I have full on conversations with myself. To the point where I simulate talking with two people. I don’t have any multiple personalities or any mental illness (as far as I know), I just use it as a way to think about what I need to think about.
I have this reporter/podcast host living rent free inside my head to whom I have to give daily interviews to.
Your left brain and your right brain are communicating externally
I think that’s normal if you have an inner voice. I do that too to an extent. However, not everyone has an inner voice. I can’t imagine how life works for these people, but it’s not that rare not to have an inner voice.
I got my inner voice around 20yo, it was very surprising at first… I thought that’s it, the family strain of madness finally got to me, I’m weeks away from being restrained.
But no, it’s harmless. Even useful because it’s like rehearsing -it means I don’t have to improv all the time.
You’re not talking to yourself, you’re crafting a socratic dialogue outloud.
Like I dunno if there is any particular evidence that Plato like, talked to himself aloud in developing his plays… but a substantial amount of the foundation of ‘Western’ canon is pretty much Plato making up conversations that probably are not verbatim accurate, but work to dramatize and illustrate some kind of tension between characters with different worldviews
You might be trying to find bugs in your own thinking system, rubber ducking it all the time lol
Do you use pronouns for yourself during these conversations and if so, are they first or second person (I vs you)?
I imagine I’m talking to someone else so I use ‘you’ mainly
I can talk myself out of buying anything, and often do. Even when I actually need it.
Self-gaslighting. I don’t know if this is a superpower or a weakness…
Its literally a trauma response to poverty, its a kind of hypervigilance.
It can be a superpower in many situations, it can be a debilitating neuroticism in others.
I haven’t been in debt for like 2 years now and I still tell myself that I don’t need to spend more money on food. I probably skip dinner (that I can afford to eat) 2 or 3 times a week because the only way I’ll eat something is if I pay for it.
At least I’ve beaten the odds of obesity…!
… sounds pretty rough, not fun.
But, you did make it through it.
I would genuienly suggest that you set up and maintain a 3 or 6 month emergency fund… literally as a psychological means of being able to actually feel ok about spending you can afford to spend, as much as for the actual finance sense.
Like basically, look at your budget, set an amount that always goes into that fund each month.
Once you hit the 3 or 6 month target?
If you have money left over after accounting for all other significant spending… it is actually ok to spend that money as fun money.
Then after that fills over, consider something like high yield savings account. Still pretty liquid, not very risky, but, it is still withdrawable, but but, you have the emergency fund now as a buffer.
I appreciate the advice. I could get fired tomorrow and be mostly ok for the rest of the year. But I don’t think I’ll ever shake the, “are you really spending $20 for a single meal? That won’t even give you leftovers?” mentality.
I was at the pub the other night, they wanted $29 for a burger. I didn’t have it in me. It’s too much money for a burger.
In fairness, that is too much money for a burger.
Damn. Well you’ve got more of a runway than I currently do, so you’re on top of things…
But yeah, I… was homeless for a while… took years to recover from the more acute PTSD type shit that left me with… I guess I’ve just got slightly different version of the long term hypervigilance scarring than you.
The ‘constant potential threat analysis’ variant.
One of these days, we will build a future that is not so bleak.
Somehow, someway … it must be done.
The alternative is unacceptable.
I’m lucky in that my hobbies and interests were able to secure me a decently well paying job and I don’t have any major ailments or dependencies (no kids or family to take care of beyond my dog). I’m certainly not “heterosexual white male” privileged, but I can’t say I pulled the shortest straw by any means.
Sorry to hear you’ve been in worse straights. I was on the brink of homelessness for a month or two like
23 years ago and the thought of living on my own or with people I am not compatible with was terrifying. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.Somehow someway, man. That’s been the motto since 2018.
Keep tough.
i talk while watching movies/tv shows. i genuinely do not find it enjoyable to just watch stuff.
i talk while watching movies
You don’t do it at the theater, right?
no, i will only bother people i know with that.
My spouse does this too. I’m down to MST3K roast a show or movie if it’s bad or I’ve seen it before, but we have an agreement if I care and want to be immersed I’ll let them know…
…and then if it turns out the movie’s bad I’m down to roast it.
Sometimes I’m enjoying a movie and I can tell they want to talk, and it drives them insane, but they respect the agreement.
are you sure that won’t cost you some points? don’t want to end up in the bad place.
Oh I’m positive. The flipside is I watch a lot of reality TV with them as they enjoy our riffing it together; I do not care one iota for most reality TV, including what they make me watch, but I do it for them, and there’s always time later to turn it back to my tastes. It’s a balancing act.
But also I still keep track of external factors if it’s not enough. I returned two shopping carts to the corral and held the door open at Red Robin for some sort of school visit and by my calculations those were enough points to get me a Heat rewatch with them.
subtitles make this a lot easier imo
as in preventing me from yapping or as in multitasking yapping and watching?
multitasking :3
I match my shirt color to what I’m going to train in the gym.
As an example, let’s say that’s today is leg day: then I will use a gray shirt. Yesterday was chest day, so it was a red shirt.
I bought a few packs of the same shirts just so I could make this matching game. I’m not sure if someone elss at the gym realized that I do this but I’m fairly certain they would find it odd.
You’re like the gym bro reincarnation of Haruhi Suzumiya.
I’ve been told that my pacing is weird. It seems pretty normal to want to move to think. It happens a lot when I’m on phone calls especially, but I’ll pace while making decisions too
Pacing is definitely good for regulating your thoughts. I like to pace when reasoning through a difficult problem, and it also helps relieve some anxiety.
Speaking of anxiety, watching me pace makes my wife anxious. I understand that, sometimes pacing comes from a place of distress. Other times it’s just a way of keeping the body active while the mind is busy. It’s often subconscious, but when I catch myself doing it, I’ll try to pace in another room so I don’t bother anyone.
I remember visiting a really shitty zoo when I was a kid. There was an exhibit with a leopard who spent the whole time pacing along one side of their enclosure. There was a rut worn into the ground that must have been a few inches deep where it passed. I wonder how many thousand times it made the trip from one side to the other - it wasn’t very far. That makes me anxious.
Stopping midsentence and expecting other people to know what I was about to say.
Impulsively replacing a word with something that could be considered adjacent; “My teammates” could become “my animals”.
Pretty sure I got this habit from my mum, who is ESL and later developed aphasia after having a stroke young. It kinda bled out into how me and my sisters communicated and I carried it into adulthood, although I only do this around people I feel super comfortable with.
ESL?
English as a Second Language I presume
I do the first one all the time. I’ll be in the middle of something while talking, or struggle to remember the correct word, and I’ll just kinda trail off. Then maybe 10 seconds later I’ll remember that I just stopped talking mid-sentence and try to pick back up.
I used to move my mouse at a certain rate to do the Google captchas at a slower pace than I physically could. Not sure why I did it, but it seemed like a reasonable strategy.
i’m so fast that may be confused as a robot
If you do them impossibly fast, you will fail them.
If you happen to be something like a world class CS2 player… you may be ‘impossibly’ fast.
I wear the same clothes every day, as in the same style and color of shirt, pants, hoodie etc… My wardrobe basically looks like that Simpsons gag where Homer’s wardrobe is just 20 identical white shirts and blue pants.
I picked that up from a buddhist monk who stated that not having to expend any mental effort worrying about what to wear each day felt freeing, and he was totally right.
I stole that same philosophy regarding my hair, and just buzz it all off once a week. Never a bad hair day that way!Einstein did the same thing.
That being said, I have various clothes because of weather, and generally expend next to no thought on what I wear in as far as people are concerned. It all mostly goes together, so it’s just grabbing whatever feels right in the moment with no wrong answers other than weather factor. I probably spend more time thinking about what I’ll make for dinner, or how to word a single email to touchy snowflakes.
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When I worked in a (casual) office, I did the same. Grey polo shirt, black jeans, every day for about a decade. Now I work from home, freelance, and I wear whatever’s clean with much the same result… I don’t worry about it.
I kinda miss having to wear a uniform for work. Especially since it also gave me a clear transition from work mode to home mode. The next job I had left me with like a month of awkward confusion as to what to do immediately upon arriving home.
I do the same, but I have different colors. Like I have the same tshirt in 12 different colors. The same shorts in 5 different colors. The same shoes in 5 different colors. Etc etc. I usually just grab what’s on the top, but occasionally have to grab the next thing if it’s too mono-color.
Did that for the first 19 years of my life until I realised, that I was trans and started to take Carr of my outward expression. While my old clothing style was boring, it was as simple as grabbing a new pair of clothes from my drawer each week and not having to worry about anything.
It usually takes a very particular kind of moment for others to even notice but I don’t lie ever and I’m completely unable to give short inaccurate answers that borderline on lying.
I’ve basically trained the people around me to not ask if they don’t want to hear the truth or conversely that I’m the one to ask when everyone else is just handing out comforting lies.
… you realize you are almost certainly autistic, right?
I realize the stack of evidence supporting that possibility is quite high.
Same here. It’s a real barrier at work. Leadership doesn’t like facts. That said, apparently ADHD causes some symptoms that most people consider autistic. A doc told me that when one of my kids who appears autistic was evaluated for it. But it’s all just labels anyway. The symptoms are what matter.
A lot of the behaviors are similar, but their causes are not. This Dutch white paper explains this: https://www.anneliesspek.nl/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Whitepaper-ASS-en-of-ADHD_16-9-24.pdf
I feel the same way about labels. It feels like a binary way of thinking, whereas I see this stuff more as a spectrum - and honestly even that feels overly simplistic. Maybe a 3-dimensional one. I’m not planning to medicate it anyway, so getting an official label is hardly new information or useful. I embrace it, whatever it is.
People in general dislike anything that might inconvenience them, the truth included. Effective communication lies in one’s ability to make them understand despite these emotional barriers (with techniques like the “compliment sandwich”, “I feel” statements or opening with some light jokes, for example). 👍
Yeah, but compliments require lieing in my head usually. Especially to the kind of people we don’t like the truth. I just avoid leadership. Communicate through my manager with them if needed. And avoid any management type positions.
Usually but not always. Sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. I understand though (maybe it’s my own neurodivergence, although I’m an ADHD enjoyer social butterfly), and in those cases I just say nothing and nod if needed, lol. For me, the truth is something I discuss with those ready for it, for adults I respect (in the absence of trauma, ofc, some things are better left unsaid if all they’re gonna do is cause pain), everyone else gets the kid’s gloves treatment, which I don’t mind providing since I’m somewhat paternalistic in nature.
I have a bit of a righteous tendency as well. It drives me to feel the need to point out when someone says something false. Which leadership types constantly do. Just a bad combo.
Well, uh full irony of the bluntness intended here:
Takes one to know one.
You remind me of… me, just, with friends who aren’t assholes.
Blunt, yet detailed, as fair as you can be?
Giving a half answer feels like lying?
Lying itself is essentially innately not a thing you do, unless you learn how to, by studying it as a concept?
Ding ding ding.
I’m in a similar boat. Social deduction games make me very nervous.
Exclude meat from my diet
If everyone around you finds that odd… you don’t live in San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Boston, or most University campuses
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What? I completely get discarding things and living a life without the burden of clutter, but having a game in your Steam library is essentially zero cost/burden right?
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Games are meant to be played, not collected.
I’m not a gamer myself (the only game I ever purchased are a few chessboards ;) but as a book reader I know many people do buy books they will never ever read. They just collect dust on their bookshelves. It may be sad they don’t get to enjoy the content, but it’s their choice and there is nothing wrong with that.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsundoku
Tsundoku (積ん読) is the phenomenon of acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up in a home without reading them.
Seems to be quite universal phenomenonemon. I wonder if theres a word for someone who spends a year or two buying books, letting them pile up and then has a few month period where they read for hours and hours every day. If there is, that would be me.
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That sounds good to me. I actually have some major JOMO these days, with pretty much everything. I think the most recent film I’ve watched is from 2019, the most recent music I listen to is ~2011-12, I enjoy listening to people tell me about that party/event/whatever they went to and I didn’t etc. So your description fits better than you knew lol
I hope it’s the loud minority that buys that many games. I think most people don’t have the luxury to think that way.
I have over 200 games (not the largest library I know but still sizable) and most of them are unplayed and never will be. A majority of them come from the monthly Humble Bundle subscription that gives me like 7-12 games a month. I haven’t redeemed any in a while, I mainly keep the sub for the store discount, and the mild feeling of goodwill I receive for having donated to “charity” (since Humble’s acquisition by EA I question how much of this goes to charity).
You could just hide them and not complain about your “backlog”. It’s pretty unjustifiable but congrats on matching the thread topic I guess.
Clutters the interface, harms discoverability in the backlog, and may point to a game that doesn’t even work anymore.
Especially since you can hide them if you want to maintain a clean interface. That way you can bring them back later if you decide to replay the game, or share it with your family. There’s so few reasons to ever delete a game.
this sounds like just throwing your money away. I think it definitely takes the cake for weird/interesting habits.
I agree, it costs nothing to not delete them, and if they ever added a framework later on for reselling or trading, you’re just out money.
Not to mention if you wrote a review for any of the games, I’m expect deleting the game from your library unmarks the game as you owning it, which means that your review no longer contributes to the game’s rating.
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I fully understand not wanting them in the library. How I go about it is I have a category that’s called finished, and when I finish a game, I remove them from all categories, except for finished, and then I hide/collapse that category. Alternatively, you can also filter by installed games.
I have a review for most of the games that I’ve played, but almost none of them actually count towards the game score because Steam has a really stupid way of deciding if a review actually counts or not. basically, for a review to count, you have to own the game or have refunded the game(I’m nit sure if deleting the game counts as refunding). And it must have been purchased directly through Steam. and it has to meet whatever Automated metrics they have in the background to decide whether or not it’s a bot review or not.
I’ve had fully valid games that I purchased through Steam just not get included in the review system because something I sent in the review triggered some form of abuse system.
Can you remove paid games from your library? I have removed a few f2p ones, most notably Apex Legends after removal of linux support. Turns out you can add them back and your hours, achievements will be right back.
I’m actually trying my best not to buy from countries I see as vile and inhumane, and businesses owned by people who support vile political ideologies. Spend a good amount of time checking for the brand and country of origin while in the shop.
You’re not weird, just more dedicated to being a moral person than most. 👍
Interestingly, according to the common interpretation also mentioned by @fushuan@lemmy.blahaj.zone this is not normal.
but what is it, if not normal?
Have you read the amount of responses in this post? 😂
No way the definition of normal I gave is the common one. At some point it doesn’t really matter what the dictionary says, if enough people change the meaning of a word they use, it changes meaning.
Still interesting to look at the roots of a word to see original meanings and so on though.
No way the definition of normal I gave is the common one.
maybe, but definitely not a rare one. for instance I regularly hear that people deem others weird because the other person cares about their privacy, and does “extreme” things to achieve it, like not using facebook or using a less known email provider. while I think it’s the normal thing to do so, others (mostly who don’t care about privacy) think it’s not normal, reason being it’s not the common thing to do.
I was meaning it mostly about this part:
Something being normal is rooted on it being the norm, as in, something typical. If you think something is odd, you can’t feel like it’s normal just for you, that’s not what the norm means. Maybe it seems natural to you? Sure, but not normal.
Some people argue that you as a single buyer won’t make a corporation go bankrupt. Saying that, they mean they would just go for cost/efficiency when buying themselves, ignoring the moral aspect, cause their contribution isn’t gonna be noticeable. After all, it’s not their fault, it’s the government/capitalism/<whatever_else>.
I find this argument ridiculous cause 20 cent bullets kill people.
Have you had any success? How? Every time I’ve started down that road, it’s a maze of twisty passages, all alike
The packaging generally have production address and distributor, and maybe a brand. So a quick web search if have doubts.
But yeah I wish it was simpler.
I do crowd control when walking near other people or animals. This involves whistling or snapping my fingers to get their attention and putting my hands out if someone gets too close. I picked this up in rehab from a spinal injury that I have since mostly recovered from.
So that they don’t bump into you, is that it ? that’s probably a good habit to keep while out with vulnerable people
Not every time.
But most nights when I get into bed, I get into bed facing the outside, roll to face the middle, roll to face the outside, then settle in to try and sleep.
It settles the blankets in a way I like, and its sorta a ritual now
Gotta make the nest! I do this when sleeping alone, and also will lift my feet for just a moment to let the blankets swing under and complete the human burrito feeling. I just love to feel completely held, supported, nested, wrapped.
If I’m knocking on a door I silently count how many times I knock. I prefer to knock 5 times but it’s not a solid rule lol. Friends have accused me of “cop knocking” so at their houses I knock the mario bros riff
I learned the cop knock early on in my delivery career. People ask why I didn’t use the bell. Because more than half the time the bell doesn’t work, that’s why. I don’t have all night to stand out here looking stupid. Hitting your door with my baton did, though, didn’t it? Plus if you’re going to bust out of here running your mouth with some dumb shit, I’m already holding my baton.
I wouldn’t do it hard enough to leave a dent in the door except with people I really disliked.
I never had the occasion to whack a customer, regardless of how richly some of them may have deserved it. But people lurking around the vicinity who were stupid enough to believe they were the first person to think of jumping the pizza man from behind at the door were a different story.
