I’m afab, nb and have a very androgynous look, but with wide ish hips that kind of give me some mild dysphoria since puberty. How do you deal with a part of yourself you cant change? Any tips?
This is a really good question, and I’m hoping that my perspective can help.
There are lots of things about me that feels less masculine than I would like (aspects of my body, mannerisms, etc).
Even as someone AMAB, I have always had the issue of not looking or feeling particularly masculine, because we’re told being masculine is a bunch of specific things. That ends up leaving massive swathes of men thinking they’re weird instead of who they actually are.
Maybe that can help reframe your thought patterns more toward “men have hips like this, and men feel this way,” because both are true. It’s not you, it’s the weird social pressure thrust upon us about what a man is.
That’s a very good way of thinking about it. Thanks a lot.
It’s weird that as some that can definitely “play up” both sides of the gender binary spectrum looks wise, my hips are something that has always bothered me. Even when looking/ feeling femenine. So, reframing it is a good way to go about it, I guess.
That’s understandable, and I can relate in a different way.
My ribcage is huge, and my waist is too small so my pants don’t stay up. I think “this isn’t the shape a person is supposed to be!” a decent amount.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too. I just have to keep reminding myself that people do, in fact, come in many different shapes and types.
I feel seen, thank you. Sending you a hug.
(っ ́ `)っ
As a masculine afab, I kind of feel this way too. Great way to reframe things here.
I’m the opposite, transfem with narrow hips. With me the dysphoria is more biochemical though, so if I’m on hrt it doesn’t bother me as much, whereas if I’m off it I feel despair that I’ll never look like a ‘real girl’
Interesting insight, thank you!
Hello fellow nb o7
In my case, my dysphoria got a little better after losing some weight and learning to work out to “modify” my shape a bit. Can’t really do anything about my hip bones, but losing weight = losing fat around the hip = making it look less pronounced. I’ve also been focusing my workouts to get wider shoulders and more solid obliques, which makes the body look more like a “rectangle” instead of an “hourglass.”
Putting on muscles as an afab takes a lot of time, esp if you’re not on T. I’m still a long way to my ultimate goals, but I definitely don’t dread looking at the mirror as much as I did a year ago!
Good to hear you are on your way to achieving your desired physique! This is the way, i feel.
I’m basicly built like slenderman’s spawn so I my only real femenine feature are those child bearing hips, :'c. I guess I’d have to do the opposite and gain weight and muscle mass which is so hard… but yeah I guess it’s the way to balance things out.
Thanks a lot for the advice. :)
I’m not FTM and I am AMAB, so you may not be interested in my input. I just wanted to say that I have been told by multiple gay guys in the past that I have a nice ass and wide hips. So that does exist lol.
Oh, sadly no ass to speak of here :P u_u