numbermess

Labor. They wouldn’t ever say that directly.

Invest heavily in learning how to take and use deep breaths. My oldest is 12 now and in a lot of ways the baby days are still here.

In particular I’d recommend a wall-powered snot vacuum. They will probably give you a bulb at the hospital. It sucks and should either stay in the birthing unit or just go in the trash. Someone will recommend a Nose Frida or something similar. Those are junk too but are better than the bulbs. The powered one will work much better than your lungs. It’s not exactly like a vacuum cleaner, it’s more like a water bong. The negative pressure draws the boogies through the water cup where you can just pour it down the sink. Much better than accidentally inhaling it because you pulled too hard or the boogers were thinner than you thought.

Also get that kid on a sleep schedule ASAP. Don’t wait or allow other things (like co-sleeping) to replace the sleep schedule. It doesn’t really take long for the baby to get it, but one of you will probably want to step in. I did, and I didn’t think it would really work, but I am grateful that we took that advice.

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I’m also reading The Farthest Shore by Ursula K Le Guin to my boys right now. They go to sleep in minutes after starting it and have no idea what is going on when I ask them about it in the morning, but it’s a great book and I’m enjoying reading it even after they go to sleep.

I’m listening to There Is No Antimemetics Division by qntm right now. It’s both fun and terrifying at the same time.

I just finished listening to Service Model by Adrian Tchaikovsky and really enjoyed it. It was a nice departure from the Dying Earth Breaking Down theme, even though it was definitely a Dying Earth Breaking Down story. It was like a wholesome, lighthearted Earth dying.

The leopard didn’t eat [gestures somewhere] all my face! I am chosen! I am selected!

MTG, standing eyeball-deep in feasted leopard shit, gnashing and tearing away the flaps of flesh the leopard left behind

My boys have been in two packs over their careers. The first one was boys only, and the second one allows girls. The second one has tons more activities and active participation as the first one. My youngest was a Lion/Tiger at the boys only pack, and the older one was Wolf/Bear. Now they are Bear/AOL and getting some valuable experience that seems closer to the real world. Pete Hegseth can eat shit.

The car’s on fire and there’s no driver at the wheel And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides And a dark wind blows

The government is corrupt And we’re on so many drugs With the radio on and the curtains drawn

We’re trapped in the belly of this horrible machine And the machine is bleeding to death

The sun has fallen down And the billboards are all leering And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

It went like this:

The buildings toppled in on themselves Mothers clutching babies Picked through the rubble And pulled out their hair

The skyline was beautiful on fire All twisted metal stretching upwards Everything washed in a thin orange haze I said, “Kiss me, you’re beautiful These are truly the last days”

You grabbed my hand And we fell into it Like a daydream Or a fever

Godspeed You Black Emperor - The Dead Flag Blues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVekJTmtwqM&list=RDXVekJTmtwqM&start_radio=1

The Fantastic and the Fouriest

Mogwai Fear Satan

I know that feel. Welcome to the gang!

Sent from my Neato BotVac D7

Boy I did not see this coming. Surely he won’t pull some other kind of un-American shit that benefits Russia and nobody else because that would be UNHINGED which naturally calls for a SLAM from some toothless leader/group after which he/Miller will be described as MELTING DOWN so I should subjectively FEEL BETTER and believe that he is not REWRITING THE BOUNDARIES OF REALITY somehow

Feels like we’re gonna need to clone, deputize, and immortalize that goose that chases everyone around asking Who did, motherfucker?

Very tired of reading that this guy “melts down” like he is just some kind of shitty baby posting online and getting his feelings hurt. I firmly believe his is a baby but he is the kind of baby that gives permission, orders, and quotas to people to be their worst selves.

I know that a fairly large B2B Ecommerce platform called OroCommerce just moved all their customers’ cloud hosting to Oracle. I doubt that would have all of a sudden made Larry Ellison the richest guy in the whole world, but it is something that happened recently. I sure don’t hear a lot of people saying LETS USE ORACLE otherwise these days.

Pretty soon they’re gonna be like “Y’all know what we’re doing and you know what we’re going to say, and we are not wearing these hot-ass moving blankets anymore either. Fuck all y’all.”

I cannot correctly say my kids’ names when I’m stressed out in a hurry. I just end up saying both of their names. Eventually I will be right.

I’m sure they’ll come around and proudly excuse him of this and any other future degeneracy he chooses to become.

❤️ Xi loves me ❤️ 😭 Xi loves me not 😭

For like 15 years my wife and I will occasionally greet each other with the “I came here specifically for dinner!” line from MST3K Mitchell. That movie really holds up.