Man, suckling is gonna be weird as fuck.
Me: “Oh God! OH FUCK! I can’t do all this again!”
Aside from doing it all over, can you imagine the horror of having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby?
Can you imagine knowing that when you hit 35 you have a brain injury due to an A.V. malformation, almost die, wake up in hospital, become permanently disabled and have to learn to walk again?
…Yeah…
Audio Video malformations must be awful.
It’s Adult Video malformation.
From Google:
“A brain arteriovenous malformation (AVM) is a rare, abnormal tangle of blood vessels connecting arteries and veins, bypassing normal brain tissue. It typically forms before birth and can cause seizures, headaches, or neurological issues, though many are asymptomatic until they rupture, causing a dangerous brain hemorrhage.”
ONLY if you do things the exact same way again?
having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby
Trapped?
I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately… wowing people to such a spectacle… a talking dancing baby, who can espouse advanced philosophical notions, challenge people to reflect on their epistemology, and even warn of crooked ploys put upon the world. … Oh dear… I did not want to become a religious icon.
I’m presuming the baby continues to grow up normally, and is not an eternal baby-body prison… and that “all the skills” includes psyche-motor skills. … And best of both worlds, able to learn like a baby too, vividly retaining near everything, contrast to old-man brain (where decades of toxin accumulation and stress have impaired neurogenesis and learning capacity).
I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately
You might know how to speak with an adult’s vocal chords, or to walk with an adult’s body. I doubt you’d be able to do either with a tiny baby’s body.
A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memory.
Yes, and as an adult I have no idea how to walk around as a baby, speak with a baby’s vocal chords, etc. The only body I’m used to using is my current adult body.
A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memory.
Yes, and as an adult I have no idea how to walk around as a baby, speak with a baby’s vocal chords, etc. The only body I’m used to using is my current adult body.
It’s Groundhog
DayLife.
I’m suddenly a 40-year old woman in the body of a baby boy. Overnight: the following things are true:
- I’m in Japan. My English is borderline-perfect, once my face and throat can express it. It’s okay, I was born to white parents who are English speakers, but they didn’t raise me with English. We’ll see where this goes in my new life.
- My wife, who I’ve fallen asleep to every night, is now 3-year old kid in Illinois. I will miss her deeply and I cannot even grieve without arousing suspicion. Her existence at this point in her life is miserable. I know what she’s suffering through and which address she’s suffering at. Even if I went to go see her, she wouldn’t know who I am. I don’t look like me. She also hasn’t met me yet.
- I know full well that I’m trans and I know that my mother and father are hostile to such notions, and I know there’s nothing I can even do at that point in time.
- Everything I have read, watched, and played doesn’t exist yet. There’s embedded cultural touchstones that I reference that don’t exist yet. I’m also a baby.
- Most of my favorite music doesn’t exist yet. I will hum songs by Hitorie, The Beths, South Arcade, Battle Tapes, and Emi Nakamura under my breath decades before they’re written. This is a problem.
- The technology I use to make my art doesn’t exist yet. Digital cameras at the turn of the millennium were ass.
- I’m still 40. I can’t pursue my hobbies and works. I can’t take pictures (yet). DSLRs don’t exist.
- One of my two strokes gets undone. My body moves somewhat easier. However, I still think and interact with the world like I’ve had two.
- The house I’m living in now hasn’t been built yet then.
In summary, endless culture shock. I would panic forever. My life would immediately be one of those television shows where suspicion keeps mounting against the main character and there’s jack shit anyone can do to stop it.
I suppose I could tell her that in sixteen years, 9/11 is happening and what transpires, down to Kevin Cosgrove’s phone call. She’d panic and try to contact the feds, and I’d just say that Bush already knows. It’s in the commission report that doesn’t exist yet.
That might actually radicalize them…
You are a baby in 2026…
Oh, well then, I’d still be grieving my wife, who doesn’t know where I’m at, and my parents in their seventies will be freaked.
Well it says all skills and memories so just explain it to them and hope for the best!.
Uh hello wifey I’m a talking infant. I guarantee this is weirder for me than it is for you.
Okay you need to understand I just got isekai’d but not in the fun way… you are going to have to teach my parents what isekai is. Then we tell them together.
Edit is italics “for clarity of intent”
That’s even worse.
I have to relive all my life so far on a planet with worsening climate change? I’d kill myself as soon as possible.
As soon as I am able I would wander into the woods and perish
This is the way.
As babies do
The way I’m reading this is that I’m turned into a baby in this moment. Why is it everyone else is assuming time travel?
Your option means to probably just die. Assuming it’s a 0 second old baby, you’re not going to be able to take care of yourself or move around to get help. You’ll just lie there and starve. Traveling back to your birth means you’re with your parents.
Probably be best friends with my kids and hang out with them all day long. So nothing really different.
I think because of the idiomatic
What would you do with a second chance?
because they make assumptions
Would be fucking stupid if you just got babified? You could hardly even move, and no one around to take care of you, adults don’t take you seriously no matter what, you have to get a new ID, and start life from zero. The ONLY advantage is pristine health and a bit longer before you are old.
Right, which is why I thought it was a dumb question.
Depends on if it’s de-aging or time travel.
If I’m just de-aged and left in the present I would try and become a real life Baby Herman from Roger Rabbit and go into comedy.
If it’s time travel I’d try not to make the same mistakes but then end up making all different ones and ruining my life in new and interesting ways.
Yeah if I’m a baby in 2026 with my 2026 skills and knowledge, it’s not particularly useful because I don’t want to start literally working as a newborn and in 20 years my skillset might not be as relevant anymore. Not to mention the whole “oh buy a bunch of Bitcoin” thing ain’t gonna work if it’s already at (whatever it is now).
It’s actually kinds low rn last time I checked (last week)
Grab boobs while i’m still young enough for it to be cute
those are your moms boobs… would you even want to?
listen homie we all have our issues we’re working through
… That… I had not considered. That would be very weird. … I’m starting to understand the compulsion to eat a nickel.
… I was breast fed. I appreciate that. Do I want to relive that with all my skills and knowledge from adulthood intact…? O_O The horror.
I was given condensed milk instead, so…
Genuinely?
I’d not be such a tremendous cringey dork as a kid.
I would not latch onto that one girl who did not give a shit about me.
I would fully avoid the one girl who did like me but then completely fucked me up.
I would move out of my toxic dickhead dad’s house before he got my bedroom raided by police.
I’d buy a load of bitcoin when I saw it for like 12p and thought “nah, that’s just for criminals, I don’t want to be associated with that”
But then…
If I can’t achieve those things while also meeting my wife and having the exact same kids that I have now then I would honestly not change a damn thing. Scars and all.
I would rule the playground with my knowledge of Pokemon and distribute Mew to those whose dex languishes at 150.
But only trade him, don’t spread the secret that it’s glitches. Accidentally let it slip that using Strength on the truck by the SS Anne is involved, though. That rumor has to stay in the timeline
Its the only way to preserve the timeline.
plot of a horror movie: Grown up trapped in baby body for 1.5 years while fully conscious.
You are way underestimating the duration of horror.
After 1,5 years he’ll be able to say “This mortal form is limiting” and be thrown off a cliff.
😂
Ah, but babies have skin flaps between their limbs like flying squirrels.
Yup. This second run is going to include a diaper fetish.
Removed by mod
Spend 20some years dreading that I’m probably going to fumble my wife by knowing she’s perfect for me
Imagine how creepy that would be from her perspective. Someone shows up and is trying a little too hard to be friends, that’s weird but ok. But now they know things about me that I never told them. Eek!
“Hey, I know you’re just some 20 year old college student, but have you ever considered that you might be a lesbian?” Coming from an 18 year old who is clearly pleading for this all to go better than she’s had nightmares of and is unwilling to wait another 6 years to meet you in a dungeon.
Alternatively I do wait, but I’m no longer the kind of fucked up I was then. What began with us being in a similar emotional state and thriving on the raw honesty of “hey, I just got out of a relationship that went sour because I realized what I needed, so I’m probably not ready for a relationship, but know what I want” being “hey, I know way too much about you and am actively desperate for you specifically, but I love you so please give me a chance.”
I already did that this time around. Lost the love of my life from my fumble.
… This next time though… :D
The good news is I actually don’t believe there’s any one soul mate. Were I to actually find myself in that position I very likely would get over her in high school or something and move to resolve my other issues with life, get my shit together younger, come out at a young age, study more, get into a better school, pick a better major, push my mom to get her headaches checked out sooner… with all that, I’d probably be able to leave Ohio sooner and possibly before I would meet her. But also who would I be then? I certainly wouldn’t date my ex, (and thus might end up homeless after college if I don’t get my shit together earlier), and so I wouldn’t be able to bond over our similar exes. We wouldn’t be able to grow together in the same ways, and so even if we did find each other again she’d become someone different and so would I and I’d still be haunted by memories of a different her.
Also we aren’t monogamous and so I definitely wouldn’t be waiting for her. So there’s a good chance I’d find someone else and marry her. It would be deeply unfair and unwise to self destructively chase after a woman with whom my early relationship involved a lot of making sure we’d both be ok if the other left (we both had bad histories with people attempting codependence and so we forced ourselves into a secure attachment style from my anxious-disorganized and her avoidant).
So yeah soul mates aren’t real, but wonderful loving long term relationships are.
Go suck on my mothers tits super erotically to freak her out, not breaking eye contact the whole time
Haha yes as a joke haha yes a funny joke mother
Tell me more - when did these thoughts start occurring, and how do you feel about them?
Are we talking baby present time or baby back when I was a baby?
Let’s say back when you were a baby
Oh yeah, things would be way way way more different.
Eat a nickel.
Eat lerasium, then eat a nickel
- Buy into Bitcoin while its young
- Become a Crypto Bro, shilling to hell and back
- ???
- Become Billionaire
Good thinking. You could get so many nickels that way.
Or rather, INVENT bitcoin, as a baby or toddler. (guess it depends how young you are now)
You dont even need to be a crypto bro unless it would give you some kind of pleasure. Just buy bitcoin when it was under a dollar, you wouldn’t even want to sell them so what would you be shilling exactly?
You’d want to ensure people bought into it just like with this timeline, so become a crypto bro and hype up the currency to ensure people still end up buying it
I mean, you can go shill crypto right now and make a lot of money, plenty of buyers whether you exist or not.
I’d sell like 30% at one point for the massive early boost in economy.
You could get loans instead
As a child?
I was already an adult when bitcoin came out lol so yeah id have to wait a few years
I remember using my PC to mine, seeing that I only earned 0.000003 bitcoin, and then I gave up due to the electricity price. If only I knew that my parents were fuckups, so I could slowly sneak out a massive income through bitcoin. They would waste the cash anyway.
