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Fucking right.
What I can’t stand is the critics who say “yOu jUst WAnT tO fEel sPeCiAL.”
Bruh. Neurodiverse people are well aware that we aren’t normal. We don’t need to make up a label in order to stand out - we have stood out like sore thumbs our entire lives, yet never understood why.
Finding out a reason for our quirks, and a community of like minds, provides us a way to finally fit in somewhere. What we seek isn’t to be, “Look at me, I’m so different!” but rather, “Wow, there are all these people who are like me! I’m not alone!” What we want is literally the opposite of what such people accuse us of wanting.
It’s the epitome of neurotypicality to think everyone must want to stand out. That argument betrays just how little such a person understands our point of view.
Ayup. There’s not “something wrong with me” i’m just not designed to run in these environs.
And now i fucking know that i don’t get overloaded to the point of meltdown, i just leave.
How come I can generally not tell between an Autistic person, and a neurotypical.
Do you work in tech? Genuinely not kidding
But so what if you can’t? Hell i went 40 years undiagnosed, so it’s not just you
Nope, would be in tech if I could. Blue collar slave, my hands are almost calcified from the type of work.
Basically, Autistic people complain about how neurotypicals dislike them, and they don’t know why.
I don’t know why either, I rarely see anything dislikable about autistic people.
My guess would be, because there are many more people with strong autistic traits out there than there are with diagnoses, thanks to autism, medically, being a disorder rather than just a ‘neurotype’, and the bar to be labelled with a disorder can be rather high, and also that you are probably mostly having your meaningful or significant interpersonal interactions with people who have high levels of traits that are similar to your own neurotype.
Why is it not pissing me off? I mean, I suspect I have ADHD, but that is a different thing. So, I’d notice and be bothered, right?
Lol, special would be nice. A high likelihood of being shunned since childhood is the norm. But I’d settle for acceptance.
“Normal” is a term that should always be used in quotation marks. We are all unique in exactly the same way everyone else is.
Man there sure are a lot more exoplanets than there used to be. Sick of all these faddy new exoplanets popping up everywhere.
I am all in for people to start their treatment according to such a diagnosis if it “works wonders”. What I fear is that an era is coming where people in mass will selfdiagnose this and that and then have a reason to not put in effort. I have already seen this in university in action.
ADHD is not a reason not to put in effort. I have ADHD and I put in so fucking much effort all the time, just to do normal stuff. No one let’s us off the hook for shit just because we have ADHD. The best we get are meds that aren’t addictive to us and help a lot, but we’re treated like drug addicts or dealers for wanting, and have barriers put in the way of getting them that only really hurt people with ADHD. There’s no real benefit to being diagnosed incorrectly, so this take just pisses me off and looks like more ignorant pearl clutching.
This. It’s always been tons of effort for me, just with little results, at least when I finally broke down and first got my depression diagnosis, then went to seek more answers.
With medication and a lot of therapy, it’s now more results and paradoxically less effort as I now try to pace myself instead of putting all of my resources out there all the time.
That’s nice!
No need to take it personally if this is obviously not about you. My comment is about people who try to find reasons to not put in effort. Then you clearly state that you are quite the opposite. Do you think that your stance is general? Do you really not know the type of people I am writing about?
the idea that someone needs an excuse to not put in effort is funny
For me it is not funny.
If people feel the need to do this to get special treatment or to put in “less effort,” as you put it, then that’s a symptom of a larger issue and a failing system that’s forcing people to resort to this kind of thing. Either way, it’s never harmful to have more accessibility for more people, even if they’re not supposedly disabled.
I feel this era is already here. It’s a fight between people who are weird, weirder, and weirdest, trying to prove who has the most problems and why they believe they have this and that medical condition, and that people need to try harder to “understand” them.
Maybe I have ADHD? Maybe I have autism? I’ve never been diagnosed, and with the state of the medical system in the US I don’t think I WANT to get diagnosed due to the quality of doctors I’ve been seeing my whole life for chronic pain, and from the stories I hear from people who actually are on a “self discovery” journey.
If someone has ADHD, that’s fine. Maybe ask your personal doctor for a letter or something to show your employers. But going around telling everyone you have ADHD and making memes about “ADHD” and saying stuff like “haha this is such an ADHD thing” is not helping anyone’s case. The “normal” people (if they exist), will take you more seriously if you are more serious about a serious condition.
Those exact things you said aren’t helping anyone are exactly what lead me to introspect, ask my psychiatrist about it and eventually get an official diagnosis. I’m certain there’s a significant number of people who, just like me, would continue believing they are just a lazy failure of a person who is beyond help if not for finding others who experience similar things and convey it through lighthearted humor.
I would say as well that society as a whole is not built to accommodate or even accept people who are neurodivergent. It’s still made and run by psychopaths with no care for anyone else.
Exactly. I feel like most neurodivergent folk end up experiencing long term psychological harm, which, for many, could manifest as complex PTSD (cPTSD).
When I got my diagnoses (autism at age 14, ADHD at age 20), it was incredibly cathartic to realise that I’m not inherently broken, as I had been made to feel all my life, just incompatible with systems that are fundamentally not built for me. However, despite the freedom I felt from this realisation, it didn’t erase the harm of all those years being worn down, and even today, I frequently need to do work to avoid sliding down a spiral of internalised ableism.
Although I would note that most of the harm that we experience doesn’t come from individual assholes with power, but rather massive, complex systems. In some ways that’s better, because for many of the things that cause trouble, it’s not because someone maliciously decided that I didn’t matter, but rather an unpleasant side effect of a system that harms a heckton of people as it chugs along. In some ways, that’s worse though, because it makes it harder to push for accountability or change. There are a lot of well intentioned people who don’t question the harms caused by systems, because they don’t have the capacity to imagine a world where the systems could be built differently — sometimes they’re even being harmed by those same systems, but they believe that this is just the inherent nature of things.
Seeing how even neurotypical or able bodied people suffer due to the system being structurally ableist helps to bolster my resolve though. I think of it like how curb cuts ended up being useful for a heckton of other people beyond just wheelchair users. I feel like we’re sort of like canaries in the coal mine — resisting the systems that cause us harm is something that can benefit us, or other members of our community (present and future), but it also stands to benefit the people who are still able to mostly function whilst being crushed between the gears of the system.
Omg Yes!!
Im in software development and the current company (that i already want to leave after one year because a collegue/teamlead suddenly is an asshole, nitpick and does not communicate clearly to help me at my job!), the senior developer litterly on my first day getting to know him said: “we are are a little special. We all are not normal” as i told him about my conditions.
I HATE IT SO MUCH WHEN PEOPLE SAY STUFF LIKE: “We all have a bit autism/are hyperactive”. ITS NOT QUIRKY IT IS A DISABILITY! ITS NOT ALL SUFFERING EITHER THOUGH BUT PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUSELY!
I agree the stance is invalidating and wrong. That said highly technical jobs strongly favor neurodiverse people. I know my last job (engineer at aerospace company) had a very high percentage of neurodivergent engineers, like probably over 90% from what I could tell, including myself. Not in a subtle way either, like most of them had diagnoses already and the rest showed so many signs I don’t doubt an expert would diagnose them pretty quickly. I doubt that’s what he meant but you probably really are surrounded by neurodivergent people at work (even if they don’t know they are).
One defenetly. A few, in 2 i can see low traits, but nah not the rest.
Yeah, I’ve met neurotypical engineers, but there’s a reason we’re treated as different from most careers especially in how we interact with people and need to be managed.
I think most folks mean an expression like this to be welcoming, but it does matter in how its is said and used.
If you’re bringing your condition up to highlight specific challenges and to look for help in finding solutions, then an answer like this can be very dismissive.
I do agree that the second kind happens way more than it ought to.
I don’t even know if I’m diagnosed. My psychiatrist started treating me for it and it worked wonders so… Maybe? I’ve just never bothered asking.
I’ve had a psychologist and a psychiatrist tell me that diagnosis isn’t very important.
As in, I might be neurodivergent, but there isn’t really a specific pill for my particular brand of peculiar. I can just kinda skip past diagnosis and treat the symptoms, knowing that I may well be neurodivergent.
Might be worth asking if you get a chance. It sucks, but there are times when having a piece of paper to wave at people is useful.
However, it should go without saying that diagnosis or no diagnosis, you are welcome here. Online spaces like this can fix the fucked up systems that make us feel like shit, but they can sometimes be a small respite away from having to justify or prove ourselves to people
Yes. Diagnosed last year at 41.
“doing my nut in” is doing my nut in
That’s how I felt with autism for sure. Not formally diagnosed but to go “oh most people actually naturally and subconsciously are aware of other peoples micro expressions and do not have to conciously decide to “turn on” that part of themselves when talking to other people” and explaining some of the biggest hurdles of my developmental life was a huge relief.
Like I was getting pretty misanthropic for a bit because 1 I was getting bullied by kids and adults alike for not “just getting it” and 2 thinking most people consciously sat down and choose to be jerks and inconsiderate.
When will people realise that nobody that wonders if they have adhd does not have adhd. People without adhd do not have those thoughts, they’re blissfully ngaf about adhd. The vast majority of people being anti adhd are adhd in denial or narcissists. This projecting self-hatred is everywhere
I never thought I had ADHD until recently. About a month ago or something I was diagnosed. I have: however, for all of my life struggled apparently more than my peers. I couldn’t focus, I had meltdowns learning math and reading, (crying, yelling, shutting down ) I’m late places, Im often late to turn in work things or previously school things. After work 80%-90% of the time I feel completely numb, wasted, tired, and a little (or a lot) depressed.
The memes and the mental health awareness zeitgeist, I think helped me connect the dots where I used to believe it was just depression and a lack of motivation and or discipline and also a lack of socialization at the right ages resulting in less social skills and less self confidence.
Bless you, yeah, very similar for me.
I was drunkgry trying to put forward the idea that it’s ok to self-diagnose in some scenarios. “I have self-diagnosed I’ve hurt my knee and am self-prescribing bed rest.” is perfectly normal, why can’t it be the same for mental health!?
There are so many parents and older generations who are very unforgiving of “weakness” or lack of “self-discipline”, even if they themselves have symptoms that could be alleviated through self-care. I’m sad for older folk that they’d rather get angry and spread fear around it, and I just hate they’re trying to put off people from introspection. Good luck 💕
I really feel you on this — stuff like depression can really make it hard to tell. For me, I was doubtful that I had ADHD until I started medication for it, and that helped so much that I was like “oh yeah, I am definitely ADHD”.
I’m glad that you were able to find answers, because even setting aside the possibility of medication (it doesn’t work for everyone), the coping strategies that are useful for ADHD look quite different than for depression.
I got so sick and tired of this and dropped any engagement I had with the subject and stopped identifying as neurodivergent altogether because I felt like a fake.
How you identify is always up to you, and if you feel uncomfortable with a label, then it’s very reasonable to not want to use it. But I hope you know that you are valid, and that other people’s journeys have no bearing on that fact.
Thank you, stranger; I really needed that.
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Dig into Shire Pharmaceutical. You might find the relationship between their marketing/lobbying, the DSM-IV, and the rate of ADHD diagnosis disturbing. As things stand right now, the diagnostic criteria are vague to the point where every child meets the definition of having this disorder.
…ill leave it at this. There is a reason Shire sold their highly profitable Vyvanse to Takeda Pharmaceutical before the patent expired. If amphetamine disappeared off the face of the earth, the rate of diagnosis would plummet.
I already had you tagged as “Bad MAGA troll” and it has always held true.
What app do you use that you’re able to tag people? That looks useful — not just for flagging trolls, but also for tagging the many delightful people I talk to on Lemmy (like you!)
Bonus question as a palate cleanser after the MAGA troll: do you have any tags that are either wholesome or humorous (or both), and would you share one with me if so? You don’t need to explain the context (or the user who has that tag)
I use Voyager! That link is for the browser version, but it also has an app on the various stores. To tag someone, hold their username on the comment, and select “Edit Tag”. Doing the same to a user who is already tagged will give you a little comment icon, which links you back to the comment you originally used to tag them.
I do have a few funny tags, but none of them come to mind at the moment. Mostly, I use it for tagging trolls, bots, AI slop posters, etc… I could block them, but I enjoy being able to see them again in the future and post comments like the one above.
Can I get this flair thingy on dekstop?
? My stance on ADHD and amphetamine use isn’t political. Unfortunately, the history of ADHD is personal to me. Shire released their first amphetamine product within a few months of Perdue’s release of oxycontin. They used similar tactics to increase their userbase and bribed the same public officials.
…~10% of children in the united states either have taken or are taking amphetamine for a disease that didn’t really exist prior to the release of Adderall. This doesn’t seem fishy to you? Giving one of the most abusable psychoactives to a child is unlikely not to have an impact on their development.
The genius of an ADHD diagnosis is that it has a strong overlap with the side effects of long-term amphetamine use. It takes decades of research to prove harm, and even then it’s tricky. Still, It’s only a matter of time before it blows up into a Perdue level scandal. It’s why Shire sold their patent; it’s a liability issue.
I feel bad for the people dependent on amphetamine. Once the government cracks down on excessive and unethical prescriptions, a lot of people are in for a long withdrawal period. It took me a few years to learn how to function without it; I couldn’t have done it willingly.
There are many non stimulant treatment options for adhd
Even that has a fuckton of regulations. It makes sense to not want to give out ADHD diagnosis in countries where you can abuse FUCKING DRUGS, but in my country, stimulants aren’t even allowed under any circumstance, yet they still won’t fucking diagnose you.
Btw, if you have ADHD, just don’t bother going to Serbia. You need so many permits, and can’t use your aderall or whatever.
Thank you. Luckily in the US the attitude is almost the opposite. They’d rather be too permissive and catch all the needy, than be on the side of too restrictive and let needy people go without. Very progressive lol, and signed by the first bush… a different time…
I think it works just fine and I’m honestly proud of our disability system. Getting a diagnosis can even be made by a primary, but I think is kinda sus and most would go to a psychiatrist.
It’s even worse when one or both of your parents, as well as yourself, are all undiagnosed ADHDers, and the parents act as though you’re going through a personal failing and need to “get your head in the game” or “just concentrate”, even though in their past they were exactly like you, while they believe they’re completely typical, which also sets an artificially high barrier to actually trying to convince them it’s not simply a lack of willpower.
