Unfortunately bottom surgery won’t stop them from excluding and hating you. I’m generally very pro bottom surgery, I love my pussy, but you need to want it for the right reasons or you’ll always ask what if

If you find you do want it for the right reasons though then get it girl

Unfortunately, getting SRS often doesn’t change how the bigots treat you. I had bottom surgery and still get the same arguments about what bathroom I should use and all the rest. Genitals are just an excuse, facial features are just and excuse, chromosomes are just an excuse, they’ll find some other trait to use to excuse their hate no matter what you do.

That being said, I definitely encourage exploring your own desires for SRS.

I initially thought I didn’t want HRT, just bottom surgery. And after it was required to get HRT in order to get bottom surgery covered by my health plan since they use old WPATH recommendations as requirements, I started low dose just to meet the requirements but then I found I was only not wanting it because I thought I would be coopting women and I’m technically agender. But once I experienced it, I found it really made me feel more me and eventually pushed to higher doses and I’m actually now sad that I don’t have more chest growth even though I thought I didn’t want breasts. I also was only going to get hair removal (because I’ve always hated my body hair type and the issues it causes) and minimal facial feminization just to be left alone like being able to use bathrooms in peace. But as my journey has progressed, my understanding of my wants and needs has changed.

Anyway, my point is that the social conditionings can go both ways, both making you feel like you have to as well as making you feel like you don’t want or don’t deserve to be more feminine. Although, I still don’t “feel like” a woman or a man or really have any “gender experience” in that sense, I do want to be perceived as a woman, I like having breasts and want slightly bigger ones for me as well as so that clothing fits better for example. And I always had bottom dysphoria that went as far as what I like to equate to a “phantom vagina”. So, the bottom surgery made a huge improvement in my life. I recently got my Estradiol in the 300-400 pg/ml range and have experienced much more pronounced feelings of all kinds which I didn’t even realize was holding me back from being social among other things. And I’m working on the long process of wait lists for facial feminization. I also recently started dating a woman who treats me 100% as a woman, not as a psuedo-woman like some tend to treat me, and that has felt amazing.

I’m not saying any of that is what you want or need. Just that it wasn’t what I thought I wanted or needed and it wasn’t until I truly stopped worrying about other’s expectations that I could separate what I wanted from what I felt I deserved. It took many years to get to the point of deciding the first step and many more to figure out what other steps were appropriate.

Take your time. Though if you’re in a place that has long wait lists, I do recommend that you proceed as if you want it all, and then if you end up not, just cancel it. You don’t ultimately have to go through with it. Just having the consultation though, might do some good in helping with your decision and often there’s still a long road after that to change your mind. The system is designed for road blocks and gate keeping, so just jump through their hoops and then in the end do what you want/need.

responding to this is hard because i get it so much… i hear you, you’re not alone in feeling alienated. i have a membership at a climbing gym, which is one of the more accepting places for queer people in general, but im really not comfortable going in the locker rooms. the mens locker room is a no for obvious reasons, and the womens locker room feels off limits to me with my current presentation. all the rhetoric around bathrooms is really fucked up and demoralizing. i wish there was something to do about it but it feels like atm the only thing we can do is survive long enough to see this stuff go away.

one thing i will mention since i have a fair amount of experience with fencing, it doesnt have gender segregation the same way other sports do, theres an open league and a womens league. the open league is open to participation for literally everyone, from children to geriatrics, and both men and women. back when i fenced (a long time ago lol) club practice was only segregated by age because small children (like younger than 10) have different needs than teenagers and adults, but everyone practiced together in the adult classes. i competed against both men and women regularly in the open tournaments, though men were definitely the majority. i know its not the same as being able to participate in the womens league, but you should definitely be welcome to participate in club activities and the open competitions. you may experience some misogyny since its a male dominated sport, but that would be an issue in almost any sport. its one of the more unique sports in how open the competitions are, even if at the highest levels of competition its de facto gender segregated (women generally just dont make it that far in open due to lower numbers and the athletic advantages of an androgen dominant body).

i know things are hard right now but i hope you dont feel pressured to get srs if you dont really want it. we cant let the bigots shape our lives. i plan to keep my dick and if someone has a problem with that they can fuck right off. it doesnt make me any less of a woman.

nein, just shut down the fcking bigots, sounds like its problem of fcking society which we shoudnt care, bigots dont care have u bottom surgey or not, they will measure every fcking mm of bones, tissue which overclock even cis women, sadly due rise in extreme right wing ideologies, and transphobia, even cis women are indanger, they overclock them too! no matter what between legs, along with transphobia is raising whole faschism and increasing misogyny, including internalized misogyny in women, hyperdoll culture to feed more money to capitalism, increasing patriatchy, suppressions of neurodivergity, and any minority group, u just overfocused on transness, there a whole problem is faschism, any fcking minority gets suppressed as fuck, and cult of normal, forceful psychiatric treatments similar to conversion therapy

also bigots now hyperfixated on chromosomes “binary female XX vagine either male XY penis”,they dont fcking know science at all such as intersex conditions, they really dont care had u surgery or not, had u ffs or not, they will found a way to pressure on “AGAB”, like ovarie, uterus

you shoudnt repressing yourself due of society opinion

for me the genitalia nothing matters in society integration, i would be still awwtistic weirdo(actually getting suppressing and bullyed for being weird), awwdhd disabled creep which cant gain more money for billionaires, would be still a world-hated anarchist, an immigrant(maybe in future), a “квадробер” hehehe im kittygirl which meows :333

in conservative areas there no true medical treatment at all not only hrt, but mental for example, in our assholes we cant get stimulants for adhd, we cant properly treat neuropathic pain, due view of drugs which have recreational potential, we get 20 year prison for ordering FDA, EU, approved bupropion, instead of hyperfocusing on trans rights, we should know we are just one of fcking minority for them, we should fight for any minority discriminized groups, problem is faschism, capitalism,

for me my bottom dysphoria was weird whole life, basically just hating pp size from childhood, now is still same, i dont wanna surgery except orchi, i dont feel comfortable someone will open me, cut me, put me in deep anesthetic shutdown, with orchi atleast is pretty simple and possible at local anesthesia, i dont trust even chemicals to doctors since trauma, i will do massive reseearch before taking anything prescribed