I’m (53) happily married but if I wasn’t, I’d likely have to date (read hang out, not life plan) someone inappropriately young. I’m just not sure i could find a single woman my age that’s into what I’d like to do. In most cases I’d have more in common with their kids’ interests.
Honestly, that makes me sad.
EDIT: Finding a guy my age to date would be a lot easier, but although I am omnisexual, I am fairly hetero romantic.
This is where I’m at now.
I’ve never married. I have no children nor do I ever want them.
I’ve been what many would describe as “successful” in my professional life.
I have modest personal wealth which allows me to travel far more extensively than most people.
In the last few years, I’ve started dating an age pool that many of my contemporaries consider “too young.” Not even close to the age gap that our dear Violet is describing, but enough that I’ve gotten the eye rolls and comments and “sugar daddy” accusations.
The women I date have college degrees. They have independence. They have their own money. Many are entrepreneurs, as am I. Almost all, like me, can work remotely from anywhere that has internet access.
A vast majority of women my age are not interested in the lifestyle I want and have. I’ve found it to just be far more rare.
Younger women are more likely to be aligned with me politically. My experience is that women my age are more likely to have the old pension mindset rather than entrepreneurial mindset.
Can I find someone my age that shares my values and lifestyle? Absolutely - but I’ve found that pool is far, far smaller as you increase the age range.
I’ll take the eye rolls and comments if it allows me to go to away at the last minute for a weekend in Ibiza or Saint Tropez whenever I choose. My childfree ass will take that over visiting her grandkids any day.
Changing where you live can really reverse what you’re describing, but I know that’s not always realistic. I live in the Bay Area and I’m middle-aged. The dating pool is full of people who my values and who like doing stuff I’m into, like going to live music and rocking out. Less than with younger people, but that’s about stamina more than interests.
If I lived in the midwest, where my family all live, there’d be nothing. Conservative bland bullshit. Dunno where you live, but something to consider.
Definitely appreciate the comment.
I’m bicoastal in two gigantic cities and counterintuitively that likely exacerbates the problem.
I would love to be with someone “age appropriate” (hate that term) if they align with my lifestyle. I’ve probably encountered that less than five times.
Maybe I’m immature? Midlife crisis? I don’t think so and my therapist is brutally honest - she doesn’t see any red flags. I’m choosy about those with whom I share my time and I’m probably overly conscious that there isn’t an unhealthy power dynamic (as is common with larger age gaps.)
☝️ this almost word for word except I was thinking Greek isles rather than St. Tropez.
I’ve done the Cyclades as well. Mykonos is definitely the same vibe I’m describing. Finding someone my age who prefers a late night at Scorpios over an early morning at a farmers market is not as easy as it sounds.
It’s easier that you think. Just take a class in your local jc college, once they find out you have a house, pension, 401k, and are a cool dude you can have several of them. My last gf i meet because she was a delivery driver and was crying about not being able to pay rent and her boyfriend was a dead beat. I straight up said, in taking applications for a 2nd and my wife is cool with it. She said, “you hiring?”
I live in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Finding super cool young people who want to date me is beyond easy. I get hit on all the time as it is. I guess what I am lamenting is not being able to find someone my age that shares my interests and energy levels.
Tell me about it. Songle Women my age are kinda insufferable. I’m sure i could find a cool one, but most of them are already taken.
Interests in youthful flesh aside, what’s this about having to share interests?
You don’t both need to be into Pokemon and kickboxing and old church Slavonic to be in love.
But retirement age is definitely not middle aged 🤔
Any age is retirement age if you can afford it
You can retire from cops or military at a surprising young age.
That probably doesn’t apply here though
yea… I don’t care how “two consenting adults” shit is… massive age gaps are always going to be weird and creepy to me.
Then don’t do one. As long as one party isn’t a kid it’s not your concern.
This has the same vibe as “she’s 18” like 18 isn’t a child…
You’re telling on yourself here.
What am I telling, they I think 18 year olds are children? Here let me tell a little more… 25 year olds are children.
Edit: a lot of downvotes for the idea that children shouldn’t be treated like adults based on a society run by pedophiles… And I’m telling on myself…
25 year olds are children.
Based on what? A paper from the 90s that spectacularly failed to sample people above 25…
“Uhm, actually” doesn’t work here if your basis is on research thats essentially misinformation at this point.
Buddy is fighting hard to classify children as adults… Might want to scan his hard drive.
You first.
At what age does one become an adult by your standards then?
Oh, so you clearly infantilise people. Bet you never applied that standard to yourself .
Wait isn’t he 50? I’m gonna need a sugar somebody soon because my retirement plan right now is freedom 95
yeah, he’s in his 50s
quite the early retirement
Depends on your country ig. Ours is usually around 55. But some do continue to then join another company as a contractor for few more years.
Nothing has made me want to delete lemmy faster than this post and the comments on this post what the fuck is wrong with y’all
Where’s the grindset in that?
