hear from all my ADHD friends is that they have new trains of thought entering and leaving their heads at all times, and those new thoughts are what make them forget their reason for being in the kitchen. Holding multiple thoughts is hard for me, while it seems to be the natural state of things for ADHD.
So, overlapping symptoms but different causes?
C-PTSD here, I know this situation also all too well: I just want to be prepared and do my best!
It’s just a human being thing. Be careful with mental health communities on the internet, they can be quite toxically exclusive sometimes.
Hahahha my hubs is adhd, i’m asd, the overlap is where we found each other long before respective diagnoses :P
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Go full robot: “Estimated timescale for the completion of this task?”. I doubt they’ll get annoyed at that, might just find it funny, or weird. no, definitely wierd.
Yes ! 🙏🏼 (I don’t know where I fit in all this, but) I have been opting more and more for sentences that mimic my mental model of things- with added sugar to make it palatable to most. My intentions are less often mistaken, I think. But more importantly I am happier. Because that’s a whole “abstraction layer”, so to say, shed off my mind
Then you get a “Not long.”
Sir I must insist on a standardized measurement scale.
I would interpret “not long” as a bad faith answer and become more aggressive.
What if I don’t know how long it will take? Trying to figure that out is a quite a bit for me, I have to stop and process what I already completed, what’s going on now, and what is left to do. A lot of these commenters are speaking as if the knowledge is being withheld from them, not as though they’re making an inquiry of someone who is already working on getting the job done and didn’t start with some previously defined end-time that they’re winding down to.
If you’re saying not long, then you do know something. Minutes? Hours?
You could give an upper bound, or even just say you don’t know.
Surely you have some idea of the timescale, even if it is wildly inaccurate. There is a difference between “you can watch me finish this” and “call me tomorrow”. Just give me your most conservative min/max duration. And if you really have no idea, say so.
The trick is to make up a deadline. "I need to get home to swap the Dilithium crystal in my lizard tank, do you think this will take longer than an hour?
I go with “Do you know roughly how long this will take? 5m, half hour, hour, three hours?”
The answer will be either higher or lower end answer so you can get a ballpark estimate.
“Just curious” seems to come across as passive aggressive.
Since when has ‘how long will it take’ been considered rude?
It depends on who you ask. There are definitely people who hear it as “this is super slow and you should be faster.”
yes. some clients say it like that to service workers :(
Since other rude people trying to disimulate started using that to mean “hurry up”. Some service workers are getting literally triggered afaik, flashbacks of really mean/cruel clients.
Unfortunately, us asking that sincerely can cause a similiar response… I do not take it personally with service workers.
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Here in the USA being in a rush is perfectly acceptable, especially in cities.
I’ve adopted “should I do something else and come back?” as a less-affronting way to ask this question. It’s not perfect, but it usually gets me decent results.
Straight up. I recently had to get my car serviced for a recall, and was told I’d be contacted when the parts came in. Fast forward a month, and I had to call them up because I hadn’t been called or anything. Turns out, the parts were already in and they just forgot about me. I was really annoyed about that, not because of the time waiting, but rather because I just hadn’t been told what was happening
Similarly, when I took my car in, I just told them I’d be hanging around the area. They took this as “needs to be done asap”, when I would literally be fine if the process took 8 hours. I’ve got my steam deck, I’m good
Sometimes neurotypicals assume you’re being needy when all you want is an accurate time frame
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This is why Medical clinics really need to adopt the automatic call system already that rings your cel phone for when your appointment draws near and actually gives you a number of how many people are ahead of you.
Like am I a coffee away from my appointment or can I go get a massage
My wife did not understand at all. Still insists that I’m just impatient.
I mean this is basically the exact same for neuro typical people, the only difference is the ability to understand the social cues.
I hate being in waiting mode (unless I’m at the location I must wait at) and it’s just hhh especially in video games. I could be doing other quests but no. I’m waiting for three other people to get here because they don’t give a fuck ten people are waiting on them.
Mfw somebody has internality and a schedule 😡
This could be in ADHD Memes, too. Or if there were a “my version of relaxing is doing things but I don’t want to get interrupted during my relax time” community, if one existed.
