My memory is run by RNG, it’s complete chaos and i have no control over it. Importance of something doesn’t matter either.
I remember entire episodes that happened when I was in elementary school.
Some of my friends don’t even remember very well that we were in the same elementary school, but in different classes.
I can remember a lot of very specific details about some things, but sometimes I can’t remember some basic words in my mother tongue…
Yeah i can forget words in my native language as well. Though that’s not long term memory issue, just recalling on command issue. Your long term, episodic memory is rather good. I completely lack that episodic memory and just retain rough gist of the event, if anything at all.
Sounds familiar. I would say most long-term memories I have are of traumatic nature. I have some good ones, sure, but I guess not many. I also remember random unimportant stuff sometimes. I would say I remember extremely little of my childhood and teenage years. 20s I remember a bit better, but much less than, say, my partner.
My father made it into a thing with his whole “how don’t you remember?? There’s something wrong with you”, because his long-term memory is very good. Mine is like my mother’s, I’d say. Anyway, once my partner said “how don’t you remember??” exasperated when describing a person we both knew, and that alone made me cry, lol. (In that case, it turned out they misremembered the name, so it was a misunderstanding instead of my memory.) It’s not like I choose not to remember. I don’t mind that much, but when someone nags me about it, it does bother me.
Yeah i hear you. Nagging about it, “you’d remember if it we’re important” or " you haven’t made any memories" got under my skin as well. Though last year i finally found an answer to that, for me it’s SDAM(severly deficient autobiographical memory).
Studies regarding it. https://sdamstudy.weebly.com/what-is-sdam.html
And more descriptive article regarding it. https://whattospeak.substack.com/p/what-is-sdam
https://aethermug.com/posts/i-do-not-remember-my-life-and-it-s-fine
Maybe it will be helpful for you.
This is really interesting, thanks for linking it! I fit some, but not other criteria. Last several years I’ve realized I identify a lot with ADHD memes, and having looked into it, I suspect I have ADD (ADHD-I). I just dread seeking diagnosis because “what if I’m making it up and I’m just lazy?” thought keeps knocking me down. Which is ironic, considering how many people with ADHD have this exact thought process/fear.
Edit: (all this is funny, because I’m convinced my mother and sibling have “classic” hyperactive type of ADHD and I also highly suspect my father is on the spectrum, but at the same time I’m not quite letting myself go get tested)
Yeah the imposter syndrome is rather common among ADHD and ASD people as well. While ADHD doesn’t directly effect long term memory, but it does effect recalling and saving ability aka cant really recall something the brain decided wasn’t interesting enough to memorize and that’s presuming the brain even decided it wants to try and recall something specific.
No worries, it can be mentally rather difficult to get the diagnosis, though once that is done it’s like a weight being lifted from your shoulders.
But in the meanwhile, until you’re ready. No one is stopping you in relating ADHD memes and using tips that help people with ADHD to deal with day to day life better. You can check out how to ADHD on YT, she seems to be one of the more healthiest approaches to dealing with all sorts of issues coming from it. Unless you already know that channel.
I haven’t heard of that YT channel. Added it to my highly disorganized 😅 list of things to check out!
I’m like that with my girlfriend because ADHD makes her spout nonsense most of the time and i just started ignoring her and i told her that, here’s an example “we have a cucumber in the fridge did you see it? It’s huge, it’s massive go look at the cucumber” sure hon, or just “penis, you penis” while watching a movie for no other reason than to say something, so i’m just like i know you are here but i’m ignoring everything you say unless we are actively talking and even then there will be random words thrown in just for good measure.
This is at the same time very very cute but I can also see it being a bit tiring. If she’s aware of it and she’s ok with it, I guess there’s no harm in what you’re doing…
Not gonna lie, I laughed so much at
we have a cucumber in the fridge did you see it? It’s huge, it’s massive go look at the cucumber
💯💯💯
My wife has ADHD, and I have wicked social anxiety. This is a constant struggle.
It’s tough because what she seems to want most is an active listener, but I literally can’t keep up with all of her conversations. It’s caused friction before because she’ll tell me she’s told me something I’ve forgotten and accused me of not listening to her - but I just can’t absorb everything that’s being said. Especially when she gets excited and I’d swear she can speak nonstop without pausing for breath.
At the end of the day I view a lot of her speech as like… vocal stimming. And I get easily overstimulated.
It’s a communication issue, and when miscommunicating both sides have a part to play. We’ve worked out a system where if she has something important to say she’ll clearly ask me to listen so I can stop what I’m doing and pay attention. And likewise, if she’s going too fast I’m allowed to interrupt her to ask her to slow down.
I’ll remember stuff someone told me yesterday, but 10 minutes ago? Nope.
