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TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Treat taking a dump like a sport

lemmy.world

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  • itsme@lemm.ee
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Treat taking a dump like a sport

lemmy.world

TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • cross-posted to:
  • itsme@lemm.ee
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  • NeatoBuilds@mander.xyz
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    1 year ago

    That’s why my dog poops then immediately launches off into a zoomie sprint

    • YonderEpochs@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I love the instant good mood they get like that lol

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    A true shitpost

  • satans_methpipe@lemmy.worldBanned
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    1 year ago

    Yeah it prevents you from having to slowly walk your bike up a hill doubled over in pain keeping an eye out for a large bush or high hedge

    • jaybone@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      This guy bush shits.

      • xkbx@startrek.website
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        1 year ago

        Ah, the art of bushit-o

      • satans_methpipe@lemmy.worldBanned
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        1 year ago

        Yes I do and probably will again. Not that time though. It was a photo finish though.

  • Rooskie91@discuss.online
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    1 year ago

    Is the power of the pregame dump not common knowledge?

    • Carnelian@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Everybody starts their fitness journey from a different point

  • Kitathalla@lemy.lol
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    1 year ago

    Worst experience of my shitting life was when I didn’t defecate prior to the monthly jog. Luckily I could squeeze through the fence of the golf club I was near, and it was early enough nobody was around to ‘report’ me, AND they had the course’s bathroom door unlocked. Now I just exercise at home where there’s a bathroom within safe jumping distance.

    • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      With every successive word in your post I was sure it was going to end with you shitting in the bushes.

      Kinda disappointed now to be honest. You owe me one poop in the bushes.

      • Kitathalla@lemy.lol
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        1 year ago

        I’ll do you better, and someone out there may know it’s me.

        I once was in a river,

        downstream from many givers,

        and then began to shiver…

        I felt a slide go past my liver.

        There I was alone;

        the house far, and across stone;

        and my south began to groan;

        from my lips I droned, “oh no.”

        I tried to climb the rise,`

        while tightly clamping thighs,

        but as I soon surmised,

        I couldn’t hold the surprise.

        All the river floaters watched,

        as my privacy I botched,

        there right upon the stony swatch,

        what horror flowed right from my crotch.

        • kablammy@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          That’s a very fancy “diarrhoea cha-cha-cha”.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      deleted by creator

    • passiveaggressivesonar@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Welcome to lemmy, glad you’re here. That was hilarious

    • De_Narm@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I guess you haven’t had bad hemorrhoids yet, lucky you.

  • scytale@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • Catoblepas
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      1 year ago

      How is everyone but me doing this on command?? I poop when I poop!

    • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Before, during, after… just make it part of the routine.

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        4 sets of 12 reps each butt clenches, 4 minute static hold of the butt cheeks together, then fart until failure.

  • Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    A good warm-up poop gets your heart rate up

  • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m good at the pooping part

  • HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today
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    1 year ago

    Keeping the ole sphincter clinched requires an immense of amount of energy and focus. Definitely distracting.

  • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    So, being a shitty athlete might actually literally be the problem?

  • __nobodynowhere@startrek.website
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    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

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