not having kids. I still think it was the right decision for me
Spending so much time at the computer
That one takes time to catch up with you.
Intermittent touching grass is essential. ;)
Same! My parents were so worried about how much time I spent at the computer. Now it’s my day job (computer programmer).
dropping out of highschool. best decision I ever made tbh
I’ve kicked myself in the ass over that decision a lot over the years. It’s far behind me now, but I still kinda regret it.
Came here looking for someone saying “face tattoo”. None so far.
Not having kids.
Never trying alcohol or drugs or cigarettes or gambling. My whole life I’ve had a strong intuitive sense to avoid all that stuff, and I’ve never even had the slightest desire. When I was in the army my colleagues would tease me that eventually some day I would crack and give in to the dark side, but nah.
being extremely fucking transgender
Becoming atheist
getting a hysterectomy. this last year has proven that my foresight was indeed correct, the post right above this one is an article about the government planning to reduce or remove access to contraceptives, and no way in hell is anyone gonna make me be pregnant. i was extremely lucky to find a surgeon who would do it since i have no kids and was under thirty at the time.
It is extremely concerning how many surgeons are happy to sterilize men on request, but push back HARD when women ask. I’ve talked to several women in this exact situation, it’s like if you’re under 30 and don’t have 5 kids you must not have any idea what you want and you lose agency over your own body. One friend who wanted this had surgeons demanding a permission slip from her husband. What the fuck? Does her body belong to him? I find this situation abhorrent. Your body your choice end of story. And if you regret the consequences that’s on you, not your doctor. And SHOULD NOT BE your doctor’s job to dictate your life plans
As a man who’s been very sure he wanted to remain childfeee since his teens: most surgeons won’t sterilize men on request either. I was told several times to come back after I was married with at least three kids. Had to move to the literal opposite corner of the country to a place where Planned Parenthood isn’t under constant assault to get a vasectomy after decades of chasing one.
Wow. That’s unreal. If I may ask were you trying to do a vasectomy (which can often be reversed) or something more permanent?
A vasectomy, mostly. I did try to get into some studies for things like IVD, but that never materialized either.
I was shocked at how easy it was when I got to the NW and just…walked into a Planned Parenthood and scheduled the appointment.
Florida in the late 90s/early 00s was very “unreal”, but it’s gotten worse every time I’ve gone back to visit.
There was a quote something like no matter how bad life gets religion can always be counted on to make it worse.
my surgeon has your mindset and i trust her with my life. she also said if i decide to start T she manages transgender care as well. a few months ago i even saw her on a youtube ad advocating for womens rights and body autonomy. i just hope she doesnt leave the area, as a lot of doctors do here.
Anal
On my 5th birthday my parents threw a party for me with friends from kindergarten. My father had a pretty good camera for the time and loved taking photos. This was during analog times, way before digital cameras, so you wouldn’t just take a bunch of photos because it got expensive. He wanted to take a group photo and I, always being a little annoyed back then with the constant photos, stuck out my tongue. He tried to make me smile but I refused. So he told me he’d take the photo of me sticking out my tongue and I’d regret it when I’m an adult that I don’t have a nice photo of me on my 5th birthday. I’m 40 and I don’t regret it. Love that photo.
When I was a kid I went through the boxes that held all the family photos and threw away the ones of me, there is now very little physical evidence I existed at all up in till the mid 90s.
Not having kids, every time I have any remorse I spend some time around kids and their parents, in about 5 minutes I’m good
I love kids, but I have never felt a want for them.
This is an interesting nuance. I find most children annoying, and I don’t want any of my own, but the love I have for my niece and nephew is bigger than I ever could have imagined.
I guess there’s always room for exceptions.
There is truth in the saying “you won’t understand until you have your own”. The love I feel for my kids are like nothing else and nothing before it.
With that said, I’d never tell someone they would regret not having kids. As much as I love them, they take ALL my time and then some. It is a very big investment of your time (years) and if you don’t want that, that’s cool.
I hadn’t planned on kids or marriage. I’m so thankful to have both.
I’m in the same boat, except I’ve never felt any kind of remorse. How often do you feel it?
Same here, having watched how the lives of my friends who had kids changed reaffirmed the decision of not having any for me. You basically have to be prepared to dedicate next couple of decades of our life to raising kids and not doing much of anything else. And you end up giving up the freedom to do things like move to a different town or try a new career. Your primary goal in life becomes having stable income to raise your kids.
The whole “not much of anything else” mellows out as they get older, and you can even share those interests with your kids. I loved the whole process of going to amusement parks with my daughter, watching her go from enjoying but also being terrified of the small ones, to getting used to those but doing the same for the medium ones, being nervous about going upside down, then seeing it wasn’t such a big deal and now loving the big ones as much as I do and we got to experience the most intense one I’ve ever ridden for the first time together.
Yeah, and nothing wrong with that if it’s the sort of thing you enjoy doing.
Leaving proprietary software.
Yes. I keep hearing how Microsoft or Apple or Google is about to do something I shouldn’t miss. And they (the unmissable things) keep being kind of big nothings.
Not doing homework as a kid. Got to have a full childhood with lots of independent fucking around that has shaped my personality for the better. Tested out of school, and now me and those of my cohort who tried are all in the same boat anyway.
Were you homeschooled? That’s the only way I can imagine a kid could escape homework, because traditional shitty schools require homework. Because schools’ objective is to make children miserable & accustomize them to the agonizing relentless pressures of responsibility. I’m sincerely happy for you that you broke free from that bullshit & found true enjoyment in childhood, while traditional shitty schools rob children of their childhood joy 😥
Were you homeschooled? That’s the only way I can imagine a kid could escape homework
Disclaimer: I’m from the EU, I don’t know if it’s more difficult in the US. But I escaped homework by simply not doing it. I got yelled at, there were a lot of talks between my parents and the school, teachers made fun of me in front of the whole class…but that just made me more angry and more unwilling to do them. :)
Ultimately, there was nothing they could do, except giving me bad grades, but I didn’t much care about those. I’ve been a little shithead.
What also helped was my parents not giving much of a fuck either, they trusted me to do what’s best for me.
Same, just didn’t do the homework or attend school full time. Only turned up for a morning presence and went home shortly after. School tried for a year or 2, gave up and ignored it
The way I avoided home work in the 80s was not do it and not care about the repercussion, though I did drop out at 16 and get my GED.
Hell yeah, brother. I’m in the same boat. Sunk myself into my computer instead of doing boring tasks after school and now it’s my job.
My mom didn’t think I should buy a house. In 2009.
I would have been absolutely screwed by now if I’d listened to her advice.
I had the opposite. In 2007 my mom convinced me it’s conventional wisdom to buy as much house as you can afford, because historically it is one of the best investments you can make.
Thankfully all I could afford at that time was a pretty cheap house…
We went for a house somewhat below the maximum we could borrow, hardly cheap because nothing is cheap. But I am happy with it and don’t see any reason to move. I just want to pay off the mortgage and hopefully retire early. Why the fuck would I want to work years longer just to have a house that costs more?
We also bought under our maximum budget at the time. Good call as well because my partner got sick and had to stay at home for a year. We had to use a lot of our savings that did not go into buying a house to pay our bills.
