Is it as many people describe? Do you have an easy or difficult time with it?
Just don’t really meet anyone I’m even curious to know better lately.
Been moving country/city a few times. Tried to make sure to always do stuff in my free time where there would be girls around. Ended up on quite a few dates!
Dating is so much fun. I love meeting strangers in this weird pseudosexual tension when you don’t know eachother and you don’t know what’s gonna happen.
Even bad dates were fun experiences in terms of meeting interesting people. And if you realize that being happy alone is better than being in a bad relationship, a failed date is no problem.
I’m waiting for some brave lonesome soul to make c/fedidate
It could be you.
I’m only one of those things at a time
It’ll exist at some point surely, surprised it hasn’t been made already.
I know this is not c/casualconversation but OP you gave me an opportunity to share the funniest dating story I have ever heard of, from first-hand experience unfortunately. This was in middle/late 2023
I… am not that great. Pretty mediocre looks, Asian guy (there’s research on this lol) in the US, and the Autism is very strong… so I only ever got 2 matches, neither of which worked out. One of them was particularly brutal because we talked on the app for a whole month, finally met in a coffee shop… and I immediately got ghosted afterwards. I think at that point (2 mo) Hinge started only showing me ppl I have already seen so I deleted the app. However
The person I talked for a month with mentioned a local arcade that I didn’t think much of. Later in 2023 I decided to visit, on 2023-12-09… and holy shit they have all my favorite games, and they even had a DDR (technically ITG) cab and a maimai cab that are basically workouts. I instantly signed up for the monthly membership (which was way cheaper than a gym) and started going there at least 3 times a week, probably for like 3-4 hours at once. That was literally what got me through the end of grad school
I still have a picture I took the first time I went of a Sound Voltex cab (6th gen, “EXCEED GEAR”) and how I got destroyed on a song I would now do as a warmup routine… which is why I knew the exact date I visited the arcade btw, the picture is timestamped
So what was I typing. No dating pool isn’t great
There are many ways to ‘enter the dating pool.’ All of them are different.
Dip a toe, make a splash, tread some water do some laps, helps to have a little cash, go outside don’t fuck with apps
Lyrics?
They are if you sing em! Just shitposting ;)
I just recently started fingerblasting a friend of mine.
That’s basically a date, right?
Congrats on the fingerblasting
It’s crazy the amount of people in this thread who found love when they weren’t actively searching for love.
Can’t force it, can’t fake it, just have to let it in. I love love and I love you.
“Dating” is bullshit. Just go about your social life and you’ll meet someone.
Dating via apps is bullshit, yes, because its people flinging themselves at a each other randomly like angry birds and hoping for a good outcome. Dating strangers in the traditional senss seems okay… but you’re right, meeting someone casually and then asking them out is the very best
Upvoted because : angry birds reference
Having a social life is the key. It’s more likely to meet someone you get along with if you keep hanging out with a larger group of people you get along with. Rather than relying on an almost random app algorithm.
Most definitely. A few factors at work here: being in a group makes it a lower-pressure situation. Also, being with a group demonstrates some degree of social proof.
Very good advice. My main addition to this advice is to accept that you may never find someone and to find a way to still enjoy life. Bizarrely it will help you find someone.
I love dating later in life as opposed to dating when I was younger. People my age are usually much smarter and well rounded than when we were in our 20s. If they have kids, they’re usually grown enough to not be annoying. I love when I hear short fat older freshly divorced dudes complain. Like homie, there is a reason you are getting the responses you do on the apps. Although I am incredibly tall and in decent shape, so ymmv.
This was my experience as well, everyone had calmed down and just staying in shape put me in the better looking bucket. Duck to swan thing, I didn’t get to feel that when I was young so it was kinda nice.
After a couple years the dating pool, last spring I was fed up with all the bullshit, so I said “fuck it, I’m done” and gave up.
Shortly after I casually met my best friend’s sister after 10 years we didn’t see each other and had a really fun time, so we started hanging out. I didn’t even see her as a “potential candidate” in the beginning until I realized how much I enjoyed spending time together. So we started dating and now we’re in a truly wonderful relationship, I can easily say the best I ever had.And I think all of this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t let myself truly enjoy someone without any preconceived goal or expectation, without that “fuck it, I’m done” moment.
Went through a nasty breakup, hit the dating apps, had a few terrible dates and then started spending more time pursuing hobbies. Made friends through hobby groups (skiing and mountaineering in my case) and one of those friends has now been my partner for over a decade.
Shared interest groups are the way to go IMO.
That’s great advice. I’ve joined a few hobby groups, made some good friends, and uhh, enjoyed doing hobbies with friends. No romantic success, but I did get out of the house and do fun stuff.
Being 6’2 at 12 then 6’4 by the end of growing did wonders for me. I’m also pretty charismatic and generally kind to everyone. The height thing as well as a mostly positive upbringing gave me a lot of confidence, which I think is the main indicator of success or failure in dating. So, I’ve never had trouble but I have always struggled with the idea that if I didn’t have a girlfriend I was a loser. That mentality led me to stay in a few pretty toxic relationships for way too long.
Somehow height didn’t work for me. It might be attractiveness; part of me also suspects something about the sum image makes me seem a little bit intimidating to people.
It did come in handy one time when a racist drunk guy was harassing a poor Korean commuter on the subway. It’s hard to quantify the ways being scary/intimidating is good for you, as opposed to the inverse.
Im always in my head about if I’m intimidating people. Particularly women if I’m taking a walk at night or on a trail. Like, I promise just because I look like an ogre doesn’t mean I am one.
Best thing about being married
Not having to date
My marriage is coming to its end, and potential dating scares me the most.
I’m sorry.
Thank you, stranger! I will be less depressed, if I have people like you in real life.
people have met through xbox online games, so anythings possible. i knew someone in college who met thier partner at the time, probably married by now through games.
Life hack!
Well, i got on some dating apps, spoke with some guys who fizzled out, had some awkward dinners, and eventually got a boyfriend. Together for 3 years now.
For specifics.
- I live in a major city so dating pool is relatively large.
- be realistic about your own looks when approaching people. I’m pretty average looking and when I approach guys who are cute but not outlandishly gorgeous I had a better time.
- some people will try and neg you during a date. It will be super obvious. It will make the date suck
- don’t stick out a bad date because of any sense of obligation.
It took me a long time to find someone who I meshed with, and who I was excited to see every day. It only really clicked when I stopped trying so hard on dates. Just… had an honest conversation.
I would rather gnaw off my own foot than go on another first date.
Neg during a date?
Yeap. Strange choice to make, I agree. But negging at any time is a strange choice.
Are you just fucking with me? ha ha, I was wondering what negging means never heard it before.
I just looked it up, so thinly veilied insults, backhanded compliments, or to attack someone’s self confidence to make them more vulnerable to hooking up with assholes kind of. I can’t imagine doing such a thing trying to pick a girl up that is incredible this is like andrew tate manfluencer type of stuff.
Im sorry, I assumed you were confused by the “on a date” part.
Extremely difficult.
I tried dating apps, but ultimately I have friends who I asked out and I got rejected.
For me the hard thing is going out and socializing. It’s just statistics; the more you go out to random places and meet new people, the more likely you are to find someone, but it drains my energy like nothing else and I also gotta gather confidence after only ever being rejected.
Turns out dating is hard, but as long as you keep being open it’ll happen at some point.
That’s basically where I sit, the emotional cost is just too great and it’s easier not to engage at all.
