So I recently realised something: Theres a timespan of about 4.5 years, where I seriously have almost no memories of. I remember quite a lot of my life up to the 5th grade. However since between the 6th and maybe middle of 10th grade are mostly lost. I know stuff, that happened in this time, but its not nearly as much as before/after that time. One thing that might play into this, that I experienced quite a lot of bullying that just got worse as time went on. This was until the Corona lockdowns started while I was in 8th grade. While the lockdown might have saved my life it did not mean, that I worked through what the bullying caused to me. That did not start to happen until 1.5 years later.
I start to remember what was happening in my life until mid of 10th grade (so when I was 16), coincidentally thats also the time at which I started to get quite a lot intersted in women (and not in a sexual way, even though I thought it was) and started to do all the kind of exploring an egg does while being miles away from hatching.
Dissociative Amnesia maybe?
I have a giant blank spot for anything that happened more than 5 years ago. Starting when I was a teenager.
To me that sounds like you experienced a lot of trauma during that time which prevented your memory formation and/or formed memories that have since been repressed.
As for me, I can’t remember events in general because of my SDAM. So I have basically no memories of my life except for the few canon events which I remember on a factual level.
Lucky youu :3
I can remember my school years all too well :|
I don’t know if this is lucky or not to be honest? Not being able to understand some parts of your own life seems like… Not healthy?
I can’t say… since I haven’t lived something so dreadful that I would rather forget or wish that I would.
Still I remember a physical assault that left me the biggest panic attack I’ve ever lived after freezing from the shock of it. It doesn’t haunt me (consciously at least) but I remember it all too well every detail and would probably freeze instantly if that were to happen again like this.
While not everything is clear for the rest of my teenage years. I remember my feelings, some moments but mostly isolation, frustration, my sadness and my dysphoria (that now I know was not only about weight). I’ve lived some happy things too but that’s not what what I remember the most.
