The Portugal she told you not to worry about

Thank you for your attention to this matter

I’m taking the month off from that. I told some ICE agents I’d pay them to do it for me. Best part is I’m not gonna pay.

All this doom ain’t gonna scroll itself

Assigned bastard at birth

Now put the main part of Oklahoma on the Atlantic coast

Yes I am wearing one sock. Only one foot was cold.

If my gender is what’s in my pants then I refuse to tell this pervert about my gender

Yes, ironing the flag is against our cultural values

I’m trans and I’m right-handed

“Happy MLK day to all the radical left lunatics who hate our country and its BEAUTIFUL legacy blah blah blah”

It’s toast ore

That’s almost the same as my 5 year plan. In mine, year 5 is ???

The human race is so fucked

Hey, I don’t wear glasses! (I think I need them though and I’m going for an eye exam soon… oops)

Someone needs to bring this up in the birthright citizenship case. As I understand it, trump’s admin is claiming the 14th amendment doesn’t apply to certain people because they aren’t “subject to the jurisdiction” of the US. But here they are saying that even the leaders of foreign nations are subject to US jurisdiction.

White genocide is real, it was called “manifest destiny”

Don’t worry, they sank outside of the environment.

It’s a catch-22 situation. Can’t use Siri till after the AirPods are paired.

This just in - Democratic Party quintuples down on refusal to ever learn anything,