I think I’m running out of “it is what it is” cards

  • 9 Posts
  • 29 Comments
Joined 29 days ago
Cake day: March 11th, 2026
  • chattreOPtoTransfem•aaaa appointment done!!English
    4·
    19 hours ago

    money no, it’s pretty cheap to get there, it’s combination of the first and last.

    I’m still enrolled in high school and live at home, graduating this summer. they meet on Tuesday afternoons and it’s ~30 min drive or a 1hr bus ride one-way, not to mention the fact that I can’t tell spawnpoint where I’m actually going. with that time and distance I can’t just say I’m staying after school, at friend’s house or the library and get away with it like I usually do. best case scenario, I lie and never get caught. worst case, I end up getting back long after I’ve been asked to and… yeah this isn’t going to work.

    they gave me other resources on a different slip that may be closer, so I’ll have to take a closer look. if I don’t find anything easier to get to, there’s not much I can do

  • chattretoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•*Permanently Deleted*English
    26·
    3 days ago

    not at all an expert, but in my mind I like to think of it as a mental illness.

    very few people feel the need to hoard vast amounts of wealth to the point of needing to burn it. very few people feel the need to sacrifice whatever it takes, even human life, to achieve their desires of superiority and control. very few people have so much influence on a global scale yet so little in their personal relationships.

    it’s these very few people that have changed and gamed the system in order to make themselves feel a twisted sort of accomplishment over being better than everyone else, controlling what everyone gets to do and getting paid for it many times over. it’s these very few that are the “successful” sociopaths of the modern world because they are so empty they have nothing else to live for but to watch others suffer just to feel something.

  • chattreOPtoTransfem•Full speed ahead.English
    2·
    5 days ago

    yeah my optimism has been quite high as of recent. throughout my life I’ve been expected to do a lot of things independently and I usually find ways to get what I want eventually. the downside to that is I always ask for help far too late when people are willing to help me. I tried to be up front with my mom first, but my intuition said not to have high expectations as sad as that sounds and it turns out I was right

    homelab infodump time!!!!

    this one is my current, got it from a dumpster at an e-waste drive and it’s current operating state fits the bill. an NVME drive I got from an old laptop, mismatched memory sticks, no front panel (it got destroyed when it was thrown somewhere) and two different 1TB HDDs pooled together with LVM. it does have an i5-8400 and a GTX 1070 in there, so not sure why someone wanted to throw it out… perfectly good tech :(

    the dedicated GPU makes work of transcoding video in Jellyfin and Immich and the CPU makes it a great game server especially for modded Minecraft, but most of the time it idles as my Nextcloud sync, UnifiedPush server and DNS adblocker

    before this server I had an HP office computer with an i5-6600, and before that a 2012 MacBook Air, lots of changes over time. Still trying to offload the former to someone because it still works and I don’t want to throw it out…

  • chattreOPtoTransfem•Full speed ahead.English
    2·
    5 days ago

    yeah… I’ll try and process this experience now and not let it hit me like a truck at some random point in the future

    for now I have my friends. I don’t know where I’ll find my next family or what that will look like, but I think just heading to college would be a good place to start. a long 4 months before then though… :(

  • chattreOPtoTransfem•Irreversible decisions. (advice??)English
    6·
    9 days ago

    I think that’s what I’ll do. She’s still wants me to worry about “more important” things first and put this off until later, so I won’t be telling her anything else from now on.

    It’s sad that she won’t be there to support me now, if ever, and that I can’t be honest with her. But I’m not trying to seek that external validation. My mind is clear. I know what makes me happy. I know what I need to do to improve my life. I’ll just have to do it on my own.

    ❤️❤️