I don’t love this meme.
I prefer some variation of “The best time to do it was yesterday, the second best time to do it is today”
Which is to say, I don’t perceive that my late in life transition happened when it “meant” to. It happened when it could. And I’m so glad it happened at all! But if transphobia hadn’t have gripped the world so hard, it also wouldn’t have been as late as it was.
I mean, agreed on all points, but sometimes I get really sad about how late in life I’m transitioning and I like to imagine gandalf comforting me about it.
Sure, it is deeply unfair how transphobia hinders us to be ourselves and makes us so ashamed of ourselves. And on top of that many of us also feel a lot of internal pressure of going against the shame and transphobia. I feel like this meme is a good way of alleviating at least some of this pressure. And saying “the best time of transitioning was yesterday” would make me feel bad about myself because it gives in to that pressure.
For me, saying that I transitioned “when I was meant to” just doesn’t land right, because I know it’s not when I was meant to. Making me wait all that time wasn’t the right thing, it wasn’t what was “meant” to be.
From my perspective, in an ideal world, “yesterday” was the time to transition. But the world isn’t ideal, and it made that impossible, so “today” is what I was able to achieve despite the world trying to get in the way! (though “today” was 9 years ago for me)
I wish that I had the courage to follow up my cross dressing as a 13 year old. Dare to ask why it feels so good to wear a bra. But instead I felt shame and pushed it away. Now I am past 30 and at least find comfort in the fact that it’s not too late and that there is still time.
So I guess I am saying that I feel your point of view more than the meme. Though I also think the meme is trying to say that if you questioned for a long time that it is okay and that you needed that time. Then again it is a meme and they often don’t want to say anything but make a silly joke.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I think we are at different points of our journey and just have a different perspective on it. A few years ago I probably felt a lot more like you do now.
For me that meant being in constant conflict with my own body though and feeling like if I had just transitioned earlier I could have accepted myself. And I think that I always thought that accepting my body was always just going to work by me transitioning and getting a completely different body. Nowadays I’m much more OK with me not changing my body but trying to accept it with its flaws and its ambiguity.
It’s a little different for me. I transitioned 9 years ago, and I largely resolved my struggles with dysphoria.
What still gets me a little though is the life I didn’t get to live at a younger age.
And if my transition happened “when it was meant to”, that means that life was never mine even in an ideal world.
So I frame my own journey as having transitioned when I could rather than when I should. I didn’t get all of the opportunities I wish I could have, but I’m absolutely grabbing the opportunities I can now!
I look at this meme every time I get sad that I didn’t transition earlier
Damn right, never too late, but my brainworms tells me it would have been better sooner :3
I remember in 2004? wishing I could do what this German girl was doing, as it was all over the global news. Sadly by the time it became politically/medically possible I was too busy working and surviving to even think about it.
I’m so glad trans kids today get to go through it earlier and are informed/supported. I now this one little kid since they were three and I’m so happy/envious.
Well, if by blind luck they have supportive parents, sure. My parents intentionally kept me ignorant of the existence of HRT/puberty blockers until my late teens (I didn’t learn it from them, I mean)
Hateful families are the elephant in the room for queer youth. The defensive approach that dominates the discourse in the US (and so spreads to the rest of western countries) that is all but “let the parents and only the parents decide about their kids’ care” sacrifices those of us with hateful and unsupportive families. Trans youth will never thrive as long as minors keep being considered their parents’ property.
YES! Thank you <3
I struggled a lot with feeling regret that I didn’t transition earlier and being jealous of younger trans people. But doing therapy for many years I now know that I wouldn’t have been able to transition earlier due to my mental state at that time. It is totally fine to transition later and also to do it super slowly like me. Nowadays I’m just happy to be myself and that’s all I need :)
@Quokka Then mine was a lazy bitch.
