Othepeople
I’m trying my best here 😭
Have you been spying on me?
I swear every time it comes up there always some asshole who says something like “you are trans you just dont know it yet” like for real fuck off.
You aren’t being supportive when you say that. You are JUST being a jerk. I have no gender, I DONT WANT ONE, and I certainly don’t want yours.
Friend, fuckin’ same.
I lean masc in my presentation, but that’s an overcompensation because of my AGAB. Genuinely? I kinda envy AMAB enbies a little, since even a touch of femininity is enough to make people look twice. For AFAB enbies, I have to lean hard into masc territory, and I still get she/her.
We’re both valid. But I wish the society we lived in didn’t get so hung up on gender in the first place.
Ooooh felt, sibling 😬 I sometimes manage to get “he” or a little confusion when out and about until I open my mouth, but yeah that all goes out the window if I dare to wear a hint of eyeliner or a necklace.
Short of going on T (which I’m wary bc I’m on other meds that I don’t want to reassess) and growing a beard, which, to be honest would be cool for me, I’m at a loss. Society is annoying with gender 🥲
bit unhinged opinion incoming of me but ngl i feel envy for k-pop stars for that reason. they appear to look androgynous with seemingly little effort.
i actually desire to look more fem, but it’s the apparent ease of looking a particular way that makes me envious of those stars, tbh.
Right?? Maybe that’s Western gaze, and there are cues we just don’t pick up on as easily visually. But damn, I wish I could pull off such effortless androgyny.
I’m confused, but that is sort of normal.
I thought trans was about not adhering to a gender assigned at birth. I would feel that rejecting any gender would be a form of non-adherance to said assignment.
My understanding was that trans is a broader umbrella that could include NB and genderless people. I suppose that isn’t correct?
It took me a while to respond because I didn’t want to accidentaly insult someone and I can’t quite seem to find the right words so please bear with me. I love it when people have a genuine question so I will try to answer it as best I can.
I can’t speak for others, but I have always been me no matter what someone assigned me at birth. As such I don’t consider myself trans because I have nothing to transition from. I am still the same person as the day I was born, I just stopped letting others dictate what that was.
I suspect my own inability to find the correct words for these situations as far worse. So thank you for bearing with me. They don’t exactly teach us this sort of thing in schools.
Either way, your perspective on the matter makes a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing it. I hope you’ll continue to bear with the rest of us.
My particular reason for engaging in these conversations is because I want to learn and understand how to better exist with other people.
Well The only way you offend me is if you were trying too so if you have anymore questions you are afraid to ask then ask away.
And as far as finding the right words you seem to be doing great.
Thank you for the support. I try specifically to emulate the language I see in the LGBTQ community, but even then there is clearly a learning curve!
In general don’t be a dick and you will be fine.
As with anywhere else there are folks who are just looking to be offended. No matter what you say they will get pissy.
Don’t let the bastards get you down.
The word trans comes from transitioning from an assigned gender to their own, if applicable. As such the use of this label is truly optional for non binary people. One person may choose to include it because a particular circumstance requires it or because the person feels that it more accurately describes their experience while another person may omit the same label. Other people who do not use this particular label MUST be prepared to accept other people who do include the label, though perhaps with limited personal understanding. In the same vein someone who does use this particular label MUST be prepared to accept other people who do not use it.
Gotcha. So what I’m hearing is that it is at least optionally associated with NB peoples’ identities if they feel a connection to the notion?
I had assumed that NB was a transition as well, at least insofar that western society’s gender expectations go, which would make trans a sort of umbrella notion for related notions of gender identities. Or at least I thought I had seen it explained that way at some point.
Thanks for the info, btw. A lot more students these days desire to transition or explore their gender identities and I would prefer to not accidentally be a dick.
I’m a good example of someone who is both nonbinary and a trans woman - they’re not mutually exclusive - but there are an infinite number of ways to be nonbinary and not everyone is like me.
Also, a good word for “people transitioning (socially or medically) to be more feminine” is “transfem.” Not all AMAB nonbinary people are transfem though, since there are plenty of ways to be non-masculine that don’t include femininity.
I appreciate it. The more I explore these issues the more I find that they are potentially very personal and the interaction between all the various properties can be a bit confusing.
That’s dogshit behaviour.
It is usually meant with good intentions so I don’t get mad the first time and I try to educate them.
If it continues after that then they can fuck all they way off.
Also cis women who don’t exactly fit all the transvestigator’s boxes.
conventionally attractive -> not trans
conventionally unattractive -> trans!
likewise with anything remotely ““masculine”” despite that perfectly fitting variability in both genders
I wish I got gendered as a trans woman, it’s not what I am but it’s a better guess than being assigned male at sight.
The occasional ma’am always quickly gets “corrected”.
Random nitpick: I wish the shorthand for assigned male/female at birth would die cause way too often it’s used to the opposite effect than what the words are intending to convey.
“She was assigned male at birth.”
vs.
“She is AMAB.”I don’t even use assigned gender at birth tbh, I just use whatever gender they have now.
honest question how would you have phrased this meme then
tbf i get the intent of your post, it makes a good point in how enby identities are sometimes overlooked. i think for this post it suits.
disclaimer: i’m part of the broad queer spectrum, but not enby, so if someone who is could fill in for me, that’d be good.
that said, in a world where AGABs no longer matter, perhaps “nonbinary people who start to appear less masculine” might work?
It leaves in the middle what their original AGAB was, but does make clear why people mistakingly may believe someone is a trans woman, when they are not…
I can’t believe our ancestors used to hunt mammoths
I dont understand why people would be accepting of trans binary people but not nonbinary
Is base 2 the only base they understand? Have they never heard of a group that includes more than 2 elements?
I think its becuz if you know woman and men you only need to belive that someone can swich between them to belive transbinairy folks but beliving nonbinairy folks requires expanding the woman men spectrum
It’s born out of fear, it’s pick-me for queerness
