Hi all, as above i am looking for some personal blogs. I don’t really like social media FB/Insta/TikTok etc so I am not looking for direction to them. Maybe YT is its exceptional and non advertisy.
I am just looking for individuals journals, and or genuine reviews of products and approaches. The internet is drowning in affiliate and compilation pages when I just want to have a look around at how other tackled it, and some reasonable priced products.
Happy for your stories too.
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Yes
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Thanks for the giggle.
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Rainbow Mafia? Please see rules 1 and 3. But seems out of place in any safe space for repressed peoples to use a hate-speech term to attack any repressed group IMHO.
Please don’t use that term unless you truly believe there are only 2 genders and only validly defined by a doctor looking at a baby’s crotch at birth and only active heterosexuality is valid. All other terms including gay, lesbian, bi, etc., are “rainbow mafia” terms.
If curious, there is a gray, or gray-ace usually, and it is an umbrella term sometimes used in asexual communities that describes several different orientations that are not 100% asexual, but don’t conform to sexual attraction “norms”, such as demisexual, those who find sexual attraction from emotional connection rather than physical attraction. And cis-women make up a not insignificant portion of that community, so there are likely some here. I have some of those traits since physical attraction isn’t as important to me, but more identify as lesbian, personally.
All LGBTQ+ terms are each describing thousands of living people’s experiences. They aren’t frivolous.
Sorry for the rant, but with so many governments attacking LGBTQ+ people and the US (where I live) at high risk of losing even legal gay marriage soon, it’s not a time to accept hate in any form.
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Saying LGBTQ+ terms are from the “rainbow mafia” is what is hate speech. That implies they are made up and the slippery slope fallacy that allowing any LGBTQ+ terms at all aren’t “normal” will lead to people eventually identifying as an attack helicopter. It’s never a joke to say a person’s identity is invalid because it’s made up by the “rainbow mafia”. It’s not a joke to say someone doesn’t exist. Are you gray/gray-ace, if not then you can’t “joke” about them not existing.
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You’re not listening to what I’m saying. You used a hate term. Using the term “rainbow mafia” to describe some imaginary group of people who make up terms to “feel special” is detracting from all LGBTQ+ terms.
Secondly, you can only claim “it was a joke” for something that denies someone’s existence or right to exist as a human if you are in that group. Then and only then can you make a joke of that nature. You stated you thought gray was a term invented by the rainbow Mafia. This implies you believe a “rainbow mafia” exists. Since the term “rainbow mafia” when speaking of LGBTQ+ labels is a talking point for hate speech against LGBTQ+ people in those groups by stating explicitly that they do not exist and are only the figment of the “rainbow mafia’s” imagination. This argent is also being used even as far as denying the existence of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or any of the terms. If you believe this and you specifically stated that gray sounded like a term LGBTQ+ people are accused of creating frivolously, you can not claim “joking”.
This is like a white person saying that black people are inhuman and violent and should be put down. It doesn’t matter if they then say “it was a joke”. It is hate speech regardless of whether you were serious. You can’t use that excuse just because you’re human and say oh when I can’t say humans are all violent animals. That’s not at all what was said first.
You’re creating straw men to defend your hate speech. Either apologize if you didn’t understand what you were saying or what “rainbow mafia” truly implies when talking about well established LGBTQ+ classifications. Everyone needs education, there’s no shame in admitting to a mistake. Otherwise I would ask that you kindly leave the community.
Whoa, friend. I’m sure you mean well here, but there are a lot of queer folks who joke about being part of the “alphabet mafia” and such as a way to mock being called that by the right. Essentially, joking about how silly it is that they would label us with something that sounds so goofy.
It seemed like a lighthearted comment to me, I don’t know that it demanded this level of response. I hope you’re doing ok in spite of the political climate.
That’s not the tone or implication of the comment. The comment was that gray “might be a new secret sect of the Rainbow Mafia” and mockingly that someone identifying as gray might have done so due to a “documentary about John Major [and] relaxed [they] just can’t go on living in color”.
This tone and dismissiveness of LGBTQ+ identities while referring to a conspiracy theory used by anti-LGBTQ+ people specifically to do exactly the same thing, dismiss LGBTQ+ people is at best inconsiderate if not outright hate speech.
And as I said, you can’t just say “it was a joke” while blaming me for pointing it out, using straw man and other logical fallacy arguments to make me feel bad for explaining the identity they were dismissing and then defending my partner and grey-ace people in general, and refusing to even apologize or admit that it was inconsiderate at best. If that’s what this community believes is allyship then no LGBTQ+ people belong here. My girlfriend, my few other of my other female identifying LGBTQ+ friends who were members, and I have already unsubscribed. I won’t be replying further to the thread as it’s simply too upsetting that a community for a repressed group would allow such behavior.
If the person you were responding to was speaking in good faith, then your response is so very overblown. Nobody was dismissive. It’s so very common to reclaim terms that are used to harm us by jokingly using them self referentially - You seem to think that’s an attack somehow. It’s not.
If they were acting in bad faith, I would agree with you. The person themselves, however, has said they are queer and were reclaiming a term through joking. Again, a very very common thing.
I hope you manage to sort through whatever hurt is causing you to assume everyone behaves in bad faith. Sincerely. I’m sorry to see you go, but I hope stepping back helps you breathe a bit and find somewhere you can be comfortable.
like you want to dye your hair grey or?
No I’m going naturally grey. It’s not terrible. Its more the transition of my normal fine but sleek hair to thicker wirier hair.
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I’m completely silver/grey at this point! Started going grey when I was really young, like 12/13 years old. I’m in my late thirties now.
I used to dye my hair all sorts of colors and then when Covid shut everything down, I figured it was time to grow it out since my hair was over 50% grey at that point. Haven’t touched it since! I’ve read of women getting a dye job where the stylist kinda blends the dye with the incoming grey.
Grey hair tends to be a different texture than the original hair; more wiry and thicker. Since my hair is normally very fine, this was an improvement to my hair texture! I did have to sorta relearn how to style my hair over the years as more grey came in.
I like to use purple shampoo and conditioner to keep brassy tones out. Right now I’ve got L’Oréal Ever Pure shampoo and conditioner. Purple shampoos and conditioner can be drying!! Some brands I prefer to use just once a week and regular shampoo in between.
Let me know if you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them!!
I think I am in a similar position. I feel like I need to relearn how it will be cut/styled. And of course the products. There’s a lot of marketing going on.
I don’t use many products at all so I don’t have very many recommendations there. The most I might use is a heat protector spray before using a straight iron.
I got my hair cut on the shorter side and that seems to be a better length with the grey.
Typically as you grow it out you do foils so you don’t get that harsh line. Any stylist worth her fee can do this for you and will foil less and less as you go allowing for a natural transition. I don’t have any sources for you like journals but all the women in my family a generation up from me are 70+ now and have gone this route to beautiful and natural looking results.
I have done this for a few years, i am too lazy, plus i am ready to embrace it.
You shouldn’t be needing to do it that long? As you do fewer and fewer foils it will eventually end up all gray, over the course of a few sessions you should be transitioned fully, it’s about doing fewer and fewer it shouldn’t take years.
I went grey (twice) by cutting a pixie cut. My observation about grey is that it takes some upkeep to make it smooth and shiny (might just be my hair). As a result, I like to keep it on the shorter side. I found a stylist that can do short hair exceptionally well, and that helps immensely.
Did you dye it after getting to grey?
I’ve always had shortish, as it’s been thin and for the first time in my life it’s thicker. So I can have it longer. But yeh that means having to look after it…new to me.
I went grey for a few years, dyed it (and didn’t like it) then went back.
It can be really pretty when styled, I think.
First, I’m going to apologize for breaking the “no men” rule, and feel free to delete this. I want to provide what I know from my mom though, who went gray in her early 20s, and is white more than gray now.
My mom gets tons of compliments for her gray hair, that I don’t think she’d get if she dyed it. It looks really beautiful. She uses a special purple shampoo (I think it might actually be called that) because it takes on a yellow tone without it. I’m not sure what it does special, but she swears by it. Other than that, she lets it be mostly natural and embraces it, and it looks great. I know many people, especially women, are scared of going gray, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing! You just have to find out how to make it work for you!
Good luck!
Hey Cethin thanks so much for your help! We are women only so please don’t comment again ♥️
>Sees rule saying women only
>Fully recognizing that his commenting breaks the rule
>Comments anyway
Your comment is otherwise respectful and kind, so I’m sure you thought you were doing something nice here…
And while I think there’s something to be said about the fact that you seem to have had some specific (if vague, still searchable probably) information to share, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be helpful… This is a key example of the difficulty of curating a relatively public women-only space: Men in general just don’t seem to care when they’re not wanted somewhere.
“Feel free to delete this” they will definitely feel free because that’s what mods do when someone breaks the rules. They don’t need your permission for that.
Try a cheap wig to get a vibe check on full grey.
i am ok with what the outcome. I was just looking for resources for the transition. Its like i grow two or three types of hair and they have different rules.
