So this guy (pronouns he/him and they/them, non-binary) “Will”, is this guy I met in the USA when I found him through a mutual (at the time online) friend, who I live close to, “Beth”. Beth has known Will through high school and now we are in our twenties. Will is 23.

I am polyamorous so I am engaged to my fiancée Aiko and dating Will, my boyfriend. I have no idea if I’m a lesbian or not still, though. He is non-binary but masculine so I just say I’m a lesbian for simplicity since he said we could date and I would still be a lesbian.

  • dandelion
    3·
    5 days ago

    I find it’s more about who I’m talking to and what it communicates than anything else. With cis, straight people I might identify as a lesbian even though I’m technically bi. I do that because I’m a woman in a long-term monogamous relationship with another woman, and it can be misleading or send the wrong message to say I’m bi.

    Also cis, straight people don’t tend to have much nuance in what they know about queer labels, and I don’t want to be obnoxious and use language they are unfamiliar with - like, I may be technically “polysexual” rather than strictly “bisexual”, but I’m not going to go into those details with probably anyone, tbh.

    In fact, I try not to talk about my sexuality at all, but that’s easier to do when I’m not looking to date new people, etc. For me sexuality is mostly private, I don’t discuss it much with people IRL.

  • nikki
    2·
    5 days ago

    I’m poly too and have kinda similar feelings, I still relate more to the lesbian umbrella even tho theres some guys I am into.

    I’d just not worry about it, I’m a pan lesbian as far as I’m concerned lol