this is gonna be a short one, trust me! >o< (im trustworthy, see my pfp waving to you… yes its waving!!!)
there is no content warning, this is all child-friendly content.

i - wow. i was playing a game to get my mind off of things. (playing osu… a game which needs quite the amount of realtime attention)

but then i thought of my crush a smol bit. not much, nothing spicy, nothing special, literally just us and another friend sitting and having tea.

but then!!! evil and selfish and uncontrollable as my thoughts are - i imagined them asking me something!!! >o< aaaa ohgosh.

wasnt even anything big, wasnt even like - exciting or anything. but!

my - (this sounds weird) my tummy and pelvis started like - bubbling and buzzing like crazy. like crazy. like - crazy.

its like roller coaster riding but only the part where u go straight down but without the gut-wrenching feeling and more positive and this might still be an understatement honestly.

i lost the level because i was pulling my hands off of the keyboard as i was - involuntarily squirming back and forth on the chair, moving away from the desk… this really does sound weird.

like - i had to actively distract myself to get it to stop. it wasnt a horny thing, it was very different.

(for anyone caring: am on hrt for 2 months)

wowie zowie. anyway, am i allowed to post stuff like this here, or is this maybe not the right place?

also, i hope u have a lovely day <3

    • maria [she/her]
      OPEnglish
      4·
      3 days ago

      yeah. at this point i dont wanna have to live ever again without these feels. im so happy i can have them and they make doin stuff and yapping to peeps feel so very much more important and real and like its not just about conversing and getting stuff done, but about the thing itself-----

  • strawberry_enjoyer42English
    9·
    3 days ago

    I’d squirm when my ex complimented me. The tingling sounds familiar… not sure why it happens? It doesn’t seem to connect to any emotions.

    …Maybe I need to ask my doctor about it.

    • maria [she/her]
      OPEnglish
      6·
      3 days ago

      aaaa this sounds weird but i got it just from reading ur comment again---- umm i dont think u need to see a doctor, since this appears to just be a thing -
      besides of course if u wanna get rid of those mental connections, in which case… im not stoppting u!!! <3

    • SuperNovaStarEnglish
      5·
      3 days ago

      I mean you can ask your doctor about it if you want, but it sounds pretty normal to me. Never heard of having “butterflies in your stomach”?

      • maria [she/her]
        OPEnglish
        6·
        3 days ago

        but like - but like they are SO much stronger than what i thought butterflies meant before… anyway, heyhi dear SuperNovaStar.

      • strawberry_enjoyer42English
        2·
        2 days ago

        OHHHH THAT’S WHAT THAT MEANS!

        Thanks for saving me the embarrassment of asking my doctor about butterflies in my stomach lol

  • applebuschEnglish
    9·
    3 days ago

    it might be kind of a horny thing. im still getting used to my new feelings and learning to identify them, but this kind of sounds like when i feel girl horny. i notice it most when my nipples get touched. when i do it myself i get this intense feeling in like my belly area but not really localized, and when someone else does it i get the same feeling but more and it kind of radiates out all over. the weird part is i also kind of feel it in my mouth, like when you eat cake with frosting thats way too sweet but that probably wont make sense to anyone. the whole thing feels so good its hard to describe, but very different than what boy horny feels like, like its a whole different thing entirely.

    • maria [she/her]
      OPEnglish
      6·
      3 days ago

      i think u got it exactly right.

      the frosting feeling does hit similarly, yeah… well now im worried that those feelings really were horny oh no…

      i was kinda hoping that it would be like a romantic thing… or maybe its just being rewired cuz hrt doin stuff and actively confusing things.

      then again, i *also get similar feels in a kinda situation u also described so maybe its like - it shows up multiple places.

      • applebuschEnglish
        3·
        2 days ago

        it could be a romantic thing too. like your crush makes you feel horny. that would be pretty normal i think :3

        • maria [she/her]
          OPEnglish
          1·
          2 days ago

          i-… applebusch. listen.

          i dont like to fantasize about mx crush cuz it feels so awfully wrong and evil and disgusting and selfish.

          so when you tell me this with a “:3” i just - i got really mad cuz i dont want to think of them that way, u see?

          i didnt want to hear what u said, i dont want it to be true. and maybe it is not true, cuz… peoples feelings are dufferent and stuff…

          im too sensitive about this stuff, i know, but… im sorry, i overreacted, but i wanted to let u know why.

        • maria [she/her]
          OPEnglish
          1·
          2 days ago

          nononono o its not horny!!! >o< no! No! No! no! no! its NOT!

          no its not. theres no way that it is. it really didnt feel that way and i kinda know what the new horny feels like now, and nono, that was different. yes, it sounds like it is horny, thats why i said “it sounds weird” cuz it really dies sound like it - but its not! >o<

          i didnt get the physical response u would assume under those conditions. so i will plug my ears, say “lalalala” and believe that this truly is a wonderful, pure, awesomely girly romantic feeling and nothing disgusting or horny or lustful or anything ew like that.

          cuz i dont think about my crush that way.

    • DomiEnglish
      6·
      3 days ago

      This sounds cool. My sex drive has been nuked by the cypro. I’m excited to find it again in new ways.