When I started (paraphrased because it’s like 20 years ago)

  • Customer: “Is your ham all-natural?”
  • Me: “There’s no such thing as all-natural deli ham. It’s a 10lb cuboid. I could get you a pork shank, bone it out, and slice it for you though?”

Yesterday

  • Customer: “Is your ham all-natural?”
  • Me: “Y’know, I honestly don’t know, it’s annoying, they don’t make it easy for us to find out that sort of information.”
  • Denjin@feddit.uk
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    24 days ago

    Ma’am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind’s contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest. We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.