I’m a day late, but for me it’s just… Getting treated like one of the girls.
My wife and some of our friends have a ladies movie night every week and it’s been so nice getting invited to those week after week and just getting to be part of the girl talk.
Despite a year and change on HRT, I don’t really feel like I pass yet even in the best of circumstances. Or even come close, honestly. I look in the mirror and only see my dad so much it makes me feel like it’ll never happen. I’m slowly seeing my mom and cousins in the mirror instead sometimes, but it’s slow-going.
But our friends? They make me feel like I’ve belonged in the girls’ circle the whole time, and that has been remarkable.
Also my wife’s side of our extended family has a yearly gathering and when I came out they all were immediately supportive - Instantly reminded me to bring a ladies gift for the annual gift exchange and asked if I have a new name and pronouns and such. And that was the grandparents! Small stuff like that: proactively inviting me to girl things, and treating me like I belonged there to start with.
Honestly? I’m struggling a lot to feel ok to even exist these days.
I hear you mate. It’s really hard for the trans+ community right now, it’s abuse from all angles and constant erasure. Reach out whenever you need us, we’ve got your back
Keep going! 🏳️⚧️
Being gendered correctly, seeing pride flags in flags where I wouldn’t normally expect them.
Flags have meant so much to me as well. It’s hard to describe I think how much small symbols like that mean, especially when you’re closeted/early in your transition
Being shown kindness by strangers. Something as simple as a smile when they inadvertently make eye contact with me.
Another woman in the store recently asked if I could reach something for her, since I’m much taller, and I was happy to help of course. There wasn’t anything special really about that interaction, but it stuck with me just how normally I was treated in a world where some want us to feel like freaks.
Dunno about day to day life but my flatmate got me some candy as a gift today!
Saying the right pronouns and name is good and all, but that’s a behavior that can be learned. I’m always a little on guard for those who try to say the right thing to be polite, without actually accepting me.
Its the coworker, little more than an acquaintance, who held the washroom door. Its the coversation premised around an unstated assumption of shared experiences. Its those few notable lines that she would only say to another woman.
Its these things I find the most affirming. Its shows an internalized understanding of my gender. Its what I appreciate most.
Standing up for us. It’s easy to say you’re an ally during times of peace, but the veracity of such claims are tested in times of war. Can you fight for someone else’s rights? If you can’t, then we are doomed.
I agree and sadly it’s impossible to change some people’s mind. I often point out to people it’s starting with trans+ because they’re a vulnerable community. It will NOT end there. So even if you don’t care about trans+ you should fight for them because otherwise the attacks WILL spread to LGB, women, non white, disabled etc etc.
My partner has been amazing since I came out to her last year. I have some amazing friends. The women here have been extremely kind to me. And the kindness and selflessness of other trans people, friends and strangers. They’re all saving my life right now.
People using my name not misgendering me or criticizing me. But also being able to be myself and not face harassment in public.
I have no support other than a tiny handful of work friends. No one can be there for me when I really need them.
That’s rough dot and I’m glad you felt able to say that here. WomensStuff have your back 100% and we’re here if you need us
Thank you for sharing about your kind work friends. Maybe you’re making community now so the next generation will have more support. It’s a lonely hard road :)
what makes you feel supported in day to day life?
Just being recognized as a woman. Small remarks like “Hey, girl!”, or “Ladies first” or just someone using the right pronouns without me having to tell them beforehand.
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